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The Polish Hammer got hammered

I woke up early this morning to watch the IFL Grand Prix replay. I was pretty hung over and figured “Well, I can’t feel more like shit than I already do”. Well, I was wrong. I don’t know how I keep getting tricked into watching IFL product … is it because I feel a responsibility to the readers of this site? Maybe. Am I just a glutton for punishment via poorly produced crap? Yeah, that sounds right.

Anyways, the event was pretty terrible … they used old IFL Battleground footage to fill in gaps in the show, which really destroyed the momentum between fights. Their ring announcer looked like a carnival barker and committed the cardinal sin of white suit jacket with black pants. For shame! And goddamn, I would pull out one of my teeth with a pair of pliers to never hear any of the schlocky IFL team music themes again. Last but not least, the belts were fucking SNAKESKIN DINNER PLATES THAT LOOKED LIKE THEY WERE MADE OF TIN.

The fights themselves were so/so. No decisions in the title matches, which was good. You just got the feeling though that the guys you were watching simply weren’t all that great. Of course it doesn’t help that I couldn’t give less of a shit about the IFL. I’d rather watch curling or cricket.

Anyways, on to the meat. The highlight of my morning was watching the replacement’s replacement Ryan Schultz absoultely destroy Chris Horodecki. The reason it was awesome? Because the IFL was all about Horodecki being their new breakout star, and he just got beat by a guy who’s lost to both Horodecki AND Bart Bart Palaszewski to boot.

Something tells me his reign isn’t going to last very long. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if the IFL makes another mockery of the tournament and schedules an immediate rematch so their golden boy gets a second chance. Although considering the mean pounding Ryan gave Chris, maybe he does have what it takes to hold onto the strap. Not like I’m going to care … my new year’s resolution is to stop wasting my time covering the IFL unless I’m getting paid to do so.

  • Jackie Chiles says:

    I watched the ifl in a blacked out haze last night and have decided that’s really the only way to watch the ifl, if at all.

  • Xavier says:

    Why’d they give a belt to a homeless guy?

    Oh wait IFL oh yeah.

  • ABM!2! says:

    To be fair Schultz was handing Bart his ass before he got knocked out in the last round.

  • Clinton says:

    I know you love to bash the IFL, but before you write off Ryan Schultz look at his record. He beat Roger Huerta. The guy is tough.

  • Atom says:

    Bart Bart?

  • Bort? Who the hell is named that???

  • Accomando says:

    “…To be fair Schultz was handing Bart his ass…”

    Looks can be deceiving, just like his fight with the Polish Hammer, Bart just appears to get hit, but he basically slips almost every punch thrown at him. Look at his face after every fight, I guarantee you that the other guys looks way worse for the wear. I was at the IFL grand prix, and saw Horodecki’s face up close after the fight and it wasn’t pretty, Bart looked like he hadn’t been touched. I know multiple people who train w/ Palazsewski, you can’t hit him.

    By the way, Bart didn’t just beat Shultz, he hospitalized him.

  • ABM!2! says:

    “By the way, Bart didn’t just beat Shultz, he hospitalized him.”

    That was a nasty finish, but you can’t deny the fact that Schultz was undoubtedly ahead on the judge’s scorecards.

  • Accomando says:

    “…you can’t deny the fact that Schultz was undoubtedly ahead on the judge’s scorecards…”

    You are right there, Schultz would have definitely won the fight had Bart not KO’ed him.