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The MMA match we’ve all been waiting for

In what I think may be the most important development in the history of mixed martial arts, BIG DADDY DIESEL has challenged THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR to a straight up no fakesies MMA fight. It all started when Warrior called Diesel a “d*ckhead who thrives on stealing the limelight from young guys” on twitter. Oh no he dinnit! Diesel then responded:

“Never realized I had a problem with Jim (Warrior). Seemed to get along fine in Scottsdale. Come on my clown, turn that frown upside down. @UltimateWarrior: A true warrior never turns down a challenge. Put up 100K. I’ll do the same. 3 rounds. MMA rules. Winner take all. I’m talking shoot, not sports entertainment. Jim Hellwig needs to put up or shut the f*ck up. Day before Mania in Miami area. Warrior will have to pass all HIV and HEP A, B and C tests. I’ll do the same. I’m tired of this guy talking sh*t about the boys and me. When they stop it or you tap, I’ll quit, or you can apologize like the c*nt you are. @UltimateWarrior You should watch your mouth, you know you’re a bitch. You want nothing to do with me. You ran out of your gym to avoid me. @UltimateWarrior You want to go p*ssy name the place and time. If not shut your d*ck sucker and forget my name. Bitch make me 100K richer. I knew i would get no response because i know Jim Hellwig. In the future when my name comes up pass Jim, p*ss.”

I think we’re all pretty excited for this to happen, but there’s just too many roadblocks in the way. Having to pass HIV and Hep A / B / C tests? That’s a pretty high standard for most wrestlers to be held to. If Diesel is going to be unreasonable like this, what’s the point of even issuing the challenge? Other than to remind everyone about how classy pro wrestling is, of course.