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The MMA Girl’s UFC81 picks are all wrong

I hate the “MMA Girls”. Mainly because it’s no longer MMA Girls, it’s MMA Girl. The other one fucked off a while ago, and now it’s just the one with the goofy South African accent that just makes her sound like she’s got a speech impediment. How hard is it to find another MMA girl? Seriously.

Past the issue of her singularity, I also hate the fact that this chick has carved a niche for herself based on the fact that she’s reasonably attractive and she’s talking about MMA. Who fucking cares? Why in God’s name are men suckered into giving a shit whenever women ‘like something cool’? Maybe 10 years ago a hot chick being into MMA would be something to write home about. As it stands, this chick is nothing special and her predictions SUCK COCK.

Let’s take a look at who she tapped for UFC81:

Tim Sylvia vs Big Nog – This daffy bitch picked Big Nog. And while I’d really really really love it if she was right, she simply isn’t. They might as well just let Tim Sylvia stay at his hotel during the fight because there’s no difference between that distance and the distance Sylvia’s gonna keep between him and Nog throughout the entire fight. Expect 25 minutes of Big Tim moving backwards on his bicycle with occasional jabs to keep Nog away. I just don’t think Nog has ever run into an opponent with no interest in actually, ya know … fighting. Tim Sylvia by decision.

Brock Lesnar vs Frank Mir – Again, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. I hate Brock Lesnar along with everyone else … honestly, I’m kinda close to putting a hit out on him so I don’t have to keep hearing his name ten times a day for the next 2 years. But there’s no way in fucking hell Frank Mir is going to survive against Lesnar. Expect Brock to put his fist through Mir’s face so hard Mir’s not even going to know what a triangle is, let alone be able to pull one.

Nate Marquardt vs Jeremy Horn – The MMA Girl goes for the safe choice: Nate Marquardt has a comforting record while who knows what’s going on with Jeremy Horn lately. But I think Horn is gonna come in hungry, and Nate’s gonna end up losing a tight one.

Ricardo Almeida vs Alan Belcher – Big surprise, another safe pick. MMA girl chooses Almeida, along with all you other people who haven’t taken into account the difference between MMA in 2004 and MMA in 2008. While I don’t doubt Almeida is going to be dangerous on the ground, I’ve watched his old fights and never saw much worth writing home about. With 4 out of his last 5 fights going to decisions, I don’t see why everyone is masturbating over his submission ability. Add to the equation a pure striking opponent who’s not dumb enough to try and win on the ground, and I think Almeida’s gonna lose.

  • #1 jackal says:

    I hope that your prediction is wrong about Lesnar winning. I hate that guy and I hope that he gets tapped.

  • #1 jackal says:

    By the way.. for the record that is the first prediction that I have ever listened to. I always see people that post their predictions on youtube. But they look so dumb and I could care less what some dumbass has to say about who they think will win.

  • intenso says:

    being “hungry” to win is so overrated.

  • Erin says:

    Wait, what? You mean the fact that I have tits and like MMA isn’t enough to catapult myself to internet stardom? I actually have to work? Well fuck that shit, I’ma go hang out with the local Dungoens and Dragons guild.

  • Slyvia is going to give Nogueira some problems. But I’ve seen Nog take too many beatings and still win to believe Sylvia can take him. Plus, Nog is a pretty decent boxer, so Tim’s good ole 1, 2 is not going to work.

    But there is no way in hell that Lesnar is going to beat Frank Mir.

  • Zurich says:

    Belcher is the man – KO by vicious knees.

  • CagePotato says:

    Eh, don’t go nuts trying to figure out Joanne’s appeal. It’s a heterosexual-male thing.

  • Fightlinker Jackal says:

    Are you implying that Ryan is a homosexual or a female? 😛

  • higgz says:

    Sounds like someone is jealous that they are ugly…

  • Ben says:

    I agree that the MMA girls schtick was tired before it began, and honestly, if you’re looking for hot girls the internet has more to offer than a chick in a tank top. But I don’t understand your criticism of her picks. You can’t call her out both for making safe picks and for picking underdogs. You have to pick one guy or the other in any match, and it’s either going to be the favorite or the underdog.

  • dignan (People's Asshole) says:


    Good commentary on most of her picks, but I am willing to place a bet with you that Big Nog wins.

    I am thinking, if I win I get a free shirt, and if you win I buy a shirt. 😉

  • But you’d probably buy a shirt anyways :-p

  • Lifer says:

    big nog barely got past the worst heath herring… i dunno.

    erin – i’d like to discuss your breasts AND dungeons and dragons.. at the same time if at all possible. message me! *heart*

  • kentyman says:

    (Psst. He drinks his piss, y’know…)


  • BoshyClaus says:

    I wonder if she said MMA factoids during coitus if It would turn me on. I wonder if she likes to get choked…

  • Accomando says:

    I didn’t write this……..

    “…You already know that she’s an ace when it comes to predicting fights — now get ready to learn about where she likes to party in Orlando, her hard times as a Domino’s Pizza order-taker…”

    She works at Domino’s, trust her.

  • I’m down with Dominos. In fact I’m going to order Dominos right now and see what the girl there thinks of UFC81

  • Accomando says:

    Let us know what she thinks!

  • It was a guy, and he said he didn’t have any toppings called Brock Lesnar. I said “Brock Lesnar” and he said “Cheesy Bread?” and i said “Sure!”

    Now i have cheesy bread and pizza on the way.

  • I can’t believe you guys haven’t done this yet, but you should definitely make a Mock video of the same exact UFC 81 Picks.

    I mean, dressing up in a dress, wig, and creates fake tits from water balloons could be fun for you guys.

  • Accomando says:

    Brock Lesnar = Cheesy bread…..coincidence?

  • Márcio says:

    Hey Fightlinker did you actually see Lesnar’s MMA debut? I’m not the biggest Mir fan but he isns’t some middleweight japanese guy. Lesnar has no fucking punching skills, he may win because Mir is lazy bastard but he won’t walk all over him.
    As for Tim “Yawn” Sylvia beating Nogueira, two words: NO CHANCE.

  • Oh, who said anything about Tim ‘beating’ nog … i said he was gonna win a decision :-p

  • Mobb Deep says:


    I like you, but you raging on someone else’s picks is just too funny, considering that you have a horrible history of making picks and losing bets.

    Also, the bitch is right, about Nog and Mir and hence you will be owned by a MMA girl.

  • shanaconda says:

    well … although I had seen the link before i had never wasted one hundred and fifty six seconds of my precious time till you posted it on your resplendent website….

  • One thing I’ve learned is whenever someone starts a comment with the words “Fightlinker,” then it usually translates to this:

    Dear Fightlinker,

    You are wrong.


  • MJC_123 says:

    Oh I thought you were talkin about Couture’s predictions from the headline… bad….his suck as well….

    An also I want Lesnar to win, the guys a frickin monster…imagine if he became a true destroyer, this would mean he’d have to fight Sylvia eventually and then his work on Tim’s face can commence….beautiful!

    Big picture guys….BIG PICTURE

  • kentyman says:

    Rob Yundt replaces Alan Belcher to fight Ricardo Almeida:

    I change my vote to Almeida by decision:

    Sylvia vs. Nogueira: Nogueira, R3, Submission
    Mir vs. Lesnar: Mir, R1, Submission
    Horn vs. Marquardt: Marquardt, Decision
    Almeida vs. Yundt: Almeida, Decision
    Tibau vs. Griffin: Griffin, Decision
    Lytle vs. Bradley: Lytle, Decision
    Eastman vs. Martin: Eastman, R1, KO
    Heath vs. Boetsch: Heath, Decision
    Nakamura vs. Emerson: Nakamura, R1, Submission

  • Fightlinker is Wrong says:

    Ya wrong… ya wrong… YA WRONG

    Nogueira via Submission
    Mir via Submission
    Marquardt via Submission

    Man your predictions suck an EXTREME amount of cock. They suck the cock from Lesnar’s chest. Your site looks like shit too.

  • untilesuper says:

    WOW, I don’t think I would let you pick your nose, wow you call all of them for sure. (sacasm) i dont even know who mma chick is but apperently she knows WAYYYYY more than you do about it. (or she has some really good mma friends and they just use her as a “face”) regardless maybe you should watch golf or something…..and leave the predictions to people who know…..

  • dignan says:


    Pass the torch to the MMA girl…she fucking whooped your ass.

    I blame the recent trauma in your life, and to your anus…resulting in poor choices in the fights.

    There goes my theory that picking people to win in a sport is a science…MMA girl is so fucking smart, and we are all so fucking dumb.

    I will stand by my own Nog prediction(free shirt should be in the mail any day now.)

    As far as the Lesnar fight, OBVIOUSLY MIR schooled him with that submission, but I saw three or four times where I did not think Mir was doing a great job protecting himself(other than turning his back) where the ref could have easily been justified in stopping the pounding Mir was receiving.

    I am glad he didnt, and Mir showed Lesnar a thing or two…but it could have been stopped earlier with the barrage Lesnar was giving Mir.

  • MMA Girls Joanne says:

    I love all the criticism I’ve received for this video. To be honest Mir and Nog were on there way to a loss, but it is MMA and that is how it goes. Lesnar will be a force soon, but as I said in the video it takes a significant amount of time to learn submission defense. The only reason I found this site is because I saw a ton of hits from the site linker on this video hosted at Feel free to comment on my video at youtube as I regularly reply.

    P.S. I went 8 for 9 on the entire card. Check my profile at for proof.


  • dignan says:


    The chances of me replying to you on youtube are about the same as you knowing with There, Their, or They’re to use in a sentence.

    Don’t bet on it.

  • MMA Girls Joanne says:

    thaank u four tailing me that i yoused the wrong “their”

  • dignan says:

    Holy fuck, I really hope that was a joke. Four? Yoused? okay, it must be.

  • Dear lordy lord. I got fucking SCHOOLED.

    Now you all know why I don’t gamble. Well, why I don’t any more. Well, more like they’ve already taken away everything of value and no one wants to bet for amputated fingers or toes anymore.

    Well played, MMA Girl. Well played.

  • MacDaddy says:

    Oh yeah, when all else fails and you have been completely emasculated by a cute girl’s knowledge of combat sports – Criticize her grammar!!!! Now presto! Your manhood has turned right side out again!

    This turned out to be the funniest post of the week. Who knew?! Joanne did apparently…

  • dignan says:


    You seriously think she’s cute? I wouldn’t fuck her with your dick bro.