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The Ken Shamrock trainwreck continues

Ken Shamrock’s next opponent. For cereal.

I still think Ken Shamrock is fucking with us. Last week he said he was fighting Bo Cantrell, he who was knocked out by a punch to the shoulder by Kimbo Slice. Now this week he’s talking about one of the only other guys Slice was good enough to beat: Tank Abbott.

A Feb. 13 WarGods and Ken Shamrock Productions event at the Fresno Arena in Fresno, Calif., features Ken Shamrock in the main event and fellow UFC trailblazer David “Tank” Abbott in the co-headline bout.

After the “The Valentine”s Eve Massacre” show, a Shamrock vs. Abbott fight could take place in April.

According to an official announcement from KSP, the Shamrock-Abbott fight is in the “final stages of negotiations.”

It’s tentatively planned for late April in Reno, Nev.

BUT WAIT! It gets better. Or worse, depending on your sense of humor. First, both Tank and Ken have to get past the jobbers they’ve booked to serve as a set-up for their old school clash. Shamrock will be facing Ross Clifton, a 360 pound dude who is so fat he needs to keep his shirt on while fighting to adhere to local obscenity laws. Oh, and he also happens to be Dan fuckin’ Quinn’s roommate. Tank will fight Mike Bourke, who is 1-7-1 since 2002.

Now the only question is if these two schleps know their roles and are willing to play along, or if they’re gonna pull off a Buzz Berry and fuck things up. Personally, I’m kinda praying for the latter. I’d be kinda sorta interested in seeing Tank Abbott vs Ken Shamrock just for nostalgia’s sake, but the way they’re setting it up reeks so bad they deserve to have the whole thing blow up in their face. I mean, come on Ken. Bob Shamrock is rolling in his grave.