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The Fightlinker Guide to Losing Money at UFC 78

If you’re worried that I’ve sold my soul to Bodog and am whoring out their gambling shit, then don’t worry: it’ll take at least a few more weeks for my affiliate paperwork to go through. For now, this isn’t ‘whoring’ since whoring denotes getting paid. So am I slutting it up? I’m so new to this. It’s so exciting.

Anyways, the point of this post is to tell you guys how tilted the Bodog odds are on some of the UFC78 fights:

Joe Lauzon -450
Jason Reinhardt +300

Karo Parisyan -450
Ryo Chonan +300

Rashad Evans -325
Michael Bisping +250

Now I don’t know the math on this shit so I have no idea how much you’ll make by doing whatever. The general rule on betting is the guy with the – is the favorite and the bigger the difference between the two numbers, the more money you make betting on the underdog. I think that’s how it works. As you can tell, I’m not exactly that Perfumedy guy. With that disclaimer, let’s take a look at some long shot betting!

Joe Lauzon -450
Jason Reinhardt +300

This is a case of yin and yang, or karmic comeuppance. Joe Lauzon got a sweet karmic break against Jens Pulver last year, so the stars demand that Joe must now lose in embarrassing fashion himself to an underdog. Unless of course Joe sold his soul to Satan for that win over Jens. In which case Joe will probably win. Because if he’s smart he’d sell his soul to be a great fighter, not so he could win one fight.

Karo Parisyan -450
Ryo Chonan +300

I love Karo Parisyan, but he’s only ended fights twice since 2001. In other words, he can’t put out a match … dude couldn’t find a sub at Quiznos. Chonan on the other hand has lotsa knockouts on his resume and some retardedly sick submissions. He is the father of the mythical ‘Flying Heel Hook’. Plus he looks like an Asian fucking gangsta. All in all, this here’s your best chance at making some sweet cash … Chonan winning would only be considered an upset by ignorant TUF fans.

Rashad Evans -325
Michael Bisping +250

People keep forgetting the fact that Rashad Evans fucking sucks. Sure, Michael Bisping isn’t exactly stellar either, but he’s a lot better than Rashad. This fight could go either way depending on how dumb or smart Bisping is with his game plan, but I have no idea what the odds guy is smoking putting odds like this out. I wouldn’t bet my kid on it (I already lost him on Tito-Shamrock 3), but I wouldn’t feel too uncomfortable putting a few bucks on Bisping.

32 COMMENTS
  • Swedish Guy says:

    The math, albeit stupid, in the american way of presenting odds is actually pretty simple.

    If there’s a plus, betting on the guy with a hundred bucks’ll give you the amount shown in pure profit. So, Bisping +250

  • Swedish Guy says:

    The math, albeit stupid, in the american way of presenting odds is actually pretty simple.

    If there’s a plus, betting on the guy with a hundred bucks’ll give you the amount shown in pure profit. So, Bisping +250 means put in 100 bucks and you’ll have 350 back if he wins. The 250 plus the 100 you wagered.

    If there’s a minus, that’s how much you’d have to bet to WIN a hundred. So betting 325 bucks on Rashad’ll give you 425 back, if he by any chance wins.

    Scale it down or up in what way makes sense. (I guess none of the basement dwelling jackals on this site have ever seen a hundred dollars. I haven’t, but that’s because here in Sweden we pay with Ikeas.

  • Swedish Guy says:

    Sorry for the fuck up. The comments couldn’t handle left bracket followed by two dashes, like this:

  • Swedish Guy says:

    LOL, it disappears. I’ve found a new funny game!!!
    Like this, without spaces, anyway, doesn’t show up.

  • Swedish Guy says:

    WTF, still nothing. Sorry for the spamming.

  • bmiller says:

    Hey fightlinker,

    In case you are wondering how your kid is doing. The kids good. I feed him three squares a day and he said that he is finally use to sleeping in the barn on the hay pile. This kid is growing a strong back, let me tell you, the other day he was scooping cow shit for hours and never got tired.
    If you ever want to bet on another fight like Tito-Shamrock 3, let me know. Do you have a daughter that you would like to put up??

  • frickshun says:

    Hey Swede, you must be all hopped up on goofballs this morning. Linker, you are dead on w/the Parisyan prediction. The guy cannot finish. I used to feel bad for him not getting his shot @ the belt but I realized that he doesn’t really deserve it. Also, Lauzon has that look in his eyes like the deranged squirrel from Ice Age. To him, Reinhardt looks like the acorn stuck in the ice. I hope Saturday stops the Evans hate. He may have gynocomastia & holds his hands like half a fag but he is a tremendous athlete & will continue to get better. Plus we need more darkies in the sport.

  • TommyD says:

    Are you kidding me!! Rashad Evans “Sucks.” Listen…

    Rashad faced tougher guys in his TUF & UFC career than Bisping has ever had to deal with. Josh (I can’t find a win at any weight class) Haynes, Mr. Rumble on the Rock or Matt (What do you mean I can’t fight with a broken arm?) Hamill for Bisping. Rashad would have crumb-dusted these guys.

    Bisping was outboxed by Hamill. Matt Hamill…..

    How many fights does Rashad have to win before someone gives him credit?

  • Lifer says:

    I dunno that BisBing has the tools to take out Rashad at all. I mean he looked impressive on the show vs… Ross Pointon who was terrible… Josh Haynes who was terrible…. hmmm…

    He can’t stop a takedown to save his life. He didn’t start stuffing Matt Hamill til the 3rd round and Matt was more than gassed. Rashad will lay and pray this one out in an unexciting fashion. BisBing’s hands have looked like complete shit lately too.

    I’d love to see Chonan win but he hasn’t done very well lately. He’s had some serious competition but I don’t see either person finishing this one. I gotta go for Parysian simply due to Octagon(tm) experience(tm) and his Submission(tm) defense. I definitely don’t see any knockout(tm)’s happening. I think Chonan’s camp is better though. They’re both just incredibly tough.

    J-Lau(worst nickname ever) is going to win.

  • stellar53 says:

    Bisping by KO 2nd round….BITCHES….that is what Evans fans sound like….he’s not that good…..get over it….

  • TommyD says:

    frickshun,
    I bet you only make comments like that around your lame buddies in your clubhouse.

    Racist internet gangsta..

    Fightlinker… you guys allow this crap…..

  • frickshun says:

    Hey Lifer(tm), one other thing about Chonan, he’s dropped a weight class. I think he will be stronger & have more in the tank that Karo “The Snacker”(tm) Parisyan. Couple that w/level of opposition & I think Chonan wins a close decision.

  • koolpaw says:

    lmao “Chonan looks like an Asian fucking gangsta.” heeee
    Chonan started to fight working as a carpenter,in Japanese called “Daiku” or “Deeku”, he s a real “Blue-Color man”. yeah i hope his winning, but Caro? omg technical quick and aggressive judo-ka. I cant tell which will be the winner.

    BTW, u know teenaged bad boys like Chonan was, is called “yankee” in Japanse slang? lol

  • frickshun says:

    TommyD,
    I am the least racist guy you will find. *All in good fun*. I grew up in Bklyn in the PJ’s. It was about 50/50 black & white w/some spanish peppered in. I play ball w/all PR/DR guys & whiteys. I am not an “internet gangsta”. This site is about fun, not being PC. Come watch me around my 2 little girls, FATHER OF THE FUCKING YEAR material. Did I mention my stepfather was black. And I don’t mean Bryant Gumbel black, I mean “Rikers Island” black (yes he has been there & yes I used to go to his AA meetings & yes he f’d up one too many times so yes my f’d up mother divorced him). I don’t judge people by color, I judge by actions. And color is just one way to describe people. I can make fun of myself as quick as anybody else. You are the type of person that says “black” in a whisper b/c it frightens you. I have gay friends too. I make fun of them as visciously as possible. They actually appreciate being treated normally. Idiot.

  • TommyD : We’re very anti-racist around here … we roast anyone out there who we perceive to be racists, bigots, or fascists. I get crapped on for standing up against it often, and have gotten some fun threatening emails from ‘proud white people’ regarding my stances.

    On the other hand, a big part of humor is playing with the preconceptions and stereotypes of race. When the UFC shows Mach Sakurai on their PPV eating rice at ringside, we all have a good laugh about it. When the IFL fires all their black employees on the same day, we have to comment on that too because even though it was just a stupid coincident , it’s still stupid.

    So because we make these kinds of jokes, we have to give our commenters a certain amount of leeway as well with their humor. The stuff that’s funny makes us laugh … the stuff that’s not funny, well, it happens sometimes. People who cross the line get what’s coming to them from other users. And anyone that’s just blatantly racist will get banned.

    But we like to think of ourselves as self-moderated. Say something stupid, and you will be mercilessly mocked. Free speech only works when you have people speaking out against others who use free speech in a negative way.

    In general, you should try not to take anything you read on this site seriously … we’re all trying to have fun, and give people the benefit of the doubt before assuming they’re ignorant racists. I read every post every user on this site makes, and if I see a pattern where i do think someone really is a bigot, I’ll toss em.

  • TommyD says:

    Frickshun,

    Why didn’t you say your step-father was black and ‘did a bid up-state’ to begin with?
    I think you made a pretty good case, so all is forgiven.
    Snapperhead…..

  • Oh yeah, we also love homos. My co-host jake is actually a homosexual. True story.

  • TommyD says:

    Thanks fightlinker…

    Well if I want to keep paying the mortgage on my basement apartment, I need to get back to work…

  • intenso says:

    way to gay up the site, folks.

  • stellar53 says:

    now let’s get back to the point of this conversation…..Rashad still sucks…..

  • dulljake says:

    oh Ryan, i know you wish i WAS gay. But, as stated before, you can’t be a clit annihilator and eat cock. It just ain’t natural….

  • Wu Tang says:

    Oww god, as long as jake does not do some stupid beastility crap that would cause colon brusing (aka beastility.. aka horse ass raping you.. aka do not record it… aka dont let joe rogan watch it or he will get a hard on), then all is gravy!!!

  • Atom says:

    Why did ‘perfumedy’ stop doing the betting guides before UFCs? They were pretty good, and FL only gives me 3 fights to lose money on.

  • Ted Dibaise says:

    bisping has no shot vs evans.

    rashad fought tito
    bisping fought elvis

  • ilostmydog says:

    Since when does Chonan have ‘lotsa knockouts on his resume and some retardedly sick submissions?’ Rephrase that as he’s got an inexplicable ability to get cut stoppages against guys who are beating him up and he once flying scissor heel hooked Andy Silva, and it would a lot more accurate. Chonan KO’ing someone. That’s rich.

  • You know what’s funny? I was lookin at his fightfinder and didn’t realize half those KOs I was looking at were losses lol. That’s why you don’t follow my betting advice!

  • ilostmydog says:

    The back to back flash KO’s against Baroni and Hendo were a thing of beauty IMO. Especially when you had all of Sherdog saying that Chonan was going to destroy Baroni.

  • Xavier says:

    You just said Bisping is better than Evans and you predicted against Karo, the man amongst men, a living god.

    You’ve lost all your MMA cred. You now suck.

  • Mr. Theplague says:

    Do I get banned now if I call Bodog a rotting pile of satan’s shit? I kid.

  • marshal says:

    I put my 401k on Rashad.

  • Oh, I would say Karo is a favorite here … it’s just not gonna be as easy as the odds make it

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