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The Baddest Accordion Player on Earth

Sherdog has an awesome article on Fedor that goes through his entire past and gets quotes from the man himself on why he decided against signing with the UFC. But you can read that for yourself anywhere else, because I’m sure the parasitic MMA news scene will tear this story apart like a baby in a bulldog kennel and regurgitate the relevant bits. My highlight probably isn’t all that relevant, but it’s definitely awesome:

One last hurdle had to be cleared before the young athlete could devote himself to training and the path that has made him what he is today. He was gifted musically, but there was not enough time to be a musician and an athlete. His mother gave him a choice: the accordion or judo.

He chose judo.

Oh, the crossroads in our lives. Fedor could have been the Russian equivalent of Lawrence Welk, but instead decided to stick with fighting. I guess we’ll never really understand some of the choices Fedor makes, but we’ll just have to put a little bit of faith in the fact that he did make at least one right decision in the past. OR DID HE???

  • Bruce Leroy says:

    break it down Fedor

  • Mike says:

    “regurgitate the relevant bits”

    It’s so true. You have to love after UFC conference calls when ufcjunkie would make 9 separate posts with the information from the call as if it were a busy news day. God forbid we just put all the information in one small area as to be reader friendly and not a long-winded douche.

  • Xavier says:

    It’s good he chose judo, had he chosen the accordion… well, he wouldn’t have been as successful obviously. He would have been skipping the hard notes and merely have played the easy ones. That works in MMA, it doesn’t work in the hard knock life of accordion’ing.

    Plus I hear the steroid testing by the Accordion Association of Accordionists is brutal.

  • Da Pit says:

    i dont like the part that you said that you said “because I’m sure the parasitic MMA news scene will tear this story apart like a baby in a bulldog kennel” Bulldogs and Pit Bulls are great with kids! you could of said cat instead of baby! Your like all those people taking shit about bulldogs/pitbulls when matter of a fact those dogs are great with humans!

  • Bruce Leroy says:

    i dont like the part that you that you said “you could of said cat instead of baby!” my pitbulls and bulldogs are great with my cats. you could of said evil molester man stranger instead of cat! your like all those people taking shit about bulldogs/pitbulls when matter of a fact those dogs are great with cats!

  • Jemaleddin says:

    The more of these things I read, the more I’m convinced that Fedor liked fighting for a corrupt organization like Pride where even when they weren’t making deals with the Yakuza or paying fighters to lose, they were offering guys like Gomi the chance to make any fight they mght lose into a non-title fight.

    I’ve watched a ton of Pride over the years and always liked their fighters, but watching so many of them flounder in the face of real competition should wake up the remaing Pride fanboys: it’s sad but true, but the UFC belts are the only ones that matter at this point.

  • Bruce Leroy says:

    fedor vs weird al for interim accordian open weight grand prix champion

  • márcio says:

    Jemaleddin you’re absolutely right… Fedor hasn’t fought any real competition:

    Ricardo Arona
    Renato Sobral
    Heath Herring
    Minotauro Nogueira * 2
    Mark Coleman * 2
    Cro Cop
    Mark Hunt
    Matt Lindland

    What a bunch of weak fighters, you’re absolutly right the only real fighters are at UFC. lol.

  • Xavier says:

    Ricardo Arona – Light heavyweight
    Renato Sobral – Light heavyweight
    Heath Herring – Garbage fighter who lost to Jake O’Brien, for god’s sakes.
    Minotauro Nogueira * 2 – Nearly lost to Herring himself in the UFC
    Mark Coleman * 2 – Over the hill steroid-junkie from hammer house
    Cro Cop – Kongo’s bitch, overrated.
    Mark Hunt – Fat man, out of shape perpetually
    Matt Lindland – Middleweight

    Yeah, what a list.

  • márcio says:

    man, you’re just acting retarded… give me a name of one heavyweight with a better record.

  • Xavier says:

    Hong Man Choi. He’s undefeated and is going to crush your dreamy man-crush on Fedor the Fightdodger.

    Hong Man is coming, hide the wives.

  • ilostmydog says:

    In MMA, three great wins = god-like status and thousands of mindless worshippers.

  • It’s all “what have you done for me lately” with MMA. And fedor hasn’t done shit since he fought Mirko Crocop back in 2005. No one is seriously claiming that Fedor isn’t talented. But after so little top talent to face in two years, it’s a legitimate complaint that he hasn’t fought a lot of the top names of today (and a lot of decisions have been made that directly keep him from facing these people)

  • márcio says:

    Yeah… I thought so, you just like talking shit. But when asked to back it up you can’t. Go and kiss Dana’s ass fan boy… You know you want to.

  • márcio says:

    14 fightlinker

    “It’s all “what have you done for me lately” with MMA. And fedor hasn’t done shit since he fought Mirko Crocop back in 2005. No one is seriously claiming that Fedor isn’t talented. But after so little top talent to face in two years, it’s a legitimate complaint that he hasn’t fought a lot of the top names of today (and a lot of decisions have been made that directly keep him from facing these people)”

    Right, and a talented fighter like him doesn’t deserve any respect? Why should he bend over and take it in the ass? Dana has no respect for the fighters and that’s why even without serious competition the UFC hasn’t been able to organize the big fights that everybody wants to see. Except for Silva – Lidell (One year too late).

  • You’ve come to the wrong site if you’re looking for respectful conversation about fighters :-p

  • Xavier says:

    “Why should he bend over and take it in the ass?”

    Yeah, the poor guy, he was offered millions upon millions of dollars and the chance to fight the best in the world. He stood up to the man!

    Can’t wait to see him fight Pedro Rizzo in an event that will lose money! OH YEAH FEDOR THE LIBERATOR OF THE MMAS!

  • ilostmydog says:

    Dude, not being able to compete in the absolute sadness that is the world combat sambo championships and not hooking up his Red Devil homeboys with contracts is basically analagous to sodomizing Fedor. Recognize that.

  • Jemaleddin says:

    Wow, you take your kids out to dinner, and suddenly you’re a coward. Ouch. Sorry I couldn’t sit at my computer and constantly reload fightlinker all day! (It’s not like they’ve got cost-per-impression ads!)

    To add to Xavier’s list: Crocop is Gabriel’s bitch as well, and that’s just pathetic. Top 10 guys should not be losing to tomato cans.

    But seriously: If it hasn’t occurred to you that a lot of Pride fights are a little suspect, then you haven’t been paying attention. Yes there are some great fighters, but it’s looking like Pride was full of fixed fights and hardcore juicers. Anybody have any other explanations for Shogun, Crocop and even Nogueira giving such pathetic performances? I’m not going to claim that any of Fedor’s fights were rigged because we don’t have the evidence of that, but when organized crime is calling the shots in an promotion, you have to wonder.

    Nobody is disputing that Fedor is a good fighter, but I have to wonder if he was as much of a whiny bitch about giving up the accordion as he is with Combat Sambo. It’s not like he’s going out and facing great competition there – heck, nobody even shows up to fight him. And while he’s right that the UFC has very restrictive contracts, they’re also investing a lot of money in fighters that will end up missing fights if they brake their arm doing the Russian Samba or whatever. I don’t know what kind of job you have, but mine doesn’t allow me to work for anybody else either – that’s not just for fighters, it’s for everyone making over minimum wage.

  • Clay Guido says:

    Yes he fought some tough competition in pride , but how many of those fights could have been fixed?

  • Mike says:

    Fedor being overrated or being weak or not being the #1 fighter in the world is the only either/or in my life where I immediately think the other person is an idiot and never respect their opinion again.

    Politics, sports, sociology, nope…. just Fedor. If you don’t think he’s the best fighter in the world you’re a brainwashed moron who can’t think for himself.

    “Lindland is just a middleweight.” “Coleman is old.” You could make these garbage arguments about anyone at any time. Randy Couture decisioned Tim Sylvia and then beat a guy with less than 10 fights and a loss to Werdum and suddenly these same people say he’s #1. They have a sad, flawed argument.

    There are a ton of guys that haven’t fought in 8 months but only Fedor was made an issue. Matt Hughes got KTFO, beat SUPERSTAR Chris Lytle, took 8 months off, and now gets a title shot. Funny I’m not hearing shit about him when that track record is worse than Fedor’s.

  • That’s because no one is claiming matt hughes is the #1 fighter in the world :-p

  • Xavier says:

    If you haven’t heard people shit-talk Matt Hughes, then welcome to your first MMA website, ‘tard.

    Matt Hughes is stinky balls. He’s worse than Fedor, but only by a cross.

  • Mike says:

    Are your :-p smilies silly sarcastic gestures meaning your posts shouldn’t be taken seriously or are they notes that you’re trying to prove a hard point but being ZANY about it?

    And yes, Nog “barely handled” Herring. For the 3rd time. Do I need to compare Colts/Jaguars or some divisional college basketball conference tournament game or any sports comparison where people battle 3 times?

    If Nog is so fucking horrible why will he be fighting for the UFC title soon and why has Dana White been in love with him for years? On the Lindland front if Couture beat down Anderson Silva in 2 minutes would he get shit? I think not. And the Coleman fight was made because PRIDE thought Americans wanted an American in the main event. The same way the UFC would put alot of Japanese fighters on a Japanese card. All of these arguments are just complete trash.

  • Xavier says:

    Oh nos, someone rang the Pride fanboy alarm!

  • Mike says:

    So I’m a n00b and now I’m a fanboy. I assume you have a problem with discussion or grown up points. Perhaps you should post a picture for your next post, that would be edgy.

  • To be fair, there is a ‘full moon’ in the form of a zombie pride event on NYE.

    Mike, you can take whatever we say here as seriously or not as you like … for the most part, we are all just fooling around making jokes and talking trash because that’s what entertains us. I could write a book on the subtle complexities surrounding posting habits, attitudes, truth vs jokes and hate vs fun, but yeah. It’s all one big mix here, and you just have to be confident enough in what your opinions are not to care when people dissagree with them

  • Xavier says:

    “Perhaps you should post a picture for your next post, that would be edgy.”

    I could post a picture of your mom. LOL.

  • Bruce Leroy says:

    antonio nogeira might be the next ufc hw champ.

  • Mike says:

    I don’t need a fucking tutorial, I’m simply making a point that the anti-Fedor argument could be made of nearly every fighter outside of an Anderson Silva or the like. You can say shit about Fedor, you can say shit about Nog, you can shit about Couture, you can say shit about Barnett, etc etc.

    If people wish to respond to points by changing the subject or name calling then God bless them. It’s the same way someone calling you a stupid mother fucker probably means you won the argument.

  • And I’m saying the difference is no one is claiming these guys are p4p the best fighters in the world. Okay, people are starting to say that for Anderson Silva, but i’m gonna hold off on that assessment until he beats Dan Henderson. Just because he’s the only UFC champion actually, you know … DEFENDING HIS FUCKING TITLE, i think people are just a bit crazed about him at the moment. But hey, it’s all in how he dispatches the opponents he faces. If he whupps Dan Henderson, i’ll have to give him the nod as better than fedor, who was taken to decisions by crocop and nog.

  • Mike says:

    And Silva can’t beat Fedor, Nog, Cro Cop, Couture, or any of the like. We can P4P all we like but the best fighter in the world is Fedor. P4P fine, yes, Anderson Silva since he’s on a roll, I’m cool with that.

    But who can beat Fedor? Be it Couture or anyone else they don’t have the resume to hold up to the same “internet resume” that Fedor has. I’m simply saying there isn’t a guy out there that you can say would beat Fedor that would have a resume that is better than his. His is ripped apart but so would anyone else’s.

  • I’d say Couture and Barnett both have VERY good chances at beating Fedor. Couture might be out for 2008 because of contract issues, but if Fedor is serious about wanting to fight the best, then he WILL fight Barnett in 2008. Until he does, you won’t stop hearing people blast him.

  • Xavier says:

    “But who can beat Fedor?”

    In Japan? Nobody.

    In the UFC, regulated by an athletic commission that does drug testing and is outside of Yakuza control? Oh, just about every other UFC heavyweight. In the UFC, with drug testing, Fedor gets beat by Kongo, Gonzaga, Sylvia, Couture and Jakey O’Brien. You see, in the United States, MMA is a legitimate sport and not faux-Pro wrestling.

  • Mike says:

    Yes, Fedor does fit that profile as a massive steroid junkie what with his big muscles and perfectly sculpted body. “Jakey O’Brien” would probably rape his butt.

  • Hey now Xavier … don’t be stupid. You forgot to add Justin McCully to the list!

  • Xavier says:

    Oh shit son, can’t forget Mullet Power.

  • Xavier says:

    “Yes, Fedor does fit that profile as a massive steroid junkie what with his big muscles and perfectly sculpted body.”

    Tim Sylvia just called and thanked you for complimenting his big muscles and firm ass.

  • Gavin says:

    I’m really curious to see Fedor’s strategy vs. Hong Man. Even though the dude sucks ass he’s still almost eight feet tall, and thats just crazy. Hong Man doesn’t even have a puncher’s chance because he can’t punch worth shit (just watch his fight with Le Banner), but he’s just so big. I gotta admit the standard K-1 Freak Show has me interested. As for Randy, how do you think Randy would win vs. Fedor? He was destroyed twice by Liddell, and Fedor is better on the ground. And Randy is 44 years old. And semi-retired.

  • Jemaleddin says:

    @Mike: Royce Gracie also called. Hermes Franca left a message. And you’ve got Stephan Bonnar holding on line 2. Actually, if you could start picking up the phone once in a while, that would be great.

    You said:

    “If you don’t think [Fedor]’s the best fighter in the world you’re a brainwashed moron who can’t think for himself.”

    And then:

    “If people wish to respond to points by changing the subject or name calling then God bless them. It’s the same way someone calling you a stupid mother fucker probably means you won the argument.”

    I’m gonna guess that since “brainwashed moron” and “stupid motherfucker” are so basically synonyms, you’re admitting defeat? Thanks – that’s big of you.

    You also suggested that we’re supposed to be impressed that Fedor beat up a bunch of guys that are smaller than him, and disappointed that Silva isn’t fighting guys bigger than him? That’s your argument? Hi, welcome to 2000, we have weight classes for a reason, jackass. There’s this thing called the “Unified Rules of Mixed Martial Arts” that you might want to check out – being a Pride fan you *should* know about weight classes (even if they made a mockery of them with open-weight tourneys and the “Gomi-weight” division – don’t bitch about Gina Carano if you’re not going to bitch about Gomi), but you might want to check out the parts on drug testing.

    Oh, and since we’re talking Fedor, there’s a section on not holding the ropes as well. 😉

    And let’s not start on the fact that just about every Pride fighter this side of Giant Silva and Mark Hunt was fighting a weight class above where they would be in any other promotion. Wandy? Should drop to 185. Crocop? 205. Thank goodness Dan Henderson listened to reason. And since Fedor isn’t cutting at all and walks around pudgy at 227, he should start doing some cardio and cut to 205 as well.

    And finally, you said:

    “I’m simply saying there isn’t a guy out there that you can say would beat Fedor that would have a resume that is better than his.”

    But his record is like a resume where you list relatives for all of your references. Sure, they had nice things to say about you, but how much of it can we trust?

    So can we drop this whole, “Fedor’s the best fighter in the world” thing until he starts beating people in a legitimate promotion? Please?

  • márcio says:

    First of all Jemaleddin I don’t know when I called you a coward. I don’t think you’re a coward, just a UFC Fan Boy that doesn’t know shit about fighting. People like you and Xavier can rant for as long as you want, but the fact remains Fedor has the best Heavyweight record in the world (probably the best record of all weight-classes when you consider the opposition), so suck on that bitches.

    As for the UFC being the only legitimate organization… you guys are funny, so putting together a gay reality show with a bunch of dudes stuck in a house is what passes for legit these days. Yeah man, mad props for how “real” the UFC really is.
    And on the steroid thing, are you guys really that retarded? There’s no doping in the UFC? Is that what you’re telling me? Damn, didn’t think that even UFC Fan Boys would buy into that.

  • Jemaleddin says:

    Marcio, I think I might have been conflating your comment to Xavier with your comments to me – sorry about that.

    Best record of all weight classes? Seriously? The only BS loss on Chuck’s record is Keith Jardine (blame the bitches that couldn’t resist the way that he looks like a cross between an infant and an old man). Losing to Rampage (even twice) is understandable. Wins over Randy, Babalu, Tito, Vitor, Bustamante, Randleman – very impressive. No, he didn’t beat anyone 30lbs lighter, but I think we can forgive that, Mike.

    Matt Hughes has an excellent record: losing to GSP and BJ is respectable, considering he beat both of them as well, and losing to Pele when that meant something isn’t too shabby. The two losses to Dennis Hallman were a long time ago. And he has wins over Gono, Newton, Sherk, Trigg, and Royce. And LOTS of successful title defenses.

    But the point is that Fedor’s record has been called into question by everything that’s happened in Pride. Did he dope? Maybe not, but we don’t know. Were any of his fights fixed with or without his knowledge? Who knows, but we have every reason to believe that the Yakuza was protecting their investment. That’s kinda how they work.

    I’ve never praised TUF, but you can’t deny that some good fighters have come out of there. Or was Forrest’s win over Shogun pure luck? Regardless, TUF isn’t the UFC: it’s a goofy marketing ploy.

    And the point isn’t that the UFC is dope-free, it’s that THEY TEST FOR IT AND THROW PEOPLE OUT. They’re regulated, you see? Sherk? No belt. Sylvia? Stripped. I don’t think anybody is happy with the whole “we test ourselves in the UK” situation, and people are complaining about it. And while nobody is happy with Dana or the Fur-Titties, they’re not mobsters, and nobody has ever come forward to suggest that they were asked to take a fall for them.

    It’s not that the UFC is great, it’s that all the organizations either don’t have enough fighters or are operating outside regulation.

  • Bruce Leroy says:

    no one in the ufc can beat fedor.

    fedor doesnt use steroids, he doesnt lift weights.

    write that down.

  • MacDaddy says:

    Brock Lesnar FTW!!! RAAAAAAAAARR!!!

  • márcio says:

    Jemaleddin first of all you’re talking about great fighters. Hughes is a mean motherfucker. I really don’t appreciate Chuck all that much, but unlike many of fight fans I wont start saying he sucks just because he lost two straight (even though one of those losses was to Jardine). But once again you’re talking about respectable losses, Fedor has only one loss and that was because of a cut, so he’s virtually undefeated, that’s amazing in MMA and you know that, even if you don’t care to admit it.

    As for Griffin beating Shogun, Rua came out fat as fuck and completely unprepared for a fight, he expected to run all over Forrest and paid for it. And when you talk about a fighter that was custom made for PRIDE it has to be Mauricio “Shogun” Rua you take away is stomps and his soccer kicks and you’re looking at a completely different fighter than the one who fought in Japan.

    Lastly, you should listen to Rampage on the last fight opinion podcast, he claims he was always tested before and after each fight in PRIDE. I’m not saying that there was no steroid use going on in, but I don’t believe that shit was going around like misletow on the holyday season.

  • cyphron says:

    Pride “testing” and actually enforcing it is something else. When was the last time a Pride fighter was caught with illegal substance in Japan? That’s right…never! Either no one takes anything illegal in Japan or that their “testing” is the biggest charade ever.

  • ilostmydog says:

    Yeah, Rampage got tested before and after every fight, but it was for drugs of abuse that are illegal in Japan. Cocaine, marijuana, etc. Not steroids. Even Sakakibara confirmed multiple times in interviews that they never tested for steroids because steroids are not illegal in Japan.

  • márcio says:

    Once again, I’m not saying that there were no steroid use but I don’t believe that every fighter in PRIDE did steroids like you guys do.
    And from all the guys that have been caught juicing in MMA only 37% had actually won the fights, so it’s not been proven that steroid use is that effective in MMA.
    Furthermore UFC doesn’t even do tests at all events (they didn’t had tests at UFC 69 and 70) so don’t try to sell the image that the UFC is squeaky clean, and all the others are a corrupt bunch of drug pushers, that shit don’t stick.

  • ilostmydog says:

    Wow. Two events that they didn’t drug test at. Big fucking deal. Two events is also the amount of times Pride did do legitimate drug testing at.

  • márcio says:

    You can keep pulling all the numbers you want out of your ass, I already told you unless you are a pathetic UFC Fan Boy (which means you started following MMA because a of a reality show) that shit don’t stick.

  • Bruce Leroy says:

    fedor vs arlovski

    fedor vs barnett

    fedor vs couture

    fedor vs sylvia

    these are the top four opponents for fedor, only one is in the ufc.

  • Crocop is still owed a rematch since he won the OWGP last year. Too bad Fedor ended up fighting Mark Hunt instead :-p

  • ilostmydog says:

    LOL @ Bruce Leroy’s awesome counting skills.

  • Xavier says:

    Actually, three are in the UFC. Arlovski and Couture are still under contract. The other guy is too busy putting cow semen in his ass to be in the UFC.

    Marcio is boring and dumb. It’s been decreed. 2006 emailed and said it wants it’s Pride fanboy dinosaur back.

  • márcio says:

    Hey Xavier, you really hurt my feelings. All I wanted is to be considered exciting by a pimpled face UFC Fan Boy. Oh Well!
    Now go and jack off to TUF episodes.

  • ilostmydog says:

    Let it be known that anyone criticizing his holiness, Fedor Emelianenko, will now be called a pimpled face UFC Fan Boy that jacks it to TUF episodes. You’d have to be an ingrate like that to not recognize the absolute god-like ability of Fedor, a man who has beaten not one, not two, but THREE top ten fighters in the most talent-starved division in all of MMA. Truly, he can do no wrong and is the most awesome fighter on the face of the planet.

  • ilostmydog says:

    *Please note that THREE top ten fighters actually are only two individuals (Mirko and Nogueira), but three fights.

  • Bruce Leroy says:

    arlovski and couture are gonna wait out their contracts and fight in m1

    write it down

  • Jemaleddin says:

    If M1 still exists by then. 😉

  • márcio says:

    ilostmydog are you Xavier?
    Are you one of those people that posts under many alias so that it seems that you have many friends? That shit is sad dude!
    If not, stop the hating, I never said that everyone who did not recognize the absolute god-like ability of Fedor was a pimpled face UFC Fan Boy that jacks it to TUF episodes, only Xavier is.
    Happy New Year!

  • kentyman says:

    Jesus Christ. At least if this was a Sherdog forum thread it would’ve been locked by now.

  • marcio, I check the comments for dupes, we don’t let that stuff go on here.