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The awesomeness of Roy Nelson

Didn’t you ever want to just walk into work and tell your boss to blow you? I know I have. But under most circumstances it’s just a fantasy. Well, not for Roy “Big Country” Nelson. He continues to jam his fat thumb into his boss Dana White’s eyes. We know Dana isn’t crazy about Nelson. We’ve known that since Roy was a contestant on The Ultimate Fighter. Dana dislikes the whole “fat guy” routine Roy has embraced, and questions his commitment to his career. But in a manner that most of us can only dream of, Roy truly couldn’t give a good fuck.

Now that Big Country is coaching the show he won, he’s begun his “blow me” campaign against Dana. It started off subtly by requesting assistant coaches he knew White wouldn’t approve. Roy took passive-aggressiveness to a new level when he requested King Mo – recently kicked out from under the Zuffa umbrella for calling a female member of the Nevada State Athletic Commission a “racist bitch,” and Victor Conte – a distinguished member of the steroid chronicles, a topic which Roy never misses an opportunity to touch on even though it must certainly chap Dana’s ass something raw.

Now Roy is abandoning subtlety for outright audacity. In his latest interview with MMAJunkie, Nelson gives us his theory on White’s disdain for him, and it’s a kick in the nuts:

“It’s probably because he wants to be a fighter, and he’s not. I think we were talking about coaching or something like that, and (White’s) not a coach. There’s an understanding of being a fighter, and I don’t think he understands.”

You got to admire a guy who isn’t at all concerned about shitting on his boss’ head. Once an aspiring boxer, Dana never made it in his chosen sport. I’m sure his collection of Ferraris make up for that, but you never know, some guys hang on to that shit. And yeah, Big Country went there, with vigor. This is the beauty of Roy Nelson.

However, underneath all that awesomeness lays some issues, as is usually the case. Roy also revealed in the interview his true intentions for all the shenanigans:

“I’m just trying to further MMA to the next level, hold journalism up to higher standards, holding fights to higher standards, holding promotions to higher standards, holding athletic commissions to higher standards, and even holding the fans to higher standards.”

I don’t doubt Roy Nelson truly believes that, but a guy who embraces the “fat guy” persona, rubs his belly after fights and talks about Burger King as if it’s actually good rather than the vile mess that it really is, is probably not too concerned with societal standards.

I envision ole Roy at night, hiding in the bathroom, stroking his dog’s supportive mane, recalling a childhood of ridicule and exclusion, “They don’t understand, Whopper, NO ONE understands!” But that level of psychological dysfunction just adds to Nelson’s awesomeness.