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The Adventures of Evan Tanner in the UFC?

Well holy fuck. When I woke up this morning in extreme lower back pain, I was thinking the best thing that’d happen today would be a Robaxacet induced euphoria. But not even 30 minutes into the day we have this good news:

Evan Tanner Returns to UFC- Former Middleweight Champ Back in ’08
K.A.O.S. caught up with former UFC Middleweight Champ Evan Tanner who broke the news that he signed a 4 fight deal with UFC. Date, time and opponent still to be determined.

Of course, this could possibly be a hallucination based on Robaxacet induced euphoria. Or perhaps it’s a hallucination on Evan Tanner’s side caused by alcohol. Or maybe just a prank phone call. God knows, we’ve prank phone called Mike Pyle twice this week pretending to be different organizations that want to sign him. Idiot.

Of course, you know the UFC only signed Evan to replace their other inconsistent sketchy middleweight David Terrell. If Evan doesn’t pan out, maybe they’ll go for David L’Oiseau next. It kinda has the feel of barrel scraping on the UFC’s part, but I don’t mind. Think of this as all of the guys who should have been on TUF4 getting a less lame opportunity to come back to the UFC.

13 COMMENTS
  • stellar53 says:

    Evan Tanner…..2008 UFC Middleweight Champion….

    lol at the Kyle prank calls….

    They need to get Chael Sonnen back in the UFC, If Evan can’t take it from Anderson, he will…..

  • frickshun says:

    I like to follow Evan Tanner’s train wreck of a life like my wife follows celebs on PerezHilton.com. It would be nice to see him back fighting but the chances of him returning to former glory is a fantasy at best.

  • Audacity says:

    Evan Tanner beats Anderson Silva by pickaxe to the head.

  • stellar53 says:

    Can you get suspended for being drunk in the octagon?

  • koolpaw says:

    i just hope his life would be fixed by fighting in octagon again, And I know you are also crossing your fingers for Tanner, fightlinker =P

  • Thomas says:

    Audacity
    “Evan Tanner beats Anderson Silva by pickaxe to the head.”

    Is the axe then a performance enhancing substance?

  • Thomas says:

    Ask Rich Franklin whether he’d take an Anderson Silva knee or a pickaxe to the head.

  • el feo says:

    i thought i was a drug expert but i have never heard of robaxacet. Please elaborate.

  • Trol says:

    Evan only hope is to train at Xtreme Coutoure. Maybe they could whip him back into fighting shape.

  • Audacity says:

    If the lightweight debacle ends with Sherk keeping the belt after a guilty verdict, then Tanner gets to use a pickaxe to enhance his performance.

    I think Rich would rather fight bear, shark, alligator, and gorilla simultaneously than fight Silva again. If PRIDE’s freakshow matches leak into the UFC, that could happen. As for the pickaxe…not if Anderson Silva was wielding it. Evan Tanner might hit himself in a drunken rage. It’s worth the chance.

  • operator says:

    All these things that are happenin to tanner are fuckin hilarious if he doesn’t do well in the ufc he should write a book or a movie script. He could name it rock bottom like his boat is.

  • hbdale309 says:

    “God knows, we’ve prank phone called Mike Pyle twice this week pretending to be different organizations that want to sign him. Idiot.”

    LMAO! After Pyle gets stomped by Shields he’ll be lucky if the IFL takes him back so he can go back to getting his ass handed to him there.

  • marshal says:

    Tanner to puke 2:30 2nd round.

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