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Tank Abbott and Kimo Leopoldo box, surrounded by midgets, sword swallowers, and Ron Jeremy

Tank Abbott has had quite a string of adventures of late. Last week, we watched Abbott and Scott Ferrozzo fight in someone’s backyard, continuing white culture’s fine tradition of stealing ” target=”_blank”>everything black people do. And this past weekend, he boxed Kimo Leopoldo at a celebrity boxing event in Hollywood. Well, if your use of the word “celebrity” is as loose as a 25-cent hooker.

Allegedly, the totally serious and dignified event featured midgets, sword swallowers, a half naked Ron Jeremy pretending to be a ring girl, and the one and only Octomom, whose huge titties were matched only by the massive gloves she wore.

Funny, that’s how boxing gloves always look to me as an MMA fan. Check out 8CountNews’ description of the event:

As if the card couldn’t get any odder, Tank Abbott and Kimo Leopoldo squared off for three, one minute rounds wearing head gear and some hefty looking gloves. In the end, it wasn’t even clear who won, but the fans in the crowd appeared to be the big losers of the night.

To cap off the foul language broadcast, there was also a scantily clad Ron Jeremy acting as a ring girl, a sword swallower, midgets, and the largest boxing gloves ever seen.

Perhaps the biggest disgrace of the night though was that the broadcast actually announced both Abbott and Leopoldo as former MMA champions…..guess I slept through those title reigns, which is something most fight fans probably did through this event. On the bright side however, we did get to see Lou Bellera (Amy Fisher’s Current Husband) beat up Joey Buttafuoco, Jeremy Jackson (Hobie from Baywatch) abuse Coolio, and a bunch of other C list celebrities like Amy Fisher and Octomom slug it out.

One interesting note is that part of the money from the event will go to the FilmOn Charitable trust, which will forward the money to children’s charities. So just like the Anderson Silva and Justin Bieber debacle, even though this event makes us throw up a little in our mouths, we happily choke the vomit back down and smile it off when we realize that it’s all for the children.