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Strikeforce: Douchebag vs. Asshole Picks

What, you thought you weren’t going to get a picks post? Jackal, please. This Saturday we’ll be treated to the first major Strikeforce card under Zuffa ownership, featuring a main event between two guys who aren’t exactly best budz with the new bosses, two lightweights who engaged in a classic war back in 2006, and an asshole with goofy pants who lost to a cross-dresser taking on some other asshole with goofy pants. MMA, woohoo! On to the picks! 

Nick Diaz vs. Paul Daley:

Scissors: Full disclosure here, boys and girls–I can’t stand Nick Diaz. Stockton is not that bad, homie. This guy managed to grow up in Stockton and not get shot, so don’t walk around acting like you’re from the City of God or some shit. Paul Daley’s also a giant twat, but at least he suckerpunched a universally disliked asshat instead of picking on a skinny reporter. A collision of colossal assholes has to produce an upset–Daley by KO in round 2. 

Reverend: I hate both of these fighters and I know I will feel some form of gratification at the end, since at least one is going to get a beating. Diaz is a half retarded Mexican gangster-cholo-wannabe and Daley is a goofy half=retarded black British gangster-wannabe. Diaz couldn’t wrestle his way out off a wet paper bag, but luckily Daley sucks at basically everything aside from striking. I expect a lot of punches to be thrown on both sides and Diaz ending up with the win, but coming out of the fight looking like freshly slaughtered beef. Diaz via UD

Gilbert Melendez vs. Tatsuya Kawajiri:

Scissors: Kawajiri, you been tuggin’ at mah heartstrings all week! Melendez, you been drippin’ grease from that fuckin’ jericurl on my rug all week! Melendez has spent the better part of the last year talking himself up in relation to the UFC’s crop of lightweights while not actually doing any fighting, and Kawajiri has been busy beatin’ up on Josh Thomson in DREAM. My heart says “pray for mojo Japan,” but my head says Melendez by decision.

Reverend: Melendez could make Diaz fall asleep, but not with a finish. Luckily for him he is fighting a guy from Japan who is not so good at wrestling. Kawajiri and Melendez combined have gone to 6 decisions out their last 10 fights. I expect more action in the stands than in the cage for this fight. Melendez via Japan no wrestle

More picks after the jump

Gegard Mousasi vs. Keith Jardine:

Scissors: Franklin McNeil picked Jardine. Nuff said. Moo-sassy, despite his less-than-stellar wrasslin’, is still a pretty fucking good striker and Jardine’s defense is so porous you could drive a Mack truck through it. Mousasi by ugly-ass KO. 

Reverend: Mousasi should take this easily but thats what everyone said about Chuck and Forrest. Jardine is as crafty as Martha Stewart, but also about as agile. Mousasi has fought a who’s who of former Pride guys but when he finally met an All American he got wrestle-fucked to death. I bet this fight ends in an ass-raping, but it could also be a sleeper.
Mousasi via KO

Shinya Aoki vs. Lyle “Fancypants” Beerbohm:

Scissors: It’s a pants fight and your mother’s invited! “Fancy Pants” Beerbohm is pretty good at that boring jiu-jitsu stuff, but Aoki is really good at it. I think those book-learnin’ types call this a quandry. Unfortunately for Shinya,  the way he reacts to getting hit makes Brock Lesnar look like Sugar Ray Leonard and this fight’s startin’ on the feet. Beerbohm’s not exactly the second coming of CroCop, but he can throw a jab. Against Aoki, that’s all it takes–Beerbohm by TKO, round 1. 

Reverend: Battle of the Goofy Clothed Grapplers. Beerbohm has fought a buncha nobodies or guys who were hyped as the 2nd coming only to end up sucking balls (Ribeiro). Aoki is not a fighter I can ever root for, because he is a cry baby loser. After his queer-out due to getting elbowed on the shoulder I have never liked him. Fancy Pants via having the ability to wrestle and strike.

Robert Peralta vs. Hiroyuki “Streetfight Bancho” Takaya:

Bet you thought “Fancypants” was the best nickname on the card, didn’t you? WRONG. Anyways. Who the fuck is Robert Peralta and why is the DREAM 145lb champion fighting him on the undercard? Cross your fingers that we get to see this one on the broadcast, because Takaya’s ” target=”_blank”>pretty, pretty good. Takaya by KO in the very first round. 

Reverend: Don’t give a shit

That just about wraps it up. I’m not picking the undercard because it’s littered with California regional circuit nobodies that I don’t give a fuck about. Diaz must be rubbing off on me. 


  • subo says:

    You shitbird.  Ryan may hate predictions, but I LOVE them. 

  • scissors61 says:

    just write your own and iw ill edit ’em into the post, doofus!

  • thingvolds says:

    how dare you shit on nick diaz like that. that type of “journalism” is exactly why this place is on the verge of extinction. ryan is only hoping to get a couple dozen more suckers to pay for a star membership before he cuts and runs, at which point youll have no choice but to join sue bo at the only thing worth visiting this place for is the threads i create. you should be ashamed of yourself.

  • scissors61 says:

    lol “journalism” 

  • Rodriguez says:

    Diaz by KO….same as my pick if he fought BJ. Read that, Sciss?

  • scissors61 says:

    i read it and i laughed. diaz couldn’t knock out bj if they gave him a sledge hammer

  • glassjawsh says:

    wrong, wrong, right, wrong, right


  • scissors61 says:

    We’ll see, shitapple! 



  • glassjawsh says:

    just so you know I’m going full bushido on this one. bonsai mother fuckers!!

  • Reverend Clint says:

    wow thing is a damn retard… fightlinker is not for journalism dumbass.

  • 32hunter says:

    Daley has literally no shot at winning this fight. [email protected] anyone picking him to win.

  • thingvolds says:

    Reverend Clint – “wow thing is a damn retard… fightlinker is not for journalism dumbass.”

    you would never say that to my face

  • ghostboner says:

    Moose assey
    Beer bum

  • Reverend Clint says:

    you know i just might if you acted like that around me

  • DJ ThunderElbows says:

    you would never say that to my face

    Yeah, the gun nut wouldn’t say it to the face of a guy who writes stories of beating up black guys who flirt with his girl. You’re always so perceptive and you know your enemy – it’s probably what’s gotten you through so many real-world combat scenarios.

    For cereals – RE: STOCKTON
    Nice boring honkies come from Manhattan – doesn’t mean streets other than the ones they grew up on aren’t hard as fuck. A neighborhood can last for just a couple of blocks.

    My neighborhood is an extreme, where yuppies and millionaire big wigs live on the ave and I walked to elementary school through crack vials every day on the adjacent street. But – again – that’s an extreme example.

  • scissors61 says:

    Nice boring honkies come from Manhattan – doesn’t mean streets other than the ones they grew up on aren’t hard as fuck. 

    Facile analogy. Does Stockton have rough neighborhoods? Yeah. Does it mean Nick Diaz can act like he comes from the hardest ghetto in America? No. To put it another way, I have a lot of friends who come from a city with a murder rate that would blow your mind, and they’re incredibly nice and respectful people. Diaz can fuck off with his bad neighborhood shit, he has no idea what a real bad neighborhood is and nor does any other American. Our slums would be considered luxury housing by many people.  

  • DJ ThunderElbows says:

    We have it badderer so no one else’s misery counts? Perhaps you have a different fucking culture? Perhaps this is a ghettoized community of customs and mores influenced by a diluted, Amurricanized social parallel to the evil scum racking up mad points in your culture?

  • scissors61 says:

    Diaz’s misery counts, but it doesn’t excuse him being a cunt. Am I making myself clear? 

  • DJ ThunderElbows says:

    Oh hellz yeah; Diaz’s behavior is totally counter-productive in every social and professional way imaginable.

    Also, I edited my comment and saved it to find you had already replied to my original version. Trying to make it clearerer.

  • Jarman says:

    Fuck you and your ‘curb your enthusiasm’ links.
    As long as diaz’s face gets more busted up, and Daley loses embarassingly, I’m happy.

    Aoki getting his arm broken, but somehow beating fancypants in a mediocre manner would be the impossible icing on the cake.

  • thingvolds says:

    Reverent Clint – “you know i just might if you acted like that around me”

    prove it

  • Reverend Clint says:

    ok lets meet up at an undisclosed location somewhere in the american southwest so we can duel like gentleman

  • thingvolds says:


  • Rector says:

    I’ve never seen this much wrong in one place at once.

    And who gave these clowns a column?

  • AcadianBacon says:

    Diaz might be an asshole, but all his fights are exciting, and dude can take a punch.  He’s my favourite fighter after Parysian turned out to be so sketchy.  He’s gong to rabbit punch Daley, take a couple of hard hits in return, realize this should not be decided on the feet, then take him down and submit him.  Diaz by sub, Rd 2. Melendez by UD. Mousasi will K Jardine TFO.  Aoki by sub, Rd. 1.  Don’t have an opinion on the last fight.

  • YEAH RIGHT says:

    Am I the only one who noticed rev said Kawajiri isn’t good at wrestling? Have you ever seen him fight before? Anyone? Hello? Is this thing on?

  • glassjawsh says:

    Not only is Kawajiri a good Japanese wrestler. He’s THE BEST Japanese wrestler (outside of okami) and unless there are some fervent yoshiro maeda supporters in here there is little debate about it. clint obviously doesn’t give a shit about jmma (nor should he though) but making blanket statements about things you have no idea about is a quick and easy way to look like a dumbass.

    you dumbass

  • Reverend Clint says:

    i meant compared to americans

  • frickshun says:

    Yay, picks.

    Next you’ll speculate about the stock market…….if I’m lucky!!

  • I am the Liquor says:

    Does anyone have a link for this event?

  • Reverend Clint says:

    I have seen his fights and being the best at wrestling in japan is like being the best chinese NASCAR driver.

  • scissors61 says:

    *gasp* I am the Liquor

  • Reverend Clint says:

    was i wrong about kawajiri?

  • agentsmith says:

    Well it’s not like we even got a chance to see his wrestling. Gil hit him with that big shot early on, and he never recovered.

  • Reverend Clint says:

    he used some greco to hold him against the cage as he savagely raped him. yet another japanese fighter not ready for America

  • Rodriguez says:

    I called Diaz by KO. Seriously, scroll up if you don’t believe me.

  • Reverend Clint says:

    yeah good call… diaz and melendez impressed me.

  • G Funk says:

    Sometimes, I think Rod is a biznitch.

  • Blackula Jonez says:

    The only thing more impressive than the Diaz/Daley 4 minute war on boring fights, was what Gil Milendez did.


    Two of the most violent rounds this year have been done by lightweights in title fights in the first round. That was easily the most savage performance I have seen from Gil Melendez, did Kawajiri owe him money or something?

  • Blackula Jonez says:

    Good on Aoki for immediatley submitting Beer Bomb as soon as the reveresed the takedown attempt. That meth head really thought he was going to out grapple Aoki and payed the price.


    As far as the Mousasi vs jardine fight, I remember King Mo talking about Gegard being a dirty fighter and that he had gouged his eyes multiple times when they were on the ground. I didn’t put too much stock in it until last night. Is Gegard the Kongo of the light heavyweight division?

  • Reverend Clint says:

    mousasi looks like shit and cant even beat a washed up keith jardine. hype train derailed

  • thingvolds says:

    yup mousasi looking disappointing for a guy who i thought could be a world beater not long ago. hopefully he changes something up because he has potential.

  • scissors61 says:

    rod is snowden’s gimmick! proof: Nick Diaz is the Greatest Man to Ever Live

    all bullshit aside, was a very good 4:54 of fighting. Fun card, even if I did horribly on the picks. Oh well, it was worth a shot. 

  • subo says:

    Snowden as a Rodriguez puppet makes so much sense it’s not even funny.

  • Grappo says:

    Not only is Kawajiri a good Japanese wrestler. He’s THE BEST Japanese wrestler (outside of okami) and unless there are some fervent yoshiro maeda supporters in here there is little debate about it.


    It can be argued that Kid and Miyata are better wrestlers