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Staff Picks Strikeforce: Houston

Tim Kennedy… International Man of Mystery. King Mo and KJ Noons both look homeless compared to Tim.

Bobby Lashley vs Chad Griggs

Reverend- Like Jake had to ask, “Who the fuck is Chad Griggs?” I also have to ask a question… who gives a fuck? This is just the first main card fight of an event full of fights I don’t give a shit about with the exception of one, Kennedy vs Jacare. Chad Griggs fought a guy named Homer… enough said. Bobby Lashley is Strikeforce’s more successful version of Bob Sapp, enough said.

Bobby Lashley via roid rage/small head syndrome TKO rd. 1

Subo- Bob Sapp’s strength of schedule absolutely dwarfs Bobby Lashley. It’s an insult to Bob Sapp to put his name in the same sentence as Bobby Lashley (yes, I’m aware of their “fight”). Could Lashley take Ernesto Hoost in a K-1 match? That’s what I thought. Lashley is the worst example of a spoon-fed name taking main card slots and TV time away from other fighters that could actually develop into something other than a guy that needed Donald Trump to sell PPVs for his fights. Griggs, you’ll be my hero if you can pop this fucking bubble once and for all.

Bobby Lashley via everything I hate about Strikeforce, rd. 1

KJ Noons vs Jorge Gurgel

Reverend- Like I said… who fucking cares. Jorge is a coach of a martial art he doesn’t use and KJ was EliteXC’s great white hope. I don’t have a problem with KJ  in fact I like him for the sole fact that he cut up Nick Diaz. Jorge on the other hand is just a stupid fighter.

KJ Noons via Jorge not going to the ground TKO Rd 3

Subo- Noons really does have some pretty good hands, but I just hate his douchey face and douchey haircut and douchey voice. Plus he came in .25 pounds overweight. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!! NEVER MISS WEIGHT EVER!!!!! Gurgel would be like if James Toney came up to Randy and started doing capoiera.

Noons via the most favorable match up in all the land, rd. 2
Ronald Souza vs Tim Kennedy

Reverend- Why the fuck aren’t these guys in the UFC? Oh yeah, Jacare is overrated and Tim is probably stuck in a retarded contract. Neither of these guys has really fought the best of the best… they have fought the best of the rest. I am a huge Tim Kennedy the man fan, in the same way I like Brian Stann. I respect them as men and combat veterans but as fighter they are so-so. Kennedy at least has some descent credentials in beating Nick Thompson and Trevor Prangley. jacare has beaten Matt Lindland and Joey Villesenor, a fighter who can only beat guys who perennially sucks balls like Cyborg, Loiseau or Baroni. It’s sad that this is the best fight on the card and I’m not even that interested in it. I predict terrible numbers for this card.

Tim Kennedy via TKO rd 2

Subo- See, this is smart matchmaking. In a division that just lost it’s far and away best fighter, the winner of this is instantly marketable and coming off of a credible win. It’s really not that hard – relevant, competitive match-ups produce stars, not just-add-water ass kickings like we see above. Souza has to fight Demian Maia at some point in order for my life to be complete. He’s clearly the better BJJ player here. But Kennedy is well rounded, strong, fast, and is not going to be freaked out every time Jacare twitches when he’s on top of him. Once the Taliban has shot at you, I don’t think your pulse fluctuates when escaping an arm bar. I just don’t think Tim will respect Ronaldo’s submission offense enough.

Souza via triangle, round 2

Muhammad Lawal vs Rafael Cavalcante

Reverend- Should read Overrated vs Unknown. Who have either of these guys beaten to be champion of anything but a sandbox. King Mo has beaten Mark Kerr, Mike Whitehead and Gegard Mousasi. Let me break that down for you Mark Kerr is old and busted, mike Whitehead is TUF cast off, Gegard is a 185 fighter who hasn’t beaten anyone either. Cavalcante is basically the same minus any name recognition unless you count Travis Galbraith.

King Mo via being More Overrated and laying on him

Subo- King Mo and Mousasi have weaseled their way in to a lot of top tens at LHW ranking. Pure insanity. Mousasi’s best win at 205 (one of only two, he’s 2-1 at the weight class) is Babalu, and Mo’s best win at 205 is… Mousasi. Having either of them over a Ryan Bader or Jason Brilz is pure, utter lunacy. Anyway, I read someone write “nobody remembers how hyped Feijao was before he lost to Mike Kyle.” Um, that’s because he lost to MIKE KYLE.

Lawal via I’m not calling him the king of shit, round 4

Daniel Cormier vs  Jason Riley

Reverend- Now something mildly interesting. this will be Daniel Cormier’s 3rd fight in 21 days. In that time he has fought on a different continent and for 2 titles… both of which he won. Jason Riley is a can that Tim Sylvia beat at basically a Tim Sylvia can smashing contest. Daniel is a 2 time Olympian… I’m sure you all know his story already. The guy is an animal for taking this fight.

Daniel Cormier via TKO rd 1

Subo- I can’t fucking pick a guy that’s making Chris Leben look lazy, and I can’t fucking pick a guy that’s last fight was against “The Panda” in the Ohio Fight Conference. Riley’s from Columbus, so 1,440 bonus points for him, but then again, Daniel is… can you tell I’m reaching here?

Cormier via Eye of the Tiger, rd 1