You might think that the CSAC is around just to deny fighters, cancel events, and fuck up steroid hearings. But they do so much more than that! Here’s jackal Roxy’s account of how a CSAC representative follows you into the bathroom every time you need to go in order to make sure you’re not injecting god knows what into your system on fight night:
I think the real reason for the escorts was to keep me from snorting coke or taking caffeine pills in the bathroom. Or that new stuff from Japan that allows a person to throw lethal knee combinations relentlessly until the person verbally submits. Who knows what those crazy Japanese make?
Then, when I didn’t see anyone but had to pee and went and came back, I got talked to. So when I needed a bathroom escort, I said very politely, ‘Excuse me, may I have a bathroom escort?’ Like when I was in kindergarten.
I would never do such a thing like coke, or take that crazy super-kneeing-ability-power-up drug! Although I have to admit, I had the strong urge to shout “Mmmmmmmm this power bar is deliiiiiiiicious!” several time behind the closed stall doors. Just as a joke, you know. Because, only one person can fit in the stall- our body guard would have trouble. And you know we aren’t allowed to take any food or drinks into the locker room. Except for fresh fruit. Thank GOD for bananas. So by 10 o’clock, when I fought, I was able to fight on a stomach full of banana. I would never eat that powerbar because they confescated when I entered. Oops did I say that?
Ah, CSAC amusements. The next bit isn’t so funny though:
If I had joked around with the power bar thing, maybe they would have told me I couldn’t fight. Like they did to about three girls. The afternoon of the fight. Like when we had our hair done and were warming up. It was quite amazing. The night was half over and I was wondering if I’d actually get to fight. People were like crying in the back….
It never ceases to amaze me how poorly the CSAC runs it’s shit. They’re right next door to the Nevada State Athletic Commission, one of the best commissions in the world. Yet they can’t take a hint on how to run their shit. Honestly, Armando Garcia and his gang of retarded mutants are one more major cock-up away from a letter writing campaign to have them replaced by people who aren’t completely incompetent.