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Shitty job: CSAC toilet monitor

You might think that the CSAC is around just to deny fighters, cancel events, and fuck up steroid hearings. But they do so much more than that! Here’s jackal Roxy’s account of how a CSAC representative follows you into the bathroom every time you need to go in order to make sure you’re not injecting god knows what into your system on fight night:

I think the real reason for the escorts was to keep me from snorting coke or taking caffeine pills in the bathroom.   Or that new stuff from Japan that allows a person to throw lethal knee combinations relentlessly until the person verbally submits. Who knows what those crazy Japanese make?

Then, when I didn’t see anyone but had to pee and went and came back, I got talked to.   So when I needed a bathroom escort, I said very politely, ‘Excuse me, may I have a bathroom escort?’   Like when I was in kindergarten.

I would never do such a thing like coke, or take that crazy super-kneeing-ability-power-up drug! Although I have to admit, I had the strong urge to shout “Mmmmmmmm this power bar is deliiiiiiiicious!” several time behind the closed stall doors.   Just as a joke, you know.   Because, only one person can fit in the stall- our body guard would have trouble.   And you know we aren’t allowed to take any food or drinks into the locker room.   Except for fresh fruit. Thank GOD for bananas.   So by 10 o’clock, when I fought, I was able to fight on a stomach full of banana.     I would never eat that powerbar because they confescated when I entered.   Oops did I say that?

Ah, CSAC amusements. The next bit isn’t so funny though:

If I had joked around with the power bar thing, maybe they would have told me I couldn’t fight.   Like they did to about three girls.   The afternoon of the fight. Like when we had our hair done and were warming up.   It was quite amazing.   The night was half over and I was wondering if I’d actually get to fight.   People were like crying in the back….

It never ceases to amaze me how poorly the CSAC runs it’s shit. They’re right next door to the Nevada State Athletic Commission, one of the best commissions in the world. Yet they can’t take a hint on how to run their shit. Honestly, Armando Garcia and his gang of retarded mutants are one more major cock-up away from a letter writing campaign to have them replaced by people who aren’t completely incompetent.

  • Honestly, from all of the hearings and interviews I’ve heard from Armando Garcia, he does seem to at least have the knowledge to know what he’s doing in his poisition, but the biggest problem for him, and boy it must be frustrating, is having to deal with the fact that he isn’t the ultimate decision maker when it comes to the hearings. The entertainment industry commission members don’t know a thing about the fight game and based on hearing notes on their website, almost NEVER follow Garcia’s reccommendations. The most glaring item that follows that claim is that Garcia wanted to keep Sherk’s suspension where it was, and the commission members didn’t listen.

    Garcia has done some stupid shit though, but the entire Nick Diaz situation, after looking at what he has claimed, makes sense on the CSAC side if his story checks out. Of course, if Diaz is going to hit the courts, then it’ll likely get into the raw details of the paper trail. Most people believe it was marijuana, but Garcia had them by the balls when they turned in the paperwork three days beforehand when it clearly states in the CSAC rules that you cannot expect to fight if you haven’t turned in the paperwork at least a week in advance.

    It’d almost be beneficial to have a CSAC commission member move to the executive director who is completely clueless so these fights can happen, and have Garcia on the commission to make sure fighters aren’t “getting off the hook” when they test positive for steroids, but “they are gonna change their ways”. Pathetic.

  • Fightlinker Jackal says:

    Armando Garcia > Gary Shaw + Nick Diaz + Sean Sherk

  • #1 jackal says:

    there are many fighters that say they will never fight under csac. there is def. a problem there

  • ilostmydog says:

    I’m assuming there’s a reason why the UFC hasn’t come back to Cali since September, and that no future shows have yet been scheduled there again. And I assume that the CSAC is a large part of that reason.

  • #1 jackal says:

    you bet they are a large part of it. Both fighters in the championship bout tested positive. CSAC should have known that you dont test any of the fighters positive and if for some reason they do test postive CSAC should have known not to tell anybody.

    they fuck up a lot of shows.

  • Hattori Hanzo says:

    CSAC, In the business to make fight prepeartion as difficullt as possible.
    “So by 10 o’clock, when I fought, I was able to fight on a stomach full of banana”

    I’d get dizzy by then of my BJJ class warmups if I didnt have something to eat an hour or so beforehand

  • RoB says:

    True justice would be a “sylvia vs arlovski 3” type decision, with sylvia being victorious.

  • garth says:

    is the bathroom bodyguard thing a policy or one person’s fucked up idea? anything from any other fighters?

    and why is it CSACs fault Sherk and Franca tested positive? Did they go to their gyms and stick needles in their asses? Seems kind of unlikely. While CSAC seems like a clusterfuck at the moment with accusations and arguments floating all over, the facts seem a lot less controversial. It seems like everyone’s problem is that allowances weren’t made for their VERY SPECIAL SITUATIONS, like that org that tried to run the show at the sports arena…they didn’t have the money in place. That’s a damn rule. They knew it was a rule. It’s not a rule that, when you fail to abide by it, has a special section for begging and pleading.
    Test positive for roids? Why, you broke another rule! It’s not a situation where you get special consideration because you fight for the UFC, or because you made sufficiently determined faces at cameras. You broke a god damned rule. Eat the shit platter you cooked up for yourself.
    I’ll never say a state agency is some kind of utopia, but I’d rather have them than not. Let’s start finding ways to get rid of crap personel…let’s ask fighters.
    I’m still curious about this bathroom bodyguard thing. Is it policy? Is it written down somewhere?

  • Remember the Baroni steroid hearings? Remember how they wouldn’t let Ken Pavia speak for Baroni, and how they wouldn’t give Baroni any time to plead their case? Remember how they consistantly pushed back the Sherk case over and over because they forgot to photocopy and pass around the documents regarding the case? Or how the hearing was delayed another week and a half because ‘a room wasn’t available’? Lets not forget how they’re constantly finding people guilty but still shortening sentences for some reason.

    I’m not talking about Sherk’s guilt or non-guilt or Baroni’s guilt or non-guilt. Their situations still weren’t handled in a professional manner at all.

    Past that, I still think the way they handled the Diaz case was terrible and I very much doubt that the whole thing was a result of paperwork not being turned in … but I guess we’ll learn about that soon enough.

    There’s also 101 situations where the CSAC has messed with the rules last second, banned fighters from fighting last second, and other chicanery. I’m not saying they’re always wrong about everything, but they most certainly fit the label of ‘fuckups’

  • Oh lets not forget that half the commissioners never came back from lunch for the vote on Baroni’s steroid case.

  • Captain says:

    Why were the three girls not allowed to fight?

    Oh, and the WEC is going to be in Sacto in June, so I guess Zuffa is not holding too hard of feelings.

  • clint notestine says:

    I’m a California resident and find my state pretty damn retarded but this one takes the cake. You’d think the most populated state in America and one of the best economies in the world could get decent people to run their state athletic commission.

  • According to Diaz’s interview and Garcia’s interview, the paperwork was turned in, but the timelines are different from both fighters. I think one mistake was that Diaz left it up to the promotion’s people to handle getting the medicals back from the doctor’s office and turning them into the CSAC. Garcia states he didn’t get them until 3 days before the event. Their policy is that if the application has a prescription drug on it like a marijuana card, it must be investigated meaning it needs to be turned in at the least.. a week in advance.

    That was the entire story from Garcia. He also talked about how Diaz was a complete dumbshit for going on Sherdog radio and flapping his gums about how he really doesn’t need it. That was just plain stupid of him to say considering the CSAC was going to investigate the prescription. When you go on a radio show and say that, you might as well throw the damn application out the window.

    Regardless, Garcia’s paper trail has been meticulously created and I don’t think Diaz will win a court case to get paid from losing a “to-show” purse. After doing the radio show, I wonder if Garcia will even consider licensing Diaz, but Diaz should still be able to test clean if he gets his medicals in on time next time around.

    But.. the CSAC is horrible. I remember a case where a guy tested positive for… wait for it… THREE different steroids. He went into the hearing and claimed ignorance and that he didn’t know his supplements had the stuff in it, and they reduced his suspension by like 8 months. Absolutely absurd.

  • x5BoltMainx says:

    So that’s Roxy’s secret…eat bananas.

  • Roxanne says:

    Captain- One girl went to an optomitrist instead of an opthamologist (maybe spelled wrong). One is like the licenced doctor who can give you the okay on the eye exam, and one just checks your vision. But according to the girl, this guy told her that he WAS licenced to do both, and that it was okay, but that wasn’t acceptable for the commission. Another girl had some medical problem (don’t know if I should get too detailed, but just like some injury from a punch) but it was like FIVE months ago. But the commisson had a problem? (not sure if I’m getting the details right there) and I forget the other girl’s issue.