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Rashad is the unluckiest guy in the world

Because Rashad Evans’ hand is all jacked up from whupping Tito Ortiz, he isn’t going to be ready in time for a November fight with Jon Jones. And because the UFC needs headline title fights like little diabetic girls need insulin, they went ahead and replaced Rashad with Lyoto Machida. To make matters worse, it sounds like Evans will have to re-earn his title shot … again!

“I told him that, ‘you’re the unluckiest guy I ever met.’ Depending on the timing and how all this shit works out he will fight again. He wants to. He was like ‘I’m not gonna sit around and wait again.’ So he probably will (fight). We’ll see how this whole thing goes down, we’ll see what happens. Plus Jon Jones has fought four times in 10 months. It’s crazy.”

Meanwhile, stupid idiots are still out there herp a derping all over the fact that Machida is getting a shot first at UFC 140. “Machida doesn’t deserve it!” they cry. “He lost to Shogun and Rampage!” Well, Rampage edged him on a razor thin decision and Shogun took the championship belt off him. I’d say the fact that he was champion just over a year ago is a pretty good indicator that maybe he’s worthy of competing for the belt again now.

Champions gotta fight regularly, and they should be fighting the best available at the time. There isn’t a stupid ranking list out there that doesn’t have Machida up at the very top, so what’s everyone’s problem? He doesn’t have a nice streak going? Fuck that. Here’s some guys who got title shots based off streaks: Thales Leites, Patrick Cote, and Dan Hardy. Streaks are a bullshit requirement, especially if you want to see #1 contender matches that actually matter.

Instead of rubbing sand all over your vaginas and then complaining because it chafes, how about being happy we get to see Jon Jones tear shit up again before the end of the year? That’s really what this decision to have Machida step in boils down to. More Bones Jones. And if you’re gonna complain about that, I’d like to hear your complaints regarding how shitty kittens, indoor plumbing, and orgasms are.

(gif via CagePotato)

  • lukustra says:

    shad’s a douche. theres also a chance bones vs machida is the most boring shit in the world. unless bone’s bone is big enough where hes not worried about pushing forward against machida, it might be a boring ass 5 rounder.

  • CAP says:

    Nah I think no matter what happens we will see how Bones handles another top level guy which will be intriguing. The style match up alone is interesting. And yeah Shad is a whiny beeotch.

  • glassjawsh says:

    kittens shit on your floor and piss in your bed. just saying

  • Blackula Jonez says:

    Lol at Ryan for thinking anybody (other than me or Subo) care about Rashad.


    The guy could save a fans family from a burning house and they would still complain about how he celebrated after he KO’ed Chuck or his show boating before he caved Forrest head in.

  • agentsmith says:

    The bottom line is this:  Jones just beat Rampage and Shogun before that, Shogun and Hendo are already booked to fight each other, Rashad and Phil Davis are both injured, Forrest just got KO’d, and Little Nog is riding two losses and isn’t really relevant anymore.

    So the only two choices are to either wait for Rashad to heal up, or give Machida a shot first.  And once again, Dana teaches Rashad that the belt waits for no man.

  • frickshun says:

    That pic made me lol out loud.

  • JoeRoganIsAnnoying says:

    Fuck Rashad’s title-shot!!  U want sandy-pants?  U got’em!

    Really FL!  Inactivity is the worst thing in combative sports.  This guy has fought four times in 3 years!  Over the same period our Lightweight Champion went 6-1-1.  Power rankings be damned, you don’t get to sit out and wait while fighter’s go to work.  If Jones clean’s out the division then he move’s to heavyweight.  Fucking vacate the belt!  Let that little bitch Rashad cry, or fight Machida again.  He can’t chase Jones up in weight, nor should Jon have to put his career on pause.  I was pumped for this fight earlier in the year.  Now that 2012 is upon us I’m just as ready to move on.

    I know he’s hurt; really hurt.  Hand’s are no joke.  But it’s the Ultimate FIGHTING Championship.  You have to stay active.  You have to fight… What’s more; Bones’ hand is messed up too!  You haven’t heard a word about it since the Shogun fight.  Machida’s hand was cracked from the 1st Shogun fight.  He went out & got KO’d without the best weapon in his arsenal.  But I reserve the upmost credit for Machida, because he went out there!

    I’m not saying Rashad should fight hurt.  If you can’t compete, then don’t!  But there is a very simple solution.  Rashad, when you’re ready, get yourself a TOP 5 guy and make him crumble like Tito…  The division is a shark tank.  Otherwise, please take your ticket & take a seat at the back of the line.

  • CAP says:

    I was getting pumped for Bones/Evans because Rashart looked great in his fight with Tito. But that was Tito.

  • malonth says:

    I actually like Bones v. Machida, more than v. Rashad. Let’s not forget that Machida crushed Rashad. I’ve always felt that Rashad should avenge that bad loss, if he could, before he move any closer to another title shot. Again, Rashad got KTFO by Machida in a very one sided match.

    I agree that it is problematic to give the fight to Machida if you feel a guy must have very recently “earned” the shot, e.g., by a streak or a very big win. But as pointed out above, streaks don’t necessarily mean anything. Look at Dan Hardy. Before getting his pathetic shot against GSP, Hardy was not forced to face any of the big name wrestlers in WW, i.e., no Kos, no Hughes, no Fitch. Am I supposed to believe that was an accident or oversight?

  • Billytk says:

    Rashad is a douche but in this case Jones should have maned up and waited the extra 2 weeks for him to be ready and kept the fight on instead of getting a replacement.

  • frickshun says:

    ^^Uhhhhhhh, I doubt Bones decides how Zuffa books their shows. He’s a young guy that wants to make his bosses happy by saying “Yes”. That sounds FUCKING CRAZY, I know.

  • DJ ThunderElbows says:

    Shut up Frick, Jones should’ve maned up and taken the fight he wasn’t offered.  But Rashad shouldn’t have mained up and gotten back to traning suner than l8rs.

  • iamphoenix says:

    It’s totally jones fault for being offered another fight while some guy is unable to fight until February maybe, which is two weeks away from december…

    and whooooo for shitting kittens i knew ryan loved cats too!!! we have so much in common, like air and eating food.

  • frickshun says:

    ^^Ewe to are write. Eye m rawng.

  • SST says:

    The only exciting Machida fight is when he’s getting KTFO.

  • James Stenbeck says:

    Rashad’s central problem is his size – or more accurately, his lack of size, which forces him to either be a “boring” fighter, or have a W-L record like that of Andy Wang or Ross Pointon, in which case he rather obviously would not be in the UFC.

    It also makes his fights unmarketable unless there is some artificially-created drama surrounding the fight, as in a feud with his opponent – like Rampage, and, if it indeed ever comes about, Jon Jones.

    Rashad really needs to ditch the Napoleon complex, and move down at least to middleweight – if not, indeed, to welterweight, where Josh Koscheck, who wrestled at the same weight class in his senior year in college as Rashad did (174), has carved out a pretty nice career for himself.

    And you realize that Rashad is actually only 5’9″, not 5’11” – he was listed at 5’9″ on the UFC web site while Season 2 of The Ultimate Fighter was airing (also note how Scott Jorgensen was listed at 5’4″ during his days in the WEC, then mysteriously became 5’6″ once the WEC was merged into the UFC).

    Then Rashad can stand and trade like 99.9% of the fan base wants to see MMA fighters do, and people won’t be calling him a douche like the first commentor on this thread has. It will also give him greater job security if he ever goes into a slump, as Dan Hardy – an “exciting” fighter by anyone’s definition – has done; and not for nothing, note how Hardy, a 6’0″ welterweight, was not cut by the UFC despite losing four in a row, while John Howard, a 5’7″ fighter in the same weight class, was cut after he lost three straight.

  • iamphoenix says:


  • James Stenbeck says:

    If Rashad fights Forrest Griffin in the meantime (who else is free?) – and Forrest pays him back for showing him up the way he did with that Roseanne Barr move in the second round at UFC 92 – it will actually be the best thing that ever happened to Rashad; then he can move down to 185 where he belongs, and he’ll avoid the train wreck that will surely occur if he does have to fight Jones, not only in that fight itself, but long afterwards.

    Remember Jens Pulver crying in the cage following each of his six straight losses after he lost his big grudge match to BJ Penn? That’s Rashad, if he does end up having to fight Jones, who will dispatch him much the same way Anderson Silva dispatched Forrest, after which Rashad will probably run out of the ring just like Forrest did.