When MMA Fighting wrote an article called ‘Will Randy Couture Fight Again?’, I figured it was slow news week speculation on stuff that was nowhere near settled – throw that shit on the pile next to all those ‘Is Jon Fitch Moving Up to Middleweight?’ posts and that truckload of promises Strikeforce is making about how awesome their heavyweight division will be in 2011. Here’s the initial deets on Randy maybe not fighting any more even though he probably will:
“It’s possible,” Spira said. “I’d say right now it’s a toss-up. If something came up that was interesting, he would fight irrespective of whether he got a meaningful Hollywood role. But there’s other stuff for him to do that’s MMA-related. I think many would be surprised at some of the things we are working on. So he doesn’t have to be actively fighting in the ring to remain active. Is it possible he may not fight again? Yeah, it’s possible. I’d say it’s a toss-up.”
Holy shit, stop the presses. It’s a toss up! And what a shocker it is that a 47 year old is starting to think about moving away from the arena of … fighting in an arena, and moving on to movies where there’s less chance of shattering a hip? To add fuel to the fire, we now have a radio interview where Randy admits he’s aging like a normal human being and acting is probably the key to making sure his subscription to Ivory Back Scratchers Monthly stays filled until he dies at 102.
Fortunately for us, Randy Couture sucks at acting. Lest you’ve already forgotten his historically questionable abortion of a role as Sumerian overlord Sargon in Scorpion King 2, think about that single interaction with Sly Stallone Randy got at the beginning of the Expendables. It was like a secret message from the director explaining why Randy was kept in the background for the rest of the film.
That’s probably a big part of why he states in the above video that he’s been on the hunt for another decent role but nothing has panned out. Randy still thinks he’s breaking mainstream when it probably ain’t gonna get much better than small roles in military courtroom shows on CBS.
Meanwhile, the UFC will be whipping fastballs at Randy every four months, asking if he wants to make a million bucks or two to fight Crocop’s ghost. Considering “I’m looking for new and interesting opportunities” in Randy speak can translate into “I’m willing to host the MMA Awards on Versus”, I have no doubt Zuffa will be able to put together a sweet enough carrot to dangle in front of him to get him back into the cage sooner rather than later. Here, host our new series of one hour advertisements on SpikeTV, Randy! Now fight Jon Jones.