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Quick update

Okay, you all might be wondering what the fuck is up with no updates yesterday or today. I’m sure at this point you’re all pretty sick of hearing about my ass problems but it looks like they’ve taken a more serious turn. Results from a test taken on Thursday have come back and I’m going into the hospital in about an hour to get a colonoscopy, which is basically where they jam a gigantic rod up my ass to look for cancer.

While nothing is for sure right now, the news is certainly a bummer. I’ve basically been sitting around feeling pretty crappy, and not even the UFC Fight Night prelim fights could cheer me up. I’ve tried writing a few articles but they’ve all sucked so I’m just going to take the day off and deal with this shit so I can come back tomorrow refocused and actually give a crap about what’s going on in MMA.

  • Anonymous says:

    Take care, friend. Here’s hoping for the best.

  • Omomatta says:

    You said bummer, deal with this shit, give a crap! Good luck though……..hope your ass feels better.

  • kentyman says:

    Honestly, take your time. We’ll listen to The Low Blow or find something else to occupy our time with (like, heaven forbid, our jobs).

    Get better.

  • Asa says:

    Hope you feel better, man.

  • I know you have your plate full, and if you need anything, be sure to let me know.

    Keep your spirits up, and be positive. I’ve had some medical issues myself, and that definately helps. Try to keep your mind off of things, do stuff that makes you happy, like watching mma, and it will make a difference.

    Good luck, and get better soon! All us jackals are pulling for ya!

  • Dukes says:

    You will be sedated for the colonoscopy, most likely with Demerol or the equivalent. People often report feeling “enighlightened” when awaking, able to get in touch with feelings not normally accessible, finding answers to questions they’ve had for years.

    So, while waking up, can you see if you can find a reason why Fedor has not fought someone good in the last 35 years?

    Get better soon.

  • pauli says:

    good luck with your ass pole!

  • JoeRoganIsAnAss says:

    Here’s hoping it’s not cancer! Get well soon!

  • godzillad says:

    These are the wrong circumstances to get things inserted into your anus.

    Get well sir.

  • archer0545 says:

    Hurry up and get well, I need to be entertained!
    Seriously though, good luck, went through something very similar this summer…..except for the whole pole up the ass thing! Some guys have all the luck!
    Best wishes!

  • fightfan says:

    We will all be here when you get back. Take your time and get better. Wishing the best…….

    P.S. And the doctor finds that gerbil. Let me know

  • RoB says:

    luke cummo would be proud. Good luck man

  • Big D D says:


  • Zurich says:

    Ryan > ass problems, unless of course your ass is actually bigger than you, but based on the grape picture, I don’t think you have to worry about that.

  • ilostmydog says:

    My friend got to do a colonoscopy the other day, after only four months of med school. Be glad you don’t live in Alberta…

    Stay positive!

  • Fightlinker Jackal says:

    Hopefully its nothing serious! Keep us updated and best of luck!

  • Keep your head up….

  • I’ve actually had a few of these, since I have stomach probelms, and the stuff they use now is called “twilight sleep”. It’s a light form of anatesia (sp?). You’re awake and able to speak and follow commands but you won’t remember any of it. It’s kinda like sleep walking.

    The colonosocpy isn’t bad at all. It’s the pre-procedure laxatives to clean you out that are hell. Them themselves and their effects. It doesn’t help they make you drink like 2 gallons of the sour saltwater type shit.

    And thats probably more than you’ll ever want to know on that subject. Glad I could help ; )

  • RT says:

    Good luck Brother
    Get well soon……

  • MacDaddy says:

    Keep your sense of humour, ask lots of questions.

  • Mike_N says:

    Keep your head up, FL. Hopefully, it’s nothing but good news from here on in.

  • shanaconda says:

    best of luck brother
    chances are you won’t actually remember the procedure which is good, kind of like that typical post-KO, what happened?

  • intenso says:

    Good luck, Ryan. Hope everything works out.

  • holden636 says:

    Hope everything goes well. We’re all pulling for you.

  • frickshun says:

    May your ass burn brighter than a thoughsand suns. Wait, that’s not the right cliche. For every day your are out of commission, I shall maim a retarded person.

  • Swedish guy says:

    Here’s hoping you get better soon! Don’t you worry now, I bet it’s nothing!

  • kentyman says:

    chances are you won’t actually remember the procedure which is good, kind of like that typical post-KO, what happened?

    If you’re waking up from a KO and your ass hurts, you need tuck your chin better when you fight Rory Singer.

  • cheezeypoof says:

    We’re all pulling for you buddy! I hope everything turns out okay and that this incident makes it into the Weekly Comic! 😛

  • Tommy says:

    Just have Jake grab a flashlight and have him look up there for any cancer.

  • Make your health your first priority. Come back and keep us updated.

  • Amy says:

    Feel better, you are missed. I’m sure it’s just some benign colon polyps, totally normal and routine. And no acting up in the waiting room, the last people you want to piss off are the docs and nurses toying with your brown eye.

  • higgz says:

    praying for yer pooper.

  • dignan says:

    Wishing you well, and we will be here when you’re ready to get going again.

    Chances of ass cancer at your age are pretty limited…more likely a precautionary test and they’ll diagnose you with Ulcerative Colitis.

  • #1 jackal says:

    All smart ass comments aside.

    Good Luck and get feeling better

  • mjk11 says:

    Didnt think my first post/comment would be to tell you I hope your ass get better. Hope everything goes well so you can get back to making us all laugh. Appreciate all your hardwork that goes into the site here, visit everyday!

  • Márcio says:

    Here’s hoping for a speedy recovery. Lot’s of people left to make fun of and you’re the man to do it. Get well soon.

  • Geoffr0y says:

    I’m sure its nuthing man, I wouldn’t be worried. Then again… it’s not my ass looking to receive a “gigantic rod”. My condolences on your bum sex virgin-oscopy and best wishes for a speedy recovery.

  • MJC_123 says:

    Good luck man and all the best you know the laughter will be rolling again soon!

  • Brad says:

    Good luck, I hope you’re feeling better soon.

  • Wu Tang says:

    HOpe its not cancer…. That would be a huge downer… you ahve fans here, smile foo, if you dont then we jackals need to look at Sherdog’s sunday school for our MMA comedy.. And you know that Sherdog delivers with their awesomeness….. Not.

  • Archivist says:

    First things first, mate. Your health is more important than this here. We aint going anywhere … well, i know i aint anyway… So, take a break and come back when you feel better.

  • kentyman says:

    I know they’ve been doing a good enough job with shameless self-promotion and begging, but I’m feeling a little butt-pitty…

    While we’re waiting for Ryan’s return, I suggest joining the Fightlinker Army and becoming a true Jackal. Click the “join the fightlinker army” link at the bottom of the main page, or just go here:

    It’s just 10 toonies a year, and gives you… balls, I don’t care what it gives you. The man is shitting blood. And some cow-liver looking stuff, apparently.

    Feel some love and pay a little out of your wallets for this site, ’cause he’s literally paying out of his ass.

  • ajadoniz says:

    damn it. i thought i had found the perfect mma blog to go to but now you have to go ahead and get ass aids. thanks for nothing.

  • Zheroen says:

    Dude, just worry about your health right now and get better. Us Jackals can amuse ourselves via the forums you’ve so generously provided while you recuperate. And once you get better – eat your peas, silly Ryan.

  • Hope everything is OK. Modern medicine can do wonders. Get well mate.

  • green ear says:

    If you need an anal-transplant á la Terrence and Phillip, be sure to look for Jake as the donor.
    Seriously though. Get well soon, Ryan. Remember that Sweden loves you!

  • igorpunck says:

    Feel better brother, take your time.

  • andres says:

    Aye fucker get beter yer probally the only guy we won’t make fun of for gettin a colonoscapy haha good luck hope u don’t like it much laaaaate

  • DannyP72 says:

    Hope you’re ok fl. Don’t worry about the site and just make sure you’re healthy

  • operator says:

    Don’t worry about us get well. Hope it is nothing to worry about.

  • islandguy says:

    Take it easy Fightlicker. My experience with these things is not to jump to conclusions until you have all the information. So chill and don’t sweat it for now…

  • Good luck man. I’m hoping that you’ll get better really soon.

  • kentyman says:

    “Get well, get well soon, we wish you to get well!”

    Oh, what a stirring little anthem of wellness.

  • Kalak says:

    I really hope you´ll be OK soon.
    Best wishes.

  • Tertio says:

    Really hope everything is ok man.

    Keep us updated.

  • esther says:

    Best wishes for your health! What will you think of during your colonoscopy?

  • holy shit linker, when you are feeling better take a gander at Meltzers new article on NCAA champs in the UFC. Sounds awfully familiar huh? I’m completely flabergasted on this one.

  • kentyman says:

    Got a link, Amy?

  • spike64 says:

    Don’t sweat it man just put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye. All kidding aside keep
    a stiff upper lip dude we are all pulling for ya.

  • ^ check out the front page of MMA Junkie its splattered right up there.

    I’m actually debating doing a retalitory article of my own on wrestlers in MMA now after seeing that.

    Not only did he totally rip me off, but he did it badly. The article has a few very obvious factual wrongs and is very thin on any true kind of insight into the subject.
    For example, Mike Van Arsdale has been retired from MMA since his fight with Lindland in 2006.

    And insight? Johny Hendricks, one of the most dynamic wrestlers in NCAAs recent history, gets two sentences in the whole article. Which seems like nothing more than a vechicle to put over Brock Lesnar.

  • Toxie says:

    Just got home from work; get well soon man…

  • Michaelthebox says:

    Good luck dude.

  • Autoguy says:

    It’s a good thing you did 2 boys 1 cup before you have your coloscopy bag put in. Good luck man.

  • kentyman says:

    It’s a good thing you shaved your ass for 2b1c before you showed it to that teenybopper doctor.

  • jeff aka whaledog says:

    I’m hoping for the best for you. Take care and feel better soon.

  • Get well soon my man. Best of luck to my favorite fellow MMA fan from La Belle Province…

  • defranger says:

    It funny that it took ryan having ass cancer problems for everyone to post on here(including me really this is only like my third post) but its good to see how many loyal fans these two gay canadians have out there… this is a good community of people with a fucked up sence of humor like me, but anyway I hope you get better soon so you can fix the internet thing for my phone it sucks trying to read this stuff on my phone at work now.

  • Cyrus says:

    Hey, since everyone here’s being so cheery, I thought I’d play the devil’s advocate: go fuck yourself. Just joking, hope you end up well. But only because I’m selfish and like the site. If I didn’t like you or your site, I’d be like: mayn, fuck this fool. But I do. So, get better.

  • phismx152 says:

    May Jesus… go with you.

  • klown says:

    Feel better bro. See you in Montreal on April 19.
    PS: I’m the dude chanting, “GSP!”

  • RoB says:

    maybe some live blogging, or possibly even an ass cam streaming we can watch

  • Sauce says:

    You’ll get through this alright. You’re a touch cookie.

    Good luck.

  • Sauce says:

    or tough cookie … 😐

  • BJ Penn says:

    May the strength of the islands and King Kamehameha heal your colon, Ryan.

  • kentyman says:

    “I only want your colon be known as the best ever… is that too much to ask?”

  • catch says:

    Get well

  • PizzaChef says:

    Get well soon, mate.

  • Ryder says:

    Best of luck FL, all will be well…….we’re all pulling for you.

  • Roxy says:

    really? omg no;_;

    Feel better soon!!

  • Keep your head up, think positive and don’t let any of this get you down.

    You’ve proved time and time again that the Fightlinker Medicine for the MMA world is full of wit, wisdom and a point of view that far outweighs most ‘politically correct’ thinking.

    Now it’s time to apply your own medicine to this situation.

  • winklepicker says:

    Good luck. Rest up. Feel better.

  • Mike O says:

    RECTUM? damn near killed him.

  • May you be taking large shits very soon.

    Get well, man.

  • Ted Dibiase says:

    Good to you see you back… wish you a safe and healthy recover so you can get back to your old self.
    Although knowing you when you do get back to 100% I’ll make this preemptive strike: We in no way need to see any ass probe videos show up here. The grape pic and 2 guys 1 cup were enough homoerotic/anal fixated content for any site based (loosely?) on mma. All the best man.

  • Same test that Tim Silvia had. But you didn’t wear your belt over your johnny, did you?

    (yeah, demerol)