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Questing with Fitch Dragonborn!

Check it out: Jon Fitch is so gay for the Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim that he created a dedicated twitter account to geek out over the game. His character’s name is Fitch Dragonborn and he’s a level 47 dark elf. I had to resist the urge to punch myself and steal my own lunch money just saying that.

I don’t get all the hype over Skyrim. As far as I’m concerned, it’s just a bunch of living sex dolls sending you on endless fetch quests. The only fun I had was killing innocent people, stripping them down to their skivvies and then stacking them in giant sex piles. And you know what? You can’t even set the sex piles on fire. Interactive world my ass.

(via the Middle Easy)

19 COMMENTS
  • Reverend Clint says:

    skyrims fun… im about half done with it. My guys a nord named Ash

  • Letibleu says:

    What are you all talking about?I’m lost :(

  • Reverend Clint says:

    its a game for people over 5’5″

  • Reverend Clint says:

    Fisting with Bitch Dragonporn!

  • Monstrosity says:

    better than doing fetch quests for living sex dolls in real life.

    I play a Breton Conjurer who kind of looks like Alice Cooper from the 70s

  • Shibo says:

    I didn’t think it was possible for me to hate Jon Fitch more. Thanks, Ryan.

    I like the true confessions in the comments too. “I, too, am a fucking dork.”

  • subo says:

    This game is fucking amazing. 36 level Nord, but I imagine I’ll be creating more characters after this one.

  • Blackula Jonez says:

    I can kinda see why people are into this game, but I can’t see myself getting into it.

  • Reverend Clint says:

    its like gay sex… subo is level 36

  • subo says:

    The caves I had to brave were dark and damp

  • dick says:

    This is hilarious. The thing about the sex piles, that is.

    Poopoo Face, level 14 high elf mage, checking in… I would be a lot higher but I have a life.

  • iamphoenix says:

    ^no you don’t.

    I sold my XBOX, because I have a life.

  • Reverend Clint says:

    ha yeah im like level 15 or something… been playing cod this week

  • dick says:

    I have actually only had time to play it during downtime at work, haha. I got rid of my only game console a long time ago and the only movies I have time to watch anymore are pr0n.

  • glassjawsh says:

    stop trying to defend yourself for being a nerd, embrace that shit. I’ve put more than 60 hours into every final fantasy since IV (except for XI and XIV, because fuck XI and XIV) and I’ve paused every one since IX to have have sex. i have a stack of rpgs as tall as my dresser. and it hasnt impeded my pussy grabbing capabilities at all. some chicks love that you’re confident enough in you’re own awesomeness to not give a fuck if anyone thinks you’re cool or not.

  • frickshun says:

    I’ve never played any of this nonsense. Except for COD. That’s not nonsense. It’s man-business.

  • dulljake says:

    I’m level 40, and that was before the patch that fucked up the game. Can’t believe I nw have something in common with Fitch. Well, that and we both can’t finish anything. 

  • Shibo says:

    Holy shit, we finally hear from Jake, and it’s about a fucking video game? What the hell, dude?

  • CAP says:

    Level 40 carpet burns.

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