twitter google

Playboy wants Cris Cyborg

Playboy has gone pretty downhill lately – it’s recent covergirls have included boobjob holocaust survivor Tara Reid and Marge Simpson. The only time the magazine seems to sell well any more is when one of the WWE’s skanky pseudo-wresters is in there. Two of the best selling issues of the last decade were on account of Chyna, so I suppose it’s no surprise now that Playboy wants to duplicate that horrific success with none other than Cris ‘Cyborg’ Santos.

“Actually we are still talking, and I’m thinking about that possibility,” she said. “After all, only one man saw me naked in my entire life and I have to think deeply about that.”

Now I want to see Cyborg naked about as much as I wanted to see War Machine ejaculating. Which is to say I didn’t want to see it at all, but because it happened, I did end up seeing it. And it was just as gross as I thought it would be. So I really don’t want to go through a similar experience because the doctors said any more bleach poured in my eyes would most certainly blind me.

I don’t wanna be one of those people who constantly bags on Cyborg because she looka lika man. I think she’s a pretty badass fighter, and would rather concentrate on that. But this isn’t a discussion about fighting talent or skill, it’s about whether her showing off her eggs and bacon sounds like a good idea. No sir it does not.