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Pilot segment: Freakshow fights

(We were filming some random stuff for the pilot today and one of them was a rant on freakshow fights about MMA. Here’s the text of the rant I read.)

There seems to be a trend lately where athletes from other sports think they can hack it in Ultimate Fighting. Baseball has Jose Canseco, football has Herschel Walker, boxing James Toney, there’s no end to the number of dopes who think “Hey, I spent my entire life working my way up to the top of my particular sport. But MMA, no problem. Give me a few months.” And because mixed martial arts is a new sport that’ll dig up it’s dead grandmother and shoot her out of a catapult if it means good ratings, these bozos are actually getting shots by major promotions.

Imagine the NFL scheduling a game between the Baltimore Ravens and the cast of Jersey Shore during the regular season. Sure, it’d be entertaining seeing the Situation get sacked by Ray Lewis but it’d be the most shameful publicity stunt in the history of the sport. Yet it’s perfectly fine to have celebrities and other people of note dip their toes into ultimate fighting.

Here’s the problem: it takes at least a few years of dedication and training to get yourself even close to the level of a major league mixed martial arts fighter. Obviously, these celebrities aren’t willing to put that much time in. So what happens? The fight promoter has to bring in an equally terrible and inexperienced fighter to face the celebrity so the celebrity doesn’t get killed. So now we don’t even get to see the Ravens destroy the Jersey Shore douchebags, we have Jersey Shore facing Dixon Elementary’s co-ed grade five touch football club. Not only is it a crappy fight. It’s borderline fixed.

So next time someone tells you that freakshow fights help promote the sport and bring it more attention from the mainstream, let me ask you: is Jersey Shore versus some 11 year old girls really what we want to be showing them? Have a little faith in the actual sport of mixed martial arts, why don’t you?