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If you’ve been reading MMA news for the past year, then you’re familiar with the often mentioned but never materialized MMA movie “Never Submit”. Press release after press release after press release, but never anything to show for it. Well, other than the damn press releases. Anyways, guess what we have today? ANOTHER PRESS RELEASE!

This one is a bit different because now it’s a press release saying Imperia is being sued over this non-existant movie. I won’t bore you with the details, you can check it out yourself. At this point I think most people have come to the realization that even if this movie gets made it would be a total peice of shit.

If you’re having doubts about that just go and check out their website, which looks like it was made by a 6 year old / an autistic person / a team of autistic 6 year olds. Take your pick. But what can you expect from a company like Imperia, who’s biggest release was a movie about a six year old girl and her pet seal?

Well, it wouldn’t be if I didn’t report overblown and unproven information. If you’re more of a reputable news reader, you’ve probably heard that Drew Fickett has replaced Jeff Joslin at UFC73. What you probably haven’t heard is that a shirtless Fickett went on a drunken bender through his hotel after being eliminated from the ADCCs two weekends ago. Here are some tender morsels of goodness:

I’m not sure why, but one of the Brazilian fighters refused to shake his hand. Fickett did not react well. Moments later, hotel security was dragging him away, shirtless and howling. A person nearby asked if there was a camera crew around filming a reality show.

After the party had settled down, I decided to hit the sack and headed up to my room. The last thing I expected when the elevator doors opened on my floor was to find myself face-to-face with a shirtless, weeping Drew Fickett. Nevertheless, there I was and there was he, the fighter who had knocked out Josh Koscheck with a flying knee, Drew Fickett, shirtless and weeping.

As an extra precaution I took the liberty of calling the front desk. “Drew Fickett chased me into my room,” I said. “You might want to send someone up here.”

“We know,” the voice replied, sounding exasperated. “We’ve gotten three calls already about it. Security is on the way.”

Of course, this is all reported by some guy from, the closest thing MMA has to the National Enquirer (I prefer to consider myself the Weekly World News). So take it worth a grain of salt. I’ve been asking some media friends to ask Drew ‘what was up with your drunken rampage’, but none of those cowards have the balls to ask him.

Word from UFC Junkie is that the UFC has decided not to let Marcus Davis use his nickname “The Irish Handgrenade” at UFC72 in Belfast. Right now he’s being listed as “The Celtic Warrior”, which is about as lame as the UFC72 card he’s fighting on. So I thought perhaps we’d help Marcus out with his nickname problem. He’ll have to find someone else to help him out with his hopelessly mediocre fighting skills. We can’t solve all the world’s problems, you know!

  • Marcus “The Protestant Babyfucker” Davis
  • Marcus “The Imperial Asslicker” Davis
  • Marcus “The Cowardly Carbomber” Davis
  • Marcus “The Politically Motivated Assassin” Davis

Of course his nickname doesn’t have to be so needlessly divisive. There are plenty of nicknames Marcus could use to represent all of Ireland:

  • Marcus “Pot O’ Shit” Davis
  • Marcus “Fights like a Drunk” Davis
  • Marcus “The Laziest Immigrant” Davis
  • Marcus “Domestic Abuse” Davis
  • Marcus “Fairy Boy” Davis
  • Marcus “The Irish Alcoholic” Davis

Feel free to add your own in the comments.

The Axe Murderer hasn’t been having a great time lately. While no one can fault a dude for losing to Mirko Crocop, getting annihilated the way Wanderlei did kinda hurt his whole ‘indestructable’ reputation. And to add insult to injury, he then gets KTFO by Dan Henderson. It’s not so much that Wandy’s been losing, it’s that he’s been getting destroyed.

Well, the suck train has officially pulled into the station, and Silva hopes to get off by taking the rest of the year off to relax and hope the marbles in his skull settle down. It’s definately not a bad time to take a break – with the PRIDE/UFC deal possibly all fucked up, there’s not much going on at the moment anyways.

Just when I thought Karo Parisyan was going to take the win as most pompus egomaniac, Brandon Vera has come along and stolen the title. In a recent article, MMAWeekly asks who Vera wants to fight:

“Arlovski, Nogueira, CroCop-especially Chuck [Liddell]. I still want Chuck. I want to fight him before he’s tired of fighting. I want to fight him when he’s still in his prime and he’s still hungry and he’s still hitting people hard. I don’t want to fight him after he’s over the hump,” Vera said.

At least Karo has kicked some serious ass and has a right to call out the top fighters in his division. The only decent name Vera has beaten is Frank Mir, and even I kicked Frank Mir’s ass. He was begging for change out on the corner of 9th and I leaned forward like I was gonna give him some, then popped him in the fucking nose. I’m pretty sure it was Frank Mir … or maybe it was some out of shape bum. It’s so hard to tell the difference nowadays.

P.S. : Check out the size of Brandon’s nipples in this picture. They’re fucking TINY.

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