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Before leaving for the day I thought I’d share a retardo-hot picture of Gina Carano I found on the MA Fighting site. She looks so hot in this picture I would sacrifice my grandmother to the devil just to get my mits on dem tits. Oh my god, the devil has just appeared before me! Excuse me guys, I got some stuff to take care of…

Jon ‘Felch’ Fitch is rated the #8 welterweight fighter in the world. He’s also paid so poorly that he has to bus tables at a bar to make ends meet. Fitch isn’t the only one in the UFC having to work a second job to make ends meet. Frank Mir is a bouncer by night, and Elvis Sionsic has been known to turn tricks when he’s a bit low on rent money. But he doesn’t let you kiss him on the lips. That’s just too personal, baby.

(As a side note, my spell checker just impressed me by correcting my spelling for the word ‘felch’. What an awesome world we live in)

If you’ve been reading MMA news for the past year, then you’re familiar with the often mentioned but never materialized MMA movie “Never Submit”. Press release after press release after press release, but never anything to show for it. Well, other than the damn press releases. Anyways, guess what we have today? ANOTHER PRESS RELEASE!

This one is a bit different because now it’s a press release saying Imperia is being sued over this non-existant movie. I won’t bore you with the details, you can check it out yourself. At this point I think most people have come to the realization that even if this movie gets made it would be a total peice of shit.

If you’re having doubts about that just go and check out their website, which looks like it was made by a 6 year old / an autistic person / a team of autistic 6 year olds. Take your pick. But what can you expect from a company like Imperia, who’s biggest release was a movie about a six year old girl and her pet seal?

Well, it wouldn’t be if I didn’t report overblown and unproven information. If you’re more of a reputable news reader, you’ve probably heard that Drew Fickett has replaced Jeff Joslin at UFC73. What you probably haven’t heard is that a shirtless Fickett went on a drunken bender through his hotel after being eliminated from the ADCCs two weekends ago. Here are some tender morsels of goodness:

I’m not sure why, but one of the Brazilian fighters refused to shake his hand. Fickett did not react well. Moments later, hotel security was dragging him away, shirtless and howling. A person nearby asked if there was a camera crew around filming a reality show.

After the party had settled down, I decided to hit the sack and headed up to my room. The last thing I expected when the elevator doors opened on my floor was to find myself face-to-face with a shirtless, weeping Drew Fickett. Nevertheless, there I was and there was he, the fighter who had knocked out Josh Koscheck with a flying knee, Drew Fickett, shirtless and weeping.

As an extra precaution I took the liberty of calling the front desk. “Drew Fickett chased me into my room,” I said. “You might want to send someone up here.”

“We know,” the voice replied, sounding exasperated. “We’ve gotten three calls already about it. Security is on the way.”

Of course, this is all reported by some guy from, the closest thing MMA has to the National Enquirer (I prefer to consider myself the Weekly World News). So take it worth a grain of salt. I’ve been asking some media friends to ask Drew ‘what was up with your drunken rampage’, but none of those cowards have the balls to ask him.

Word from UFC Junkie is that the UFC has decided not to let Marcus Davis use his nickname “The Irish Handgrenade” at UFC72 in Belfast. Right now he’s being listed as “The Celtic Warrior”, which is about as lame as the UFC72 card he’s fighting on. So I thought perhaps we’d help Marcus out with his nickname problem. He’ll have to find someone else to help him out with his hopelessly mediocre fighting skills. We can’t solve all the world’s problems, you know!

  • Marcus “The Protestant Babyfucker” Davis
  • Marcus “The Imperial Asslicker” Davis
  • Marcus “The Cowardly Carbomber” Davis
  • Marcus “The Politically Motivated Assassin” Davis

Of course his nickname doesn’t have to be so needlessly divisive. There are plenty of nicknames Marcus could use to represent all of Ireland:

  • Marcus “Pot O’ Shit” Davis
  • Marcus “Fights like a Drunk” Davis
  • Marcus “The Laziest Immigrant” Davis
  • Marcus “Domestic Abuse” Davis
  • Marcus “Fairy Boy” Davis
  • Marcus “The Irish Alcoholic” Davis

Feel free to add your own in the comments.

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