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I know I don’t talk a lot about The Ultimate Fighter and that makes a lot of people sad. It’s just that I have a Journalistic Integrity to keep up and I don’t want to sully my golden reputation by talking about a stupid reality show. Regardless, as hard as I was laughing about K1’s current paperwork issues, this statement at the bottom of the Fight Network’s report on Dynamite troubles had me laughing even harder:

In addition, lightweight Javier Vasquez will not be competing on June 2’s card against intended opponent Katsuhiko Nagata. In his place, FEG officials submitted a request for none other than Gabe Ruediger, who has been under the microscope for his recent turn on “The Ultimate Fighter 5,” airing Thursdays on Spike TV. While it is probable Ruediger is still under contract with the UFC, the CSAC has already rejected the bout because Ruediger is listed as still under suspension in Nevada.

This just proves that K1’s regent Nobuaki Kakuda left his retarded son Jerry Kakuda in charge of sorting out Dynamite. Paperwork? Who needs to do that? A fighter pulled out? Lets get that guy who was kicked off The Ultimate Fighter. He’s not up to anything at the moment!

This is cutting edge news. A super duper exclusive scoop of someone else’s scoop: is reporting that there’s a ton of problems with K1’s Dynamite show. Last month the CSAC set a ton of requirements to throw the show and clear all of the fighters. Well, at this point one of the only fighters who has actually been cleared to fight is Brock Lesnar. And K1 hasn’t given the CSAC the required bond which covers the fighter’s pay in advance. You know, the tiny little details. Because of this, the Dynamite show has not been granted a license yet.

With only 10 days left till 22 fighters are supposed to step on the scales, promoters Fight Entertainment Group (FEG) have yet to be granted their requisite license by the California State Athletic Commission.

A CSAC representative says the hold-up has been FEG’s inability and hesitation to submit financial paperwork, requirements the state agency stipulates of all its applicants.

And here I thought the Gracie Fighting Championships would hold the title for the worst event planning of 2007. Of course, time isn’t out yet. However, these kinds of paperwork issues aren’t the sorts of things that can be ironed out quickly. If K1 doesn’t get it’s shit in high gear by the end of the week, the CSAC is likely to simply deny the show’s application because they haven’t met any of the required deadlines.

Not to be outdone by those bitches at ESPN Magazine, Sports Illustrated’s next issue features an in depth look at the UFC and it’s standing within the mainstream. The funny thing is that everyone was buzzing about Randy Couture being on the cover of SI, and now he gets beaten to the punch by … Roger Huerta? Huh? Wha? Who?

It is my sad duty to announce the demise of a dear friend. Evan Tanner’s beard was found shaved on May 22nd, 2007. All that was left was the stubble of a 5 o’clock shadow. Police are ignoring my calls for justice. I turn to the internet to voice my anguish.

On with the Evan Tanner crazy train: apparently Tanner has a sidekick named Garth (seriously), and they’ve made their way to Las Vegas:

We’ve both gotten very little sleep since we arrived. The house has two bedrooms and both are occupied. I’ve been sleeping on part of the couch and Garth has been sleeping in the backyard.

Not covered in the blog is the newest news from Chute Boxe USA where they report Tanner as back in the fold:

– Evan Tanner is back in Los Angeles with Coach Roberto Piccinini. He is determined to take back the UFC title from Anderson Silva and will be fighting under the Chute Boxe USA banner.

The big question here at is who the fuck drank my grape soda. The other big question is if Zuffa would pad the UFC 72 card now that it’s on PPV instead of Spike TV. Looks like the answer is in: Chute Boxe USA announced today that Mauricio “Shogun” Rua has signed with the UFC and will probably fight on the Ireland card. The new big question is why the fuck would someone take my grape soda? It’s not like they don’t know it’s mine ’cause I wrote my fucking name on the fucking bottle. As well, will they just feed Shogun an inexperienced fighter or will they put him up against someone serious?

The interwebs are abuzz with speculation on who will face Shogun. My bet is it will be either Jason Lambert or Renato ‘Babalu’ Sobral. Logic would say Sobral is the best choice because Sobral actually tooled Shogun the last time they fought. This was also Shogun’s last real loss, ignoring the time his arm cracked in half during a bout with Mark Coleman (TKO by not enough milk). However, Joe Silva is a retard, so Lambert is also a very real possibility since Lambert beat Sobral at UFC65.

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