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From his latest TUF journal:

I think Dan is simply out of control. Kind of like a toddler on high amounts of sugar, just running around with reckless abandon, unaware of other people’s testicles.

There’s many more nuggets of gold where that came from. Mac needs to give up on Ultimate Fighting and just come write for Fightlinker.

Sean Salmon was on MMAJunkie today to announce a fight against Jason Mayhem Miller (bad idea) and his desire to fight Cung Le (good idea). The ‘Rashad Evans High Kick Incident’ aside, Salmon has shown himself to be better at dealing with strikers than with submission experts. And for all his goofiness, Jason Miller’s got some pretty impressive sub skills. In his WEC fight against Hiromitsu Miura, he put on a jiu-jitsu clinic which included ” target=”_blank”>the uber-rare ‘banana split’, which really deserves a slightly less gay name. How do you say banana split in portugeese? That typically adds 50 cool points.

Simply put, Sean Salmon has a hard enough time protecting his neck, let alone the 50+ other parts of his body which Mayhem Miller is gonna be attacking for a quick submission. I’d be amazed if Salmon makes it out of the first round. In fact, I’d be amazed if this bout wasn’t Guy Mezger’s way of paying Salmon back for breaching contract last time.

Now a fight with Cung Le would definitely be good for Salmon. Le is still acclimatizing to MMA, and a strong wrestler who’s actually willing to take Le to the ground probably wouldn’t have a hard time pounding him out. Salmon knows this … but Strikeforce knows this too, and there’s no way they’re gonna let this fight happen. So don’t get your hopes up.


Retardo narcissism aside, I gotta respect Dan Barrera. Half the fighters on TUF quit the second shit gets hairy or they hear about something from the outside world. But not Dan Barrerra. This motherfucker gets a call from his wife where she’s being a crazy bitch and he’s all like “Whatever you crazy bitch, see you when the show’s over!”

Apparently his vows should have been modified from “Through sickness and in health” to “Through sickness, health, and TUF tapings”.

Sure, his actions may seems pretty harsh, but this is real life for Dan … he doesn’t disappear when the show is over, and neither do his bills. If he’d fucked off to deal with his crazy wife, it would have been game over for his dreams of ever fighting in the UFC. That leads to some serious resentment issues, which lead to divorce, which lead to more resentment, which leads to drinking, which leads to sinking your boat and starting a support group.

Past that, to take a beating from Matt Hughes and then get fucked over on the decision … Dan should consider finding a new deity because whoever he’s praying too doesn’t seem to be taking great care of him. The one positive thing about this is you know he’s gonna be featured prominently in the finale. If Ben Saunders flunks out of the semi-finals I wouldn’t be surprised if the rematch-crazy UFC sets up a second match between the two for the finale.

MMAWeekly has a pretty solid article breaking down the positions of both Randy Couture and the UFC. Here’s what they have to say for the UFC, based on a general contract they swindled from somewhere:

“If at any time during the Term, Fighter decides to retire from mixed martial arts or other professional fighting competition, then ZUFFA may, at its election, (i) suspend the Term for the period of such retirement; (ii) declare that ZUFFA has satisfied its obligation to promote all future Bouts to be promoted by ZUFFA hereunder, without any compensation due to Fighter therefore; or (iii) elect to provide Fighter with notice of an Acceleration.”

Based on White’s repeated public statements, it is clear that the UFC is interpreting Couture’s statement of resignation as retirement. Taken in the context of the above provision, this explains why White continues to state that the UFC has nine months remaining on Couture’s contract as Zuffa has elected to “suspend” or stay the term of his contract.

Further, the use of the term resignation in describing a person’s choice to not perform under a contract is unique. Typically, when a person decides to not perform pursuant to the terms of a contract, the person is considered to be in “breach of the contract,” not resigning from the contract.

This is interesting because I originally assumed Dana White was being a douche by using the word ‘retirement’ when talking about Randy. Turns out they were sending a very clear message: look at your retirement clause, you ain’t going nowhere, bitch.

Past that point, you can’t really argue with the fact that a person can’t ‘resign’ from a contract. However, the flip side of the coin in this scenario is equally interesting:

However, when a party allegedly breaches a contract, he/she is able to argue facts that justify and validate why he/she breached the contract, which can/may excuse them from performing under the contract. This may be why Couture is saying he is “resigning” from Zuffa as he is claiming that the UFC failed to perform its obligations by not acting in good faith and for its alleged misrepresentation about his pay scale.

As there are countless treatises on the subjects of personal services agreements, the right to earn a living (Couture fighting elsewhere) and involuntary servitude (the 13th Amendment; Slavery – forcing Couture to fight for the UFC), this is definitely a fight for the attorneys to wrangle about in court.

I suppose the best chance Couture has of wrangling his way out of his UFC contract is to prove misrepresentation about his pay scale. But I’ve said it before: his contract came with a pretty plum PPV cut, and while other fighters may have made more than him on individual fights, I would be shocked if Randy’s overall contract wasn’t #2 like Dana said. However, you might notice that when ESPN asked Dana if Randy was the 2nd highest paid fighter, he dodged the question. Iiiiiinteresting.

Last but not least, I’d be shocked if the Slavery amendment in the constitution came in handy for a rich white guy. Of course, what laws in America *don’t* benefit rich white guys? I just find it hilarious that of all the cases where you could cite the 13th amendment, it would be for Randy Couture. Classic.

  • 38 yen
  • 8 rubles
  • 4 pesos
  • 1 IFL stock

*UPDATE* We originally had the topic as “Things to do with .38 cents” … of course, that technically means .0038 dollars. And while IFL stock will probably get there soon enough, it’s not there yet. Beware this kind of mistake when signing up for cell phone packages.

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