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Randy Couture must really have been serious when he said he wasn’t getting paid enough by the UFC because he’s now offering to give a hummer to whoever will pay him the most for it. It’s a sad day when one of the greatest fighters in UFC history is reduced to licking someone’s anus for money.

Here’s some news and notes regarding the weekend on shows I don’t care enough to post specific blog entries on:

Murilo Bustamante ran over Antonio Rogerio Nogueira like a truck at the MTL team finals … his team beat his former student’s team 4-1. This wasn’t the first truck to run over Nogueira, but I bet the last one wasn’t driven by his former coach. Murilo was humble in victory, saying “You eat that you fucking bitch of mothers! Brazilian Top Team pissed in you Black House. How it is sweet! I’m fucked you good!”

Miguel Cotto beat Shane Mosley in a pretty dull fight. I thought Mosley was doing pretty good in the first round and then they showed him in the corner looking like he was in round 8 and I knew things would go downhill from there. Mosley’s retarded dad kept telling him to “Go out there and have some fun!”, perhaps the most technical cornering advice I’ve ever heard in my life.

Josh Haynes got knocked out in the third round of an XFC show on Saturday. No word yet on what reality show he’ll run off to this time. Word is this was a slugfest and Haynes took another brutal beating. If only he would start winning, he could be like the American Sakuraba!

Brad Imes fought on Saturday but it must have been in some weird alternate dimension because the results don’t exist anywhere on the net. It’s pretty strange that you can get live play by play on Korean MMA but you’re fucked if you wanna find out what happened on Saturday in California.

And finally it was a bad night for gaijin as Joachim Hansen and Antonio Carvalho both lost their fights at Shooto Back to our Roots 6. Don’t worry though, nuthuggers will continue to rank Hansen above everyone in the UFC lightweight division no matter how many times he loses.

A lot of people are feeling kinda bad for Mike Pyle right now because he’s basically been labeled a sexist jerk. I’d like to point out that he’s probably not sexist or a jerk … he’s just a moron. Let’s take a look at all the stupid things he’s done that have led up to him being stupid as far as we’re concerned:

  • Stupid Mike Pyle move #1 : Turning down a chance to fight for the EliteXC belt
  • Stupid Mike Pyle move #2 : Refusing to resign with the company that gave you a title shot
  • Stupid Mike Pyle move #3 : Calling yourself top tier talent after washing out of the IFL.
  • Stupid Mike Pyle move #4 : Saying you’re insulted that your fight is ‘under’ a women’s MMA bout.
  • Stupid Mike Pyle move #5 : Losing like a bitch in the first round after claiming you’re a fucking superstar.

In the end, Mike Pyle could have handled this entire situation differently. There’s no worse time to declare you’re ‘the man’ than before a fight with someone as dangerous as Jake Shields. Because then when you lose, people say you’re full of shit. It doesn’t matter how hardcore the guy you lost to is (and Jake is pretty fucking hardcore) – you still end up looking dumb.

Is there any better way to start the day than to be reminded of how little talent you have? Normally I leave that up to my girlfriend or my mother, but this morning I was reminded by reader ‘scritch’, who sent me some awesome drawings he did based on this weekend’s EliteXC show. Go check out his art blog, it’s worth digging through if you want to realize how bad you are at art compared to him.

1. Who the fuck is that goofball with the pink hair putting hats on all the fighter’s heads?

2. What the fuck is up with Gary Shaw and his ridiculous tracksuits? He comes into the ring after every fight looking like a big fat goodfella, giving people pats on the back with his heavily ringed hands and kissing them on the cheek. Mama mia!

3. How the fuck is DJ Hapa still involved with the company after everything he cocked up at K1 Dynamite? Sure, they were a bit smarter this time and took away his mic, but by the end of the show I was seeing red every time he’d do some turntable scratching over the post-fight interview. Someone needs to smash this fucker’s fingers with a sledgehammer.

4. And what’s with the hoochie dance squad? Hey, I like women just as much as guys like Vin Diesel or Jake Gyllenhaal. But come on! I’m embarrassed to watch a show that features these talentless hacks flop around the stage like Britney at the VMAs. I have a feeling $kala talent scouted these chicks using youtube booty shake videos.

5. I’d just like to point out to anyone who said Goldberg was getting better: he’s not. He was absolutely terrible throughout the entire show. If he wasn’t mocking the winning fighters, he was pissing off the crowd. I have no idea how he ever made it as a popular pro wrestler … the guy’s got less charisma than a cockroach.

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