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Fightlinker is proud to announce the formation of the MMA world’s second-ever sanctioning body, setting the stage for us to make lots of money off other people’s work!

“Assholes Making Money off Mixed Martial Arts”, or AMMOMMA, will do absolutely nothing that isn’t already done by athletic commissions, and in many cases we will actually do less! We will establish a set of unified rules based on the Unified Rules, ensure fighter safety by following the same standards already in place, and ‘sanction world championship bouts’. And by sanction, I mean sell the rights to the highest bidder.

AMMOMMA has strong ties to the fight industry, led by the highly respected Fightlinker staff and the rotting corpse of Ravishing Rick Rude. With these connections, AMMOMMA will create THE ULTIMATE TOP TEN LIST by doing an unprecedented poll on both the Underground AND Sherdog forums to see who is really #1 around the world. Well known Sherdog user “GraciezNuts” will be our lead forum pollster.

Remember to show up at our press conference next Wednesday which will feature a FREE STEAK DINNER and some fat boxing guys!

Dana White sounded sick when he talked to Steve Cofield today about the current Randy situation. Or perhaps he was just wearing nose plugs … he is after all in New Jersey. Anyways, some interesting things were said but here’s the kicker:

“We’re gonna meet next Tuesday and have dinner. I gotta know what the end game is … if he’s going somewhere else … did someone like Cuban or one of the other goofballs offer him some obscene amount of money? And I don’t think anyone’s offered him offers to fight because he’s under contract to fight for me. But he could retire and go work for somebody else. Is that the end game? That’s the only end game that makes sense to me?”

There’s already been rumors swirling around that Mark Cuban has poached Randy for a management position with HDNet. As Dana said, this is definitely the most likely scenario. Sure, I’d love Randy to come back and say “OMG Dana I luv u lets get it on!”, it’s not fucking likely.

The problem with dumb rich fucks getting involved in the sport of MMA is they take guys like Randy and Fedor and just buy em out and stuff em into positions where no one gets to see them do what we want to see them do. Do I wanna see Randy Couture in a suit trying to sell me shitty HDNet cards? Am I interested in seeing Fedor fight Pedro Rizzo? Fuck no.

But these rich fuckers don’t have to play by the rules other fiscally responsible companies do. They’re free to do stupid things for no other reason than it strokes their ego to do it. If Mark Cuban is planning on growing slowly as he’s said many times before, does that mean we have to watch Randy Couture spend the last few competitive years of his MMA life hawking amateur Texas MMA? Goddamn it that would suck some gigantic testicles.

I know I’ve been jerking you guys around with fake Fedor news lately (or was it fake!?!? YOU DECIDE!). But take a look at this, and YES … it is real:

The first M-1 Global event will take place in Japan, Saitama Super Arena on December, 31!

No one other than four times Pride Heavyweight Champion Fedor Emelianenko will fight in the main event.

Sure, there’s millions of questions that need to be asked … how smart is it to throw together an event last second in Japan? How are these guys planning on pulling this off when they haven’t managed to get anything substantial off the ground in America? But honestly, this news has tapped into the eager beaver fight fan in me: Who the fuck cares about the business side! More fights! Fedor fights! Oh happy happy joy joy!

Let’s ignore the number of New Year events in Japan that have gone down in flames and destroyed promotions and careers! Lets not question which shady individuals will be running things behind the scene. And let’s hold our breath in the hopes that the rest of the lineup will look like a cross between a Bodog and HDNet card.

For now, and for one time only, I’m going to give M-1 the benefit of the doubt and say “I hope this is going to be something really good”.

Okay, something is fucking up. When I start sounding more like Dog the Bounty Hunter than Fightlinker, I know there’s a problem. And no, this isn’t just related to one post … I’ve felt fuckered for the past day and a half. If it wasn’t for videos of Mike Pyle making an ass of himself and some chick kicking fat dudes in the belly, yesterday would have been a complete wash as well.

I’ve got 10 blog articles sitting here in front of me, and they all fucking suck. Time to go to a Tibetan monastery for the afternoon and meditate. I’ve lost my inner asshole and must find him again.

**UPDATE** Mojo found!

Sure, we all saw this last year when it first came out. But it’s still worth a smile on a cloudy day, right?

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