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Eugh, I feel so dirty. Not minutes after I talked about the IFL being dumb for competing with the UFC over Feb 29 / March 1st weekend, I stumbled upon a Kevin Iole article where he said the same fucking thing. Agreeing with Kevin certainly makes me feel very strange, although I suppose considering the amount of garbage we both spew it was bound to happen sooner or later.

To cleanse my palate of this situation, I’ve decided to take something else he wrote about in his article and shit on it. One of his readers was asking about the idea of MMA as an Olympic sport and Kevin said ‘it was an idea that made sense’. LOL HES SO STUPID!!!11

I would really like to know exactly how in hell MMA would work at the Olympics. God knows they totally vagina-cized boxing, turning it into four 2 minute rounds with opponents wearing gigantor sparring helmets. If the people running the Olympics think boxing is too brutal, I can’t even imagine how they would react to MMA.

Better to just try and get submission grappling or something in there, or how about actually paying attention to the disciplines of MMA already included, like wrestling or Judo? Wha? Huh? You’ve never checked that out? Yeah, I forgot that no one actually cares about the Olympics any more.

Bonus Factual Error by Kevin: Kevin claimed “The number one sticking point for Fedor was money. Secondarily, he wanted to compete in the World Sambo Championship and the UFC didn’t want to allow it.” Of course, anyone who isn’t a shit for brains UFC lackey knows that the UFC was offering the most money, but their contract was brutally restrictive and had clauses which forced Fedor to renew his contract indefinitely if he was champion, plus allowed the UFC to dump him at any time for any reason. In short, it was the “Bend over and take it like a bitch” contract, not money.

Super bonus shill points go to whoever sent in this ‘question’ to Iole’s mailbag:

Kevin, I just wanted to rave about your articles. I love how they are crisp and flow the way they do. I’m a huge fan of MMA (since the mid-90’s) and read everything I can get my hands on. Your work is probably the best on the subject. We just seem to get a little more info in your articles than with other writers on the subject. Your last story “Always a Fighter” with Wanderlei Silva was great.

I wish I could say I was the one who wrote this and it was all a big joke to celebrate Opposite Day, where you say the exact opposite of whatever you really mean to say. But alas, I have to hope some other trickster beat me to the punch. Otherwise let this be proof that the human race is getting dumber.

Oh shit, our IFL quota has already gone over but we’re still talking about it! Red alert red alert! But I can’t help it … I love pointing out when the IFL shoots itself in the foot. Sure, it’ll probably cost us about $26 worth of banner advertising from them down the road and a surly email from Kurt Otto sooner or later stating he doesn’t enjoy being called a cockface, but whaddevah. We’re not in this to make money … well, I guess that’s the eventual plan. Hmmm. Fuck.

Back to the IFL shooting itself in the foot. As I’ve said before, IFL news seems to work in a good news / bad news fashion. For example, the good news is XTreme Couture will be participating at the next IFL event. The bad news is that Shawn Tompkins is manning the team, instead of that other guy who has something or other to do with XTreme Couture. What was his name again? It’s on the tip of my tongue. It’s too bad he’s not involved because I hear he’s pretty popular or something.

The newest edition of Good News / Bad News comes in the form of the IFL’s next event, which features XTreme Couture, Top Team, and three belt defences. Not too shabby, and like I said it seems like the IFL has tricked me into watching yet another of their shows. But I’ll probably be one of the few since the event is going to be brutally overshadowed by UFC81, which is the next fucking day.

I don’t understand what the hell is going on in the pea brains of the IFL executives. They did the same fucking thing with their finals, putting it on the same night as UFC79. I’m sure someone kinda thought about that one for a few minutes then decided ‘Blargh, we can just do it like a lead in! Besides, I’ve already got the date printed on all these lame team jerseys!’

Anyways, I’m just saying the IFL ain’t making things any easier for itself. Oh, and Kurt Otto is a cockface.

I remember one thing that annoyed me about HDNet Fights Reckless Abandon (besides the homo name and all the gay ‘come hither’ eye closeup shit) was that they tried to get Tim Kennedy to ham it up during the promo for his fight with Mayhem Miller. They’d show Mayhem cracking jokes and then tried to have Kennedy play some kinda comedic straight guy role. At the end he stuck out his tongue and said “My prediction is for a ridiculously hilarious fight where we will both be laughing between every round.” Honk.

Let me tell you something: no one wants any humor in their fucking MMA. I certainly don’t … MMA is a serious sport and should be dealt with as such! Sure, I loves me some good times outside the octagon but the second the bell rings I don’t want any laughs or hugs or high fives. It’s time to kick that fucker’s teeth in. Certain acts of cruel hilarity like Randy Couture spanking Tito, Frank Shamrock doing the ‘time for bed’ motion, etc will be permitted. But come on … hammy buddy buddy shit should be verboten

Anyways, the point of this post was supposed to be about a video Tim Kennedy did for the IFL where he displays the ‘Tiger Claw’ fighting move. Apparently the IFL thought it would be entertaining television to film MMA fighters showing different moves. Thank Jesus Tim decided to spice it up a little bit, because otherwise it would have been terrible. Okay, so maybe this post was just an excuse to bring up how gay the whole sensual eye cam was, and how not funny Tim was during Reckless Abandon. Do these posts really need to make any kind of real sense? Can’t I just say dick fart shit haha homo fags and call it a day?

Holy shit, I’m so fucking excited. You all know I’m a Shamrock nuthugger through and through, so could there be any bigger news than the possibility that Frank vs Ken Shamrock has been locked up??? I was following this story as it evolved all day yesterday but didn’t want to comment on it because my brain was malfunctioning and all I could do was make impressively uneducated comments about Japanese fighters I knew nothing about. But now I’m back in true form, and it’s time to break out the party hats, because I’m pretty sure this shit is set up.

Why all the ambiguity? Because rather than a big press release or something that would actually help sell the event, word has slipped out through a shoddy looking webpage called Basically the only thing they’ve got up is a little flash intro showing the two brothers and then a whole bunch of blood splatters (which of course is the classy way to advertise siblings competing – fucking BLOODBATH, BITCHES!).

There’s a counter down at the bottom that keeps changing … first off, it was setting the fight date sometime in April (and boy, when it said that I was all a jubbles with anticipation). But now the clock has been changed to a much less exciting 350 days. Which seems awful far away to me.

I mean look at it like this … that’s practically a year. Who knows what can happen in that time! Frank Shamrock’s leg could be ripped off by Sokoudjou again. And the alien life force on Ken’s face that is masquerading as a beard could envelop Ken’s entire head by then. And where would that leave us??? With no fucking fight, that’s where!

‘But Fightlinker’, you say. ‘Why should we even believe that this is a legit site?’ Well, for one thing it points back to MMAE, which is a company owned by Frank Shamrock. Plus, the shitty flash is right up Frank’s webdesigner’s alley. If you don’t believe me, check out Frank’s academy website where he uses his laser eyeball to forge his fruity signature across the bottom of the screen.

I dunno if it’s just lowered expectations for Ultimate Fight Nights, but the UFC continues to excite me with the matchups they stuff on the free Spike shows:

Lightweights Spencer Fisher (20-4) and Marcus Aurelio (15-5) will fight on the UFC Fight Night card set for April 2, according to

The SpikeTV special is set to return to Colorado for the first time since 1995, according to the report and a recent Web site update from Stephan Bonnar right here.

Of course, the “American Psycho” is penciled in to take on Matt Hamill that same night in a light heavyweight tilt. In addition, 155-pounders Kenny Florian and Joe Lauzon are expected to headline the show.

Fisher got outwrestled like a bitch by Frankie Edgar the last time he fought, so it’ll be really interesting to see how he holds up against a top tier jiu-jitsu guy. As for Aurelio, he’s still trying to make people forget about his stinker of a loss to Clay Guida where he looked absolutely lost. He finished his last fight against Luke Caudillo quick n easy, so this will be an interesting one. Will Fisher bounce back after that brutal loss? Will Aurelio wash out like so many of his Pride compatriots? Good matches are all about answering questions, and this one will answer tons for these two guys.

Add the always improving Stephan Bonnar vs Matt “the Swinging Hammer” Hamill and K-Flo vs J-Lau for the Gayest Nickname Championship, and you got yourself a hell of a card!

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