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Before today, I’d have stuck to the above statement: James Thompson IS entertaining. But only in a ring or cage, because he tends to do stupid things that end with him either winning or losing in spectacular fashion. He trademarked a particular style which became known as ‘GONG AND DASH’, where he’d just tackle the guy and swing for the fences.

Of course, that resulted in him losing a whole bunch of fights he probably should have won. I attributed his retarded style to … well, retardation. He’s got a look in his eyes sometimes like he belongs in remedial elementary school, not a ring. But it turns out that he just wasn’t very well trained, and he’s the first person to admit it. In fact, he’s the first person to admit a whole bunch of funny shit about himself. And if there’s one thing you can do to get in the good graces of the boys at Fightlinker, it’s to not take yourself too seriously.

Check out this interview with James Thompson where he goes over why he used to Gong and Dash, how he used to fight gypsies across the UK, and his opinion on father’s rights in the UK. It’s a surprisingly good article with lots of laughs. I am now officially a fan of James Thompson the man, not just James Thompson’s spectacular wins and losses like before.

Last night, the Swick/Burkman snoozefest went to a decision, and something seemed a bit odd about the scorecards: 29-28, 29-28, 29-29 in favor of Mike Swick. In other words, two judges gave it to Mike and one called it a draw.

A draw??? Here I was thinking the 10-point must system didn’t allow for tie rounds, but it turns out judges CAN score 10-10 rounds. They just rarely do.

I’m not going to say I disagree with the call … in fact, if there was ever a fight that deserved to be called a tie, then it was Swick vs Burkman. I’m just still in shock at the realization that for the past several years of my life I had no idea what the actual rules regarding this were.

I’m torn, though. On one hand, a lot of rounds in MMA truly do deserve to be called ties, but it opens a huge can of worms: no one wants to see a tie. And if all of a sudden the judging at UFC Fight Night reminds other judges they can just pass the buck and declare a tie on close fights, I have a feeling we’re gonna see a lot more.

(More K1 Girl goodness from MMA in Japan)

Shawn Bias will live to fight another day
After getting tasered and possibly beaten by the police, PFC featherweight champion Shawn Bias was given a 30% chance to live. Fortunately it looks like he passed his savings throw vs police brutality. He awoke from his coma today and spoke to friends and family. No word on how long till the police come back and throw him in jail for having the nerve to survive their assault.

Tim Boetsch steps in to fight David Heath at UFC81
The last time anyone saw Tim Boetsch, he was getting laid on for three rounds by the IFL’s light heavyweight blanket champion, Vladimir Matyushenko. Other than that, the guy’s got six wins against random lower league scum. However, I’ve never been all that hot on David Heath so who knows who’ll win this fight.

Frank Mir’s 100% dedicated to his fight
According to random unverified sources, Frank Mir is still working at a bar bouncing on the side. Nice to know former heavyweight champions and current headliners for PPV main events have to fucking BOUNCE to make ends meet.

Josh Barnett vs Aleks E?
No one else is touching this story with a 10 foot pole, mainly because it’s a strange source with a big MAYBE attached. But I’ve learned never to doubt shit that’s posted on, so here you go: M1 is trying to set up Josh Barnett vs Fedor’s little brother for the M1 USA show.

Diego Sanchez gets a Swede opponent
Roan Carniero is out and David Bielkheden is in. Sorry to all our loyal Swedish readers, but the best you can hope for is that David doesn’t go down like a bitch like Tomas Drwal did.

Karo tries to redefine the meaning of ‘ducking a fight’
Karo Parisyan tries to explain why he ducked Jon Fitch while at the same time trying to deny that he ducked Jon Fitch. It’s the MMA equivilant of “Ceci N’est Pas Une Pipe”

Chael Sonnen to return in March
The WEC is booking Chael Sonnen to fight against Nissen Osterneck sometime in March. Note to Chael: here’s where you should be grateful to the ref for saving your arm in the Filho fight. Otherwise we wouldn’t be seeing you again till 2009.

Bas Rutten now does something else for the IFL
The IFL has named Bas Rutten “Vice President of Fighter Relations”. Does this mean he’s in charge of making sure Kurt Otto doesn’t scare off any more fighters with retarded backseat deals and threats?

Roger Gracie vs Yoshida in the works
I know the Sengoku guys (aka World Wagon Victory or some shit) are supposed to be fucked and all, but they sure seem to be working hard to put together a decent card. Although Roger Gracie vs Yoshida is a fight that would carry more weight back in 2002, I’m still down with it. Plus Japan just loves Jap vs Gracie fights. So thumbs up here.

**UPDATE** In keeping with my not being able to say anything about Japan without fucking it up, the fight is about the next big Gracie hype, Roger Gracie. Not Ralek, Ralph, Renzo, Rhalan, Rickson, Rodrigo, Rolls, Royce, Royler, Rolls, or Zombie Ryan. I withdraw my ‘2002’ comment. But Yoshida still sucks.

Rather than use a typical scale of 1 to 10 to rate the UFC Fight Night, we instead decided to rate it based on the kind of blowjob we’d pass up in order to watch the show again. We typically agreed that it would have to be pretty mediocre fellatio indeed, because Jake loves blowjobs and I hate commercials like I hates me panhandlers who spend all their money on cigarettes. Fuck, at least save that shit up for crack. Cigarettes are just useless.

Anyways, that wisdom and more relating to UFC Fight Night: Swick vs Burkman. The main event might have been a letdown, but we hope you’ll agree that the radio show lives up to the hype!

DOWNLOAD IT HERE. Or check it out using our brand new flash audio player to your right. Itunes users, expect this to appear sometime tommorow.

Remember: Righ after the 2 hour commercial … er , I mean UFC event, we’ll be doing another live Low Blow. Till then, we’ve loaded the server full of our little comedy bits.

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