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Just to give you guys a quick update on our efforts to get April 2nd’s UFC Fight Night extended to three hours:

  • Numerous threads have been created on the Underground forum resulting in hundreds of people pledging to send emails.
  • has stickied a thread which has already hit 24 pages long over the past few days. I know we typically hate these guys on principle alone but I’m not about to look a gift horse in the mouth (whatever that means).
  • I have been in touch with Brian Diamond, who’s in charge of making these kinds of decisions. Spike is VERY aware of our campaign to have the show extended to 3 hours and will be making a decision SOON!

So it’s the home stretch, people. If you’ve already emailed Spike, it’s time to send them the email again. If you’ve got more than one email address, send them a letter from each one. I am in the middle of putting together a press release to try and drum up some more support. If you’re a member of MMA forums, cut and paste this into a thread.

The signs are pointing to Spike showing 3 hours. But it’s not a lock yet by any means. Let’s keep the pressure up!

Here’s a cut and paste letter (it’s a boring polite one, you can get witty ones in the original post):

TO: [email protected]
SUBJECT: UFC Fight Night on April 2nd
I’m writing to ask that the UFC Fight Night on April 2nd be given three hours of time instead of two. The card is one of the best UFC cards ever put on Spike, and it deserves a longer timeslot. The entire fight community is looking forward to seeing this event, and I am sure you’ll have a significantly higher number of viewers if you decide to show more of the card.

Thank you for your time

Have you ever dreamed of being a ref? Think your carefully thought out “Let’s fight this thing!” saying can be the next “Let’s get it on”? Got some moves that put Cecil People’s chicken chop dance to shame? Then you should go check out, where the skinny wrinkled remains of Big John McCarthy will teach you everything you need to know to make your dream a reality.

There’s not a whole bunch of information available at the moment … basically it looks like you pay $500 and then Big John flunks 75% of the class. If you’re one of the lucky 25% left over you get to pay another $500 bucks to learn how to stay the fuck out of the fighters’ way and when to end the fight. Hint: it’s before one fighter rips the spinal cord out of his opponent’s back Mortal Kombat style. Mario Yamasaki, please take note.

The school also apparently teaches people how to judge, so lets hope everyone judging the UFC gets turfed back for a refresher course in not being a blind asshole.

Oh Mirko. I don’t know whether to be angry or happy with you at the moment. Ya see, CroCop has officially left the UFC to go fight in Japan. And while I’ll prefer whatever the Japanese set up over the Mirko vs McCully fight that was probably being readied, I still cry Pride fanboy tears that my Croatian man-crush has basically been run out of the UFC.

Details on how Mirko managed to get out of his UFC contract halfway through are still kinda sketchy, although I have a few ideas on how it went down:

  • Mirko answered he these riddles three
  • In addition to amazing high kicks, Mirko can also pull off some pretty damned convincing blowjobs
  • Croatian law clearly states “CroCop gets to do whatever the fuck he wants to.”

Of course there’s also word that Dana White released Mirko from his contract and Mirko intends on coming back to the UFC down the road. That certainly seems like a pretty unlikely scenario, but I’ve also come up with a few ideas on why this would work:

  • Dana had Mirko injected with crazy bubonic plague monkey aids just before he got on a plane to Japan
  • The UFC can’t afford Mirko because they spent all their heavyweight money on Tim Sylvia and Brock Lesnar
  • Dana is a moron who doesn’t think Mirko is worth paying

Of course, other people are constructing elaborate fantasies where Dana is sending Mirko abroad to hunt down and defeat Fedor, which will magically repair the rift between the UFC and Randy Couture. And while it sure is fun to think that Dana White is capable of such elaborate plotting, it’s a lot more likely that he just thinks CroCop is a washed up loser who can take a flying fuck through a jelly donut.

(apparently someone forgot to tell Mr Orange that ‘formal wear’ doesn’t include gay arctic rave gear)

Ever since New Years Eve there’s been rumors flying all over the place about what was going to happen to Zombie Pride. Was Yarrenoka really a goodbye show or just the first of many events? One idea that’s been passed around more than Edith Larente at a frat party was that FEG (who run K1 and HERO’s) would partner up with Zombie Pride to create a new event. And lo and behold, that is what just went down yesterday in Japan. Behold! Zombie Pride becomes DREAMS. HERO’s is dead. Long live DREAMS!

Now being a selfish MMA fan who doesn’t really give a shit about the politics of the sport, you’re probably wondering “What’s this mean for me?” Well for starters, it means way more awesome events. Check out the freaking schedule they announced:

Dream .1 – March 15 – Saitama Superarena – Lightweight GP Round 1
Dream .2 – April 29 – Saitama Superarena – Middleweight GP Round 1
Dream .3 – May 11 – Saitama Superarena – Lightweight GP Round 2
Dream .4 – Begining of June – Korea or Yokohama Arena – Middleweight GP Round 2
Dream .5 – July 21 – Osaka Jo-Hall – Lightweight GP Finals
Dream .6 – Begining of Sept. – Saitama Superarena- Middleweight GP Finals

Also, right off the bat they’re holding tournaments to crown lightweight and middleweight champs, something HERO’s never bothered to get around to for some stupid reason. Fingers crossed that the bookings also start to make more sense … HERO’s sure did set up a lot of fucking stupid matches, even compared to other Japanese promotions.

(the UFC’s updated their site with a new ring girl photoshoot)

It’s been a kinda quiet news day as the majority of people have been blowing their loads regarding something going on in Japan involving K1 and Mirko CroCop. I dunno, I haven’t really been paying too much attention. I was gonna read into it but then I decided to play some hackey sack instead, which is totally wicked. Maybe I’ll get to it today. Or maybe I’ll play more hackey sack. Hmm. Hackey sack.

Takanori Gomi vs Duane Ludwig booked
World Victory Road continues to roll forward, announcing a few more fights today that no one paid attention to due to the whole CroCop/DREAMS insanity. Gomi gets a chance to avenge his loss to a stinky American fighter … not against the same one, but they all look alike to the Japanese anyways. Those whiteys with their dumb bulge eyes and blond hair. Freaks!

Tim Sylvia’s contract woes
Dave Meltzer stuck just enough MMA news into his stupid wrestling newsletter that I’m considering signing up for it again. I just can’t stand having to read about Rowdy Roddy Piper’s liver problems and shit about Bobby freaking Heenan to get to the good stuff. In this case, Meltzer said that Tim Sylvia and the UFC are off by an entire digit on their contract negotiations. Sure it’s funny to think that Timmy’s asking for 7 figures, but I’ll bet he’s still shooting 6 digit and it’s the UFC that’s looking high 5. Cost cutting’s a bitch, ain’t it?

Roman Mitichyan has another chance to prove he’s not a pussy
I wonder to this day what kind of insanity we missed out on re: TUF because Roman got injured in the first episode. More ‘fucking pussy’ explosions followed by bouts of calming flower sniffing? Ah well. I said when he got injured that he’s going to make everyone he fights pay for that injustice, and poor George looks like he’s next in line.

ProElite are busy bees
Seven – yes, SEVEN! – events in the next month and a half. I could get used to that kinda schedule. Thank God the days of one event a month are over.

All UFC81 fighters test clean
It looks like the UFC’s recent seminars on how to avoid getting caught using steroids have been helpful: another card has come and gone without any fighters pissing dirty.

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