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Old guy doesn’t like MMA in Wisconsin

It’s been far too long since the last good mainstream article ripping MMA for being brutal and barbaric. Fortunately, there are a few constants in this crazy world: old people never seem to die, old people have many stupid outdated opinions, and old people never hesitate to share these opinions, especially when it comes to mixed martial arts. Here’s some highlights from an article from OnMilwaukee.com’s Dave Begel, where his jowls are clearly shaking in outrage over our evil sport getting legislated:

When powerful forces line up to get something done in Wisconsin, it gets done, even if it’s something as crude and outrageous as putting gladiators in a coliseum to see who can bleed the most.

Evidence of this became even clearer last week when Gov. Jim Doyle signed legislation to regulate Mixed Martial Arts fighting in Wisconsin.

Shame on you, Jim Doyle. Shame on you.

Think for a moment about the sublime grace and dignity of baseball. Or the discipline and controlled force of football. Then think of the exact opposite and you’ve got MMA. It is barbaric pummeling of one individual by another. They snarl and kick and jump on damaged opponents. They pound heads into the ground. I don’t think they bite, but I can’t be sure. Blood doesn’t stop the show, in fact it just fuels the battle.

And the crowds that attend these events are as much of a show as they fighters. They hurl blood-curdling screams at the fighters. They roar for pain and damage. There is no admiration for pure skills. The praise is showered on the most brutal in the ring.

The forces of evil have won and it wasn’t even much of a battle. The good guys didn’t even show up for this one so the black hats rode out of town, loaded down with bags of cash and smiles on their faces.

Shame, shame, shame on us.

On behalf of the forces of evil: MWAHAHAHAHA! WE IS IN YOUR STATE REGULATING OUR DEVIL’S DANCE. YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME!

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