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Of piss and semen

I did a good deal of eye rolling and sighing in regards to the prospect of Wednesday’s TUF / Fear Factor cross over. And while I spent my time watching the episode fighting the urge to heave (eating cream of mushroom soup while watching it was a poor choice), I was also giggling like a 12 year old as well. There was something poetic watching Team Nog relishing their piss fruit platter, hamming it up for the camera as they declared “Oh, poor Tom Lawlor who shan’t be getting his desired fruit intake for the day.” Quite frankly, these dudes deserved to eat piss and it was entertaining to watch them get such hardcore comeuppance.

Sure, all that stuff was in bad taste (ba-dum-tss). And I’m pretty sure on a grander scheme of things you can actually end up in court for doing shit like that, even if it’s your own food. That’s assuming the TUF production team didn’t switch out the piss platter to avoid potential issues (I’m still finding it hard to believe that the guys wouldn’t have tasted the urine pretty quickly). I’ll let the legal eagles that inexplicably waste their time on this site argue the statutes on boobytrapping personal food with bodily fluids. But whatever the case, it was GOOD TELEVISION.

There’s a lot of people (including Jake) wringing their hands about the way the sport is getting portrayed via all this, but let me explain how I’ve learned to stop worrying and love the bomb. Any new fans gained solely for urine or cum-stained reasons aren’t gonna stick around once they realize (ironically) that the PPV offering of the sport has less semen than what they see on Spike. The athletes degrading themselves aren’t exactly world-class material, so who cares if they decide to reveal themselves as morons. It’s not like champions Anderson Silva or Georges St Pierre or Big Nog are on camera pissing themselves or something.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past two weeks as I re-negotiated my relationship with MMA, it’s that you have to stop taking actions by individuals and applying them to the organizations they belong to and the overall sport in general. There’s nothing wrong with laughing at Kyle Kingsbury debasing himself. If cinema can survive Pink Flamingos, then MMA can survive this. People equating the idiocy going on in the TUF house with Standgate are out to lunch – fight fixing affects the entire reputation of the sport. What these guys do on TUF just hurts TUF’s rep and the reps of the fighters providing or ingesting jizz.

So relax, sit back and enjoy the retardation. I’ll join the rest of you in horror if/when Jesse Taylor or one of the other TUF rocket scientists wins a world title.