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Mikey Burnett owes the UFC 50K

(The above video – which I will call Exhibit A – probably didn’t help Mikey’s case much)

With all the other news that’s been blowing up in our faces lately, it’s easy to forget about one particularly awesome bit from earlier this year: the addition of all-inclusive insurance for Zuffa fighters. Dental plan! Yus!!! Maybe if this had been in place back during TUF 4, contestant Mikey Burnett wouldn’t have had to sue the UFC and TUF’s insurer for ‘spinal damage’ he received during the filming of the series.

But who knows how that would have turned out. What we do know is you don’t fuck with Zuffa’s squad of demon lawyers with spiky devil cocks. Because obviously they will jam said devil cocks where the sun don’t shine. While Burnett reached a sealed (aka secret) settlement with TUF’s insurer, things didn’t work out so well in terms of his case against Zuffa: he’s now on the hook for over 50Gs in Zuffa lawyer fees. $52,996.00 to be specific.

You see, Zuffa’s lawyers don’t just beat you in court. They force you to pay them for the legal cost of said beating. They did it to Ken Shamrock, they just did it to Mikey Burnett, and I’m sure they’ve done it to many others. The point is … you are alive when they start to eat you. So be afraid. Be very afraid. Zuffa is not to be messed with in court.

  • glassjawsh says:

    zuffa’s lawyers > reavers

    and you just don’t fuck with reavers

  • glassjawsh says:

    -“what happens if the reavers board the ship?”

    – “if they take the ship, they’ll rape us to death, feast on our flesh, and sew our skin into their clothes, and, if we’re very very lucky, they’ll do it in that order”

    STILL preferable to dealing with zuffa’s demon squad

  • Letibleu says:

    Still not as bad as spending eternity listening to the same Celine Dion album on repeat.

  • bosswell says:

    Leti! You just ruined my day with the mention of something so horrible! I think you might just be working with Zuffa’s law department.

  • G Funk says:

    Jawsh’s brother be so craysee!

  • Komodo says:

    I’ve wanted to hear that swim goggle line for so long. Thank you FL… thank you.

    500 bonus points for the JP reference.