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Mike Sloan is on drugs

I have no idea what Bisping/Evans match Mike Sloan from Sherdog watched, but it can’t be the same one I did. Or perhaps he was tripping balls on ketamine or something. Either way, I’ve never read a more incorrect assessment of a match in my entire life:

Evans, for the most part, proved that his stamina was not going to fail him in the three rounder. He also showed he could stand and trade with someone who has much better technique on the feet and that his wrestling ability ranks in the upper echelon among MMA fighters.

Bisping, meanwhile, showcased that he can scramble to safety from takedowns, defend himself properly while on his back and that he tries to win his fights rather than trying not to lose.

Oh, where to start? Evan’s stamina. Okay: take everything Sloan said and reverse it … and then it will make sense:

Evans, for the most part, proved that his stamina WILL ALWAYS fail him in the three rounder. He also DID NOT show he could stand and trade with someone who has much better technique on the feet and that his wrestling ability DOES NOT rank in the upper echelon among MMA fighters.

There we go. Evans blew his wad in the first and by the third was barely able to do anything. His striking never looked dangerous and his takedowns past the first round were sloppy at best.

I’m not going to argue completely with Sloan’s opinion of Bisping … he did showcase his ‘scrambling to safety’ abilities, and when that elite scrambling didn’t work he managed to protect himself on his back. But the whole “tries to win his fights rather than trying not to lose” thing … HELLO! Bisping had a round and a half with a gassed Rashad Evans and still didn’t do enough to win the third round. If that was Bisping trying to win, then I don’t see him winning too many judge’s decisions down the road.

  • Murg says:

    Yeah, I don’t know what’s up with the Sherdog spin lately… Are they trying to ingratiate themselves to the UFC? Fuckers haven’t had press credentials for like 2 years, it’s gotta be hurting them.

  • You got that so right FL!

  • TIGERTAO says:

    Murg your on point there man, WTF was this guy on? even for Sherdog thats one fucked up piece of reporting, it actually spurred me on to read the whole piece, which sucks Whales Balls!
    And as for “he tries to win his fights rather than trying not to lose.” Shut the fuck up Sloan.

  • That article was either the best piece of MMA satire or the worst fight analysis I’ve ever read.

  • Mobb Deep says:

    Now that PRIDE is gone, Sherdog has no choice but to suck UFC cock.

  • Prozac For All says:

    My biggest pet peeve with Sherdog is when I put on their radio show and listen to 20 minutes of baseball and fantasy football related nonsense. Savage Dog show is right up there with TAGG radio lately in terms of being awesome at the internet. And the Stephen Quadros and Aaron Crecy show… wow, I don’t even know what to say about that one.

  • Ted Dibiase says:

    i refuse to go to


  • Weren’t you banned from sherdog?

  • Vee says:

    Rashad has only proved that he can not do anything when he takes an opponent to the ground. Bisping or Bisping’s corner should have recognized that Evans was gassed and pressed the attack to finish but . . .

    Yeah, I agree, your complete reversal of his statements is right on target.

  • Beau says:

    Sherdog also had a hilarious write up on the Kimbo fight where the said he looked like a seaosned vet and is clearly ready to take on the world in the heavyweight division. Really? You got all that from a guy laying down and tapping 19 seconds into the fight? I only go to sherdog when I’ve exhausted all other options.

  • Xavier says:

    “Rashad has only proved that he can not do anything when he takes an opponent to the ground.”

    Jason Lambert says you have a shit memory.

  • Jonathan says:

    Evans did not show us anything new!

  • Jordan Breen says:

    “even for Sherdog thats one fucked up piece of reporting,”

    Mike Sloan’s Reverie pieces are not reporting; they’re op-eds. People would be greatly served to obseve the difference.

  • TIGERTAO says:

    Ooooh well excuse me Jordan I shall rephrase; even for Sherdog thats one fucked up, cock sucking, delusional, “I watched it whilst on DMT, through 3d glasses, suffering from ocular herpes,” piece of opposite editorial tuberculous phlegm, on the rancid salad tossed anus that is Sherdog.Com.

    And whilst your being pedantic you would be greatly served to use a spell checker and “obseve” the difference between someone who’s journalistic opinion is valued and respected and the stupefying cunt who wrote the article in question.

    Choke on a cock you snide supercilious bitch, or go find out some facts about Japanese fighters no one gives a fuck about.

    Don’t fuck with the Jackals, we used to fuck guys like you in prison.

  • Mobb Deep says:

    Dogs are not welcome round herrre. Only Jackals.

  • Jordan Breen says:

    I’m crushed. Really. If only my R key was more functional, my self-esteem would’ve been spared.

    But really, I’m glad you rephrased. While I’ve obviously got my own pathetic issues like my obsession for Japanese fighters, Mike Sloan has his own. I’d rather our problems not be conflated.

  • TIGERTAO says:

    I wouldn’t dream of conflating, amalgamating or fusing your wholly separate ‘issues’ the huge difference between your work and his, is that you very often provide thought provoking, insightful work and he produces a longer streak of shit, than a stampede of diarrheal camels.

    If your original intent was to defend your site and employers, your loyalty is admirable, misguided but admirable.
    If Sherdog were to implement a critical editorial system, then perhaps sperm-lubed shits like this piece of work, would never be defecated onto the site. Thus saving you a mop up job and maybe earning your site a little respect.

    In the meantime here’s some rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr’s to cut and paste for your future posts.

  • Jordan Breen says:

    I’m not defending the site, and honestly believe the site needs op-ed overhaul and expansion on the whole. I just think there’s a danger when I often see MMA fans struggle to differentiate Writer X’s opinion in an op-ed from an event report; it’s worrisome. Moreover, there is no homogeneity to What Mike Sloan, myself, or anyone else writes in an editorialized fashion is only one person’s opinion. I dislike the idea of my mentality being represented by someone else’s writing who I may disagree with in the most vehement way possible.

    And thank you for the R’s. I have saved them in a safe notepad file.

  • TIGERTAO says:

    Thanks for the clarification of your position on Mike Sloan and the state of Sherdog in general, I honestly hope you get promoted and overhaul the whole site. If not let us Jackals know and we’ll dismember your boss and hack the server that hosts that teenage cess pool of a Forum and erase it forever, I mean seriously can you imagine if our little sparring match here was on the Sherdog forums? 98% of the posters there wouldn’t understand 80% of what we have written!

    HT to you Jordan, you stood your ground.
    Now go hunt some slant eyed MMA monkey news!

  • kentyman says:

    Screw both of you; I had to lookup half a dozen of those words.

    Oh, and if you use copy/paste, you only need one R.