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Mickey’s dumped by UFC, shacking up with Tito Ortiz now

I shed some tears when I heard that Budweiser was taking over the ‘get yo ass drunk’ sponsorship from Mickeys. Yeah, I know … Bud is big and great and it’s a new milestone for the sport, blah blah blah blah. But Bud Light is a woman’s beer – not that there’s anything wrong with being inferior. I literally feel like a gigantic vagina drinking it. Now Mickey’s was a real drink. It wasn’t even beer, it was MALT FUCKIN’ LIQUOR. You told people you were drinking malt liquor and they thought you had a drinking problem. Now that’s where it’s at.

Anyways, so Mickey’s trashy slut ass got dumped by the UFC in favor of the more ‘respectable’ Budweiser. But now it looks like Mickey’s isn’t taking an exit from MMA:

Today, Tito Ortiz, a UFC light heavyweight who has a well-documented feud with UFC president Dana White, will announce a major sponsorship with Mickey’s, which is part of Miller Brewing Company — and Anheuser-Busch’s biggest rival.

As part of his deal with Mickey’s, the company will develop promotions, events and packaging featuring Ortiz. Mickey’s will also work alongside Ortiz’s Team Punishment clothing brand for cross-promotional opportunities.

That’s like breaking up with a guy then sleeping with his nemesis. And then leaving ranting messages on his answering machine about how his nemesis has a huge cock and he was so good at fucking and how good it felt to be with a REAL man again. And while that kind of scenario isn’t funny when it happens to you (I die a bit inside every time I think about it), it’s enjoyable to see it play out in the corporate world. We’ve always liked Mickey’s, so I’m hoping they’ve decided to embrace their role as the black sheep renegades of the MMA booze world. Is a sponsorship of Crazy Horse Bennett and Kimbo Slice in the cards???

And hey, Mickey’s guys … I know you read this blog. We’re kinda sorta black sheep renegades too! What a perfect match, huh? How about getting together and throwing us some love. We’ll bend over hardcore for you. All this orange site shit is starting to get annoying, so 50 bucks and we can make it green.

  • hey now Tito can get all the Mickey’s he needs just to get enough liquid courage to sleep with that zombie of a girlfriend Jenna.

  • andres says:

    All I drink is mickeys if they endorse you guys does that mean im paying your bills?

  • ajadoniz says:

    this isn’t going to end well for mickey’s or tito if m1 is any indication of what happens basing your promotion on one fighter.

  • Denton says:

    I don’t know. I’d rather judge people by how they fight, not by what beer they drink but hey, if that’s your cup of tea… Liddell likes Bud Light… someone needs to tell him he’s a mangina and needs to start drinking Mickey’s or Steel Reserve. Eh? Eh?! jk

    That sucks for Mickey’s though, they lose the UFC and get a douchebag in its place.

  • yeah but if they play their cards right they could get us douchebags too 😉

  • Hanzo Hattori says:

    Machida will embarass Tito & Mickys.

    What would be a sutible sponser for Lyoto?

  • Denton says:

    Fuck yeah, I’d start drinking Mickey’s just to support the site.