It’s Dynamite!! time, where we forget all of the massive disappointments FEG has heaped on us throughout the year with DREAM and hope that they can pull shit together for one big NYE spectacular. Last year featured fizzling draw Satoshi Ishii vs Retiring Yoshida and Andy Souer vs Retiring Masato. See a bit of a trend there?
This year it sounds like they’ll be trying to pull off some good numbers without the aid of anyone hanging up the gloves, even though 30 Helens agree that Sakuraba deserves to be retired / sacrificed in the name of the Japanese NYE Ratings God. Here’s what pie FEG’s trying to cook up in the sky:
Somebody vs Asashoryu – In case you don’t know, Asashoryu is the latest big deal sumo legend that Japan has shamed into retirement. At least here we don’t pretend that cries of ‘BRETT FAVRE SUCKS COCKS’ are anything other than mindless sports bickering. Over there everyone shakes their heads in disapproval so seriously when Asashoryu’s lack of hinkaku comes up. Let he who hasn’t broken someone’s nose in a drunken bar fight throw the first stone, I say. Anyways, Asashoryu would be a major booking for Dynamite!! which is why I give it a 5% chance it actually happens.
Sakuraba vs Satoshi Ishii – Ishii actually asked for this fight, but then again Ishii asks for all sorts of crazy shit from week to week. Two weeks ago he was planning on defecting to America so he could compete in the Olympics again. One week ago he wanted to fight in K-1. I’m sure next week he’ll want a puppy instead of a kitten and I just don’t know if the garbage disposal can handle those once they’re older than a month.
Other possibilities (basically the ‘DO WANT’ list written by FEG prez Tanikawa on a cocktail napkin) include:
- Shinya Aoki v. Gilbert Melendez
- Tatsuya Kawajiri v. Satoru Kitaoka
- Andrews Nakahara
- Murilo ‘Ninja’ Rua
- Hiroyuki Takaya
- Michihiro Omigawa
Not a hell of a lot of interesting stuff in the way of foreign fighters past G.Mel, which isn’t a surprise since DREAM seems to use the 8000-mile distance to America as a way of not getting punched in the face after stiffing people. Meanwhile, outside the broke-ass world of FEG, Sengoku would like you to know they’re thinking about holding a huge NYE event of their very own! But they probably won’t.