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March Badness: Where 17-19 Fighters Go To Die

Oh boy. If it wasn’t bad enough that Jason Guida‘s biggest moment in MMA was flashing his goat to the world before getting booted off TUF, his next move is a match-up with Bobby Lashley. To make matters worse, the slobbering-out-of-shape-mess-of-a-man has been talking a little shit about “Black Lesnar.”

I welcome him, after I beat him, to work at our club (Hellhouse) to learn how to fight. Lashley’s going to find out that this is MMA not WWE. He’s in for a rude awakening, which probably will be a good thing — he’ll be fighting a real MMA guy. I don’t wish him any ill harm, in fact, I wish him the best because beating him will look even better if he goes on to succeed in MMA.

The only rude awakening Lashley will be in for is how Guida’s “rude” smell will immediately “awake” him.

I would tend to think that talking smack about a grizzly-bear-sized man like Lashley is generally not a good decision if one wishes to stay in good health. Guida could partake in a multitude of other activities that would have a less adverse effect on his health. These activities include having unprotected sex with a full blown AIDS patient, wearing a pointy white hood while walking through certain areas of the Bronx, and shoving his head in a bee hive (or &feature=related”>spending an afternoon with Nic Cage).