I usually stick to roasting terrible MMA writing, but I just wanted to point out how hilariously overwritten the following article on Lyoto Machida is:
His name typically rolls off the tongue as if each sound was a misguided footstep. It is not a particularly difficult name, but the problem is no one ever really says it. It is a name attached to one of mixed martial art’s most impressive resumes known but seldom spoken. More and more it finds its way in print, in the air, and wrong or not, everyone is learning it. To be able to know the man behind the name, one must understand thousands of years of history.
The whole damn article is written like that, too. Jesus christ, I’d love to see this guy write a blog about taking a shit:
Tentatively I straddled the bowl, lowering myself onto the seat surface slowly in anticipation of the cold touch of skin to porcelain. Arching back, I reconfigure my cheeks and part the scragly hair growing between them to avoid any feces being caught. I firm my stomach and furrow my brow, pushing out the detritus of my morning breakfast.
Okay, I’m not saying that good writing doesn’t belong in MMA … but there’s a point where it goes from being well written to Ye Olde English court speak. Honestly, this is mixed martial arts, not Shakespeare.