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Luke Thomas has no testicles

Yeah, you heard me. The site operator of BloodyElbow.com is steering his website without a pair in his pants. How do I know this? Because he’s always picking the safe bets on UFC fights. For example, he thinks Diego ‘Tiger’ Sanchez is gonna beat Jon ‘I hate my life and have to wash dishes to make ends meet’ Fitch. While this is a reasonable assumption for the average TUF noob, I was expecting better from you, Luke.

So to help him learn a lesson and hopefully stimulate the growth of some nuts, I’m throwing down the gauntlet: Let’s make a bet. When Jon Fitch wins, you’ll have to record the following statement that I get to play on my radio show:

Hi, I’m Luke Thomas and I’m a recovering TUF Noob. I used to have a brain when it came to mixed martial arts but then I got blinded by Diego Sanchez’ beautiful eyes and sexy Mexicano moustache. Entranced by his feminine grace on the Ultimate Fighter, I forgot that all guys from TUF are losers like me and will never accomplish anything in life. I made the ultimate mistake in betting against Fightlinker (who’s always right about everything), and now I have to record this message to say: I’m stupid and have no balls, but I’m trying to be sweet and totally awesome like Fightlinker. I’ll never bet on Diego Sanchez again, unless it is in some kind of homosexual rodeo competition. Fightlinker is God, I am scum.

Luke, if by some miraculous fluke my guy dies of a aneurysm or blows out his knee or God really is on Diego’s side and smites Fitch with a lightning bolt, you can have whatever you want. Name your wager and I’ll take it. This shit is on like Donkey Kong.

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