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Luckily, He Won’t Hear the Boos

OK, I make deaf jokes all the time. To be fair, I have the common decency to put my hand over my mouth so any “hearing impaired” persons won’t be the wiser. See how nice I am?

But the news that Matt Hamill is having a movie made about his life is making my head scream so loudly in protest, I think I might personally go deaf myself. In case you haven’t heard, Hollywood is completely out of ideas, and as such has decided that a guy who can’t hear is the perfect underdog for a movie; a mixture of Rudy and Million Dollar Baby. Their words, not mine.

I don’t want to be insensitive, but is anyone buying this fucking load of shit? I can understand it’s harder to do certain things when you are deaf, but is ultimate fighting really one of them? I could understand if he was trying to compose symphonies, or trying to keep his job as a roadie for the Grateful Bead. But this is a guy who has to punch or throw around another human opponent all day. If anything, hearing can sometimes be a liability, especially if your corner man is retarded.

For a guy with a nothing record (4-1 in the UFC) who isn’t even considered a contender (maybe one day, but not yet), this movie seems, at the very least, a little premature. He isn’t up for any title contention, nor has he done anything really interesting other than losing to a bullshit decision against Bisping. This is the equivalent of making a movie about the last corn-infested shit I took. 20 bucks says it’ll be directed by Uwe Boll.

The only positive side of this would be a movie that’s finally about MMA. Of course, it would be about the boring lay-and-pray wrestling shit that drives me crazy, but it’s much better than anything else I see on the horizon. I just wish they would dig a little deeper and find, oh, I don’t know, a fucking Champion as a title character, rather than with a TUF noob! Maybe I’m just a hater, I don’t know. At least, Hamil won’t hear all the boos I’ll be making in the theater.

44 COMMENTS
  • The movie is supposed to be about his life before the UFC ie wrestling and it sounds like its an independent film.

  • dulljake says:

    wow, even more boring. fun…

  • garth says:

    you called it ultimate fighting…weeep

  • dulljake says:

    i call it that to annoy you guys. it’s working well, muhahahaha

  • Omomatta says:

    I just call it violence. Human Cockfighting I say.

  • Fightlinker Jackal says:

    “This is the equivalent of making a movie about the last corn infested shit I took”

    Was that supposed to be funny?

  • Spork says:

    yarr what the first guy said. I dont think it has anything to do with his UFC career, thats in the sequel.

  • Denton says:

    I don’t see any major studio getting behind this one so it probably is an Indie but I could be wrong. Who knows, might be something interesting about this guy. He’s certainly going to become a contender one day sooner or later, that is without question. I think a film about Randy or Fedor or Nog would be better though. But I guess since they were born with hearing it’s not in the cards for them. I think they’d pick Philip Seymour-Hoffman to play Fedor.

  • Carcass says:

    Bisping won, get over it.

    1R Hammil
    2R Bisping (close, but still won)
    3R Bisping (by a mile)
    And as for the ‘hometown judges’ argument – the only British judge gave the fight to Hammill…the two yanks gave it to Mike, go figure.

  • Jeremy (not that Jeremy) says:

    Ah yes, the Grateful Bead.

    Remember their hit album, American Sequin? That was the shit.

  • Carcass says:

    [/troll]

  • Ryans just mad that a deaf guy gets a movie made about him and his epic dj career is still unexplored.

  • Denton says:

    LMFAO Everyone, yes EVERY-fucking-ONE knows that Matt won the fight, including Mr. White. Our blood has just finally stopping boiling over that and here you come in tryin to rile everybody up again. Thanks a bunch.

  • Wad says:

    With a name like Carcass and an obvious bias for Bisping, we clearly have a rogue liverpuddlian on our hands.

  • ^ woops didn’t even look to see who wrote this pulizer winner… sorry jake for the last comment. Your sad because your room mate isn’t getting a movie made about his epic x extravaganza.

  • D-Rock Dizzle Jones says:

    GUAHIZS DOAH BE SO PESSMISTICS!

  • Carcass says:

    TITTOH MAH GU FREN!!

  • now we have devolved into not even speaking English at the site.

  • DonnyG says:

    Is it gonna detail how he survuved only knowing how to make cereal and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to subsist on?

  • dulljake says:

    i’d say that’s more like Rudy, don’t you?

  • Captain says:

    Nice rant, Bert! Or is it Ernie?

  • DannyP72 says:

    So it’s going to be like the Smashing Machine but with more cow tipping?

  • MadMan says:

    i’m inspired by Matt Hamill. I’m not sure that his life quite deserves a movie, but if you put yourself in his shoes and realize the effort that he must’ve put forth to learn what he has–it’s impressive. To be unable to
    hear what is being taught, and unable to voice your
    questions and/or opinions to your teacher would be frustrating, to say the least. To overcome THAT, not to mention all of the insecurities that must come along with being deaf–takes a determined, focused individual.

    RESPECT–Matt Hamill!!

  • Carcass says:

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
    The king must rest now.

  • Nachtfalter says:

    Instead of ranting about a stupid wrestling movie nobody cares about GET OFF YOUR BUTT, SLAP RYAN AND RECORD A LOW BLOW! I want my fix, dammit! Go! Go! Go!

  • Millertime says:

    I love Grateful Bead’s song Jasey Cones.

  • dulljake says:

    I would, but I’m at work right now. I’m just trying my best here. Give me some slack!

  • Steve4192 says:

    I agree it would be silly to make a MMA-based story on Hamill, but as others have mentioned, the movie is about his wrestling career and will probably end after he wins his first national championship.

    It will probably play out something like this:

    Kid is born deaf into a hearing family,
    struggles to adjust until he finds an outlet in wrestling,
    earns a scholarship to college,
    falls flat on his face,
    transfers to a school for the hearing impaired,
    wins three national championships.

    Not a bad story arc if you think about it.

  • mrs. mma says:

    yes a movie about the all-american role modelic sports hero.

    who blanket his way onto TUF, barely beat the uber-tough mma ultra- badass Mike Nickels and even in the process hurt himself even more than his opponent. abused his teammates. brown nosed his coach the entire competition to get him to protect him. decisioned seth petruzelli and beat barely trained failed collegiate wrestlers in his only other UFC wins.

    Yeah thats definately all the makings of the greatest sports story of the century.

  • andres says:

    And than they said all the actors in the movie would be deaf except the guy who plays hamil goddanm imagine how hard that would be watching that movie and not understanding anything that comes out of the mouth allbad son allday

  • andres says:

    And than they said all the actors in the movie would be deaf except the guy who plays hamil goddanm imagine how hard that would be watching that movie and not understanding anything that comes out of there mouths allbad son allday

  • Denton says:

    Give the dude a break, it’s his first 5 MMA fights, when he gets destroyed that’s when you can subtley allude to him being a pussy.

  • crs says:

    Where does Million Dollar Baby come into play in his bio-pic? Will he be on life support for 80% of the movie?

  • dulljake says:

    yeah, i didn’t get that part. Maybe he broke his neck trying to suck his own dick…balls resting on his lips…

  • KillerPMS says:

    “20 bucks says it’ll be directed by Uwe Boll.” – LMFAO!!! You are SO right about that! This has got Boll’s name all over this pile o’ shit idea. First prize Jake. First fucking prize.

  • FIGHTLINKER IS WRONG says:

    I doubt very much this will be about his fighting career. He was you know… a pretty good wrestler beforehand… and he’s deaf … so that’s where the story is coming from. Also this movie is most likely an indie project so if this site is going to make a point about reviewing every indie movies retarded plot then this site is gonna be able to work in the penis joke quote we’ve all become used to.

    Movies are made like this all the fucking time. It’s just some tear jerking feel good movie, unlike Million Dollar Baby which was the worst example of torture porn I’ve ever seen. Shit that movie could only have been worse if the soundtrack was made up of babies being stabbed and doctors slipping on aborted fetuses.

  • FIGHTLINKER IS WRONG says:

    I doubt very much this will be about his fighting career. He was you know… a pretty good wrestler beforehand… and he’s deaf … so that’s where the story is coming from. Also this movie is most likely an indie project so if this site is going to make a point about reviewing every indie movies retarded plot then this site is noytgonna be able to work in the penis joke quote we’ve all become used to.

    Movies are made like this all the fucking time. It’s just some tear jerking feel good movie, unlike Million Dollar Baby which was the worst example of torture porn I’ve ever seen. Shit that movie could only have been worse if the soundtrack was made up of babies being stabbed and doctors slipping on aborted fetuses.

  • FIGHTLINKER IS WRONG says:

    I doubt very much this will be about his fighting career. He was you know… a pretty good wrestler beforehand… and he’s deaf … so that’s where the story is coming from. Also this movie is most likely an indie project so if this site is going to make a point about reviewing every indie movies retarded plot then this site is not gonna be able to work in the penis joke quote we’ve all become used to.

    Movies are made like this all the fucking time. It’s just some tear jerking feel good movie, unlike Million Dollar Baby which was the worst example of torture porn I’ve ever seen. Shit that movie could only have been worse if the soundtrack was made up of babies being stabbed and doctors slipping on aborted fetuses.

  • RoB says:

    AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • kentyman says:

    Damn you, RoB, for beating me to it. 😉

  • andres says:

    I think id be a very funny movie especially while we are under the influence of our very good friend mary jane

    God I miss you more everyday your not in my lungs..

  • tophw says:

    Might as well make a movie about Fedor and Randy saying how bald guys are at a disadvantage in the cage b/c it hurts their self-esteem and therefore greatly affects their fighting performance.

    The strife and struggle of being a bald man trying to compete in the world’s toughest sport is oh so great.

  • Dmitri says:

    Having worked alongside a deaf person, I can honestly say they’re not all that “inspiring”. They’re like the rest of us, except people are prepared to humour them more often than the rest of us non-disabled. If you’ve never had hearing..how do you know what you’ve lost? But yeah, continue your “aww shames”.

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