twitter google

Lost contact lense the root of all Jackson issues

I barely want to cover this story since it’s so goddamn retarded and probably not true at all, but I suppose it’s one more thing to make fun of so why not? Lots of stories of questionable veracity are coming out regarding Quinton Rampage Jackson. You’ve got several people talking religious psychosis, Jeremy May saying everything is A-OK, and now a new source claiming that the initial accident which sparked Quinton’s rampage (I’ll never get tired of calling it that) was caused by … and I shit you not … Quinton losing a contact lense:

Our source indicates that Jackson was fumbling around with a contact lens that was giving him trouble while driving and subsequently lost the lens. He was apparently searching for it when he sideswiped at least two vehicles, mildly injuring one woman.

A frightened, paranoid Jackson, who had again, been up fasting for days, then acted on instinct and fled the scene and eventually the police.

AS far as excuses or explanations go, this is up there with “The dog at my homework” and “Goats made me test positive for steroids” for sheer stupidity. Regardless, talking about a lost contact lense in the context of a multi-day insomniac bender is like focusing on a stubbed toe when your dick has just been blown off.

*Correction* I originally mentioned Jeremy Jackson in this article instead of Jeremy May. May is the asshole. Jackson is the rapist. Thanks to jackal Pauli for noticing!