twitter google

Live from UFC 91 : Friday

Jackal Deze Nutz is a lucky guy. Not only has he tricked a chick into marrying him, but she was down with seeing UFC 91 during their honeymoon. Deze Nutz will be taking us through the event on the ground over the next few days, starting with all the action from Friday. Enjoy!

My wife and I got married in late October. When she suggested a little mini-honeymoon I had visions of a bed and breakfast somewhere near our hometown of Ottawa, Ontario, Canada and a weekend of sleep and boredom.

When it emerged that what she had in mind was a long weekend in Vegas, things began to look up. When she choose the weekend of UFC 91 and bought tickets I began to realize that I’m a lucky dude. In her words “what could be more romantic than watching grown men pound the shit out of each other?” What a lady!

We arrived at the MGM Grand this afternoon around 2 – the site of UFC 91 tomorrow and the weigh-ins today. Fight Club members (my wife actually has two memberships due to internet difficulties) were invited to a Q&A with Rich Franklin hosted by Goldberg. Rich is presumably in town to clean up Jorge Gurgel after he decides to play get-punch-in-the-face again. The Q&A and weigh-ins took place in the Grand Garden Arena.

I think that we must have missed the memo about wardrobe. Clearly the cardinal rule of concert wardrobe, which is never wear the T-shirt of the band you’re going to see, is not in effect at UFC events. Tons of people were wearing the free Fight Club t-shirts that the UFC sends out. Those who dressed themselves outside that box were wearing TapOut or Affliction shirts either stretched over massive guts or shrink wrapped around emaciated bodies. All ladies were required to have their boobs as jacked as humanly possible – particularly if they were unattractive and massively overweight. There do not appear to be many fans of MMA who actually train MMA or do any kind of exercise whatsoever. At all.

Rich was actually pretty funny. When asked by an audience member whether his wife worries about him when he’s fighting he told us a story about having a nasty cut at the end of a fight. He looked over at Dana who looked concerned and then looking at his wife who was chatting with a friend and laughing about the cut. Goldberg chimed in that “Jorge was worried” – everyone treats Gurgel bad.

Rich also allowed a kid from the audience come up and try a few combos on him before saying that the kid kicks like Anderson Silva. This was obviously not true because Rich’s nose didn’t get busted. The kid’s Dad was the one who asked if he could come up. He said that his son had been training with Leben in Hawaii so everyone was a little surprised when the kid turned out to be about 6 years old and 3 feet tall. Leben training with the kid explains a few things about the Bisping fight and reminded me of Kramer’s karate class. I wonder if the kid’s on Steroids. Rich finished up then spent 20 minutes shaking hands and taking pictures before his PR lady hauled him away.

The next hour was spent re-watching the Countdown show while the non-fight club members filled the place up. Roughly 1/3 of the stadium was available for seating and it was PACKED. The actual weigh-ins started at around 4 (after we were encouraged to “cheer our asses off” whenever fighters came out – to make the people watching on the internet feel like dicks for not making the trip I think.)

We were sitting about 20 ft from the front but managed to walk right up to the fence to watch the weigh-ins. It took me a while to realize that Ken Pavia (MMA Agent) and Mark Delagrotte were standing next to me.

Rogan came out first and got a big cheer. Dana White came out just before the fighters and got one of the biggest cheers of the afternoon and definitely the biggest for anyone who wasn’t getting naked on stage and hopping on the scale. He was wearing a bright pink T-shirt, or possibly a bright pink T-shirt was wearing him. Rogan’s introduction of Arianny as a “professional hot chick” was classic.

The actually weigh-in process was over in a flash. Rogan yelled the name of each fighter. The crowd cheered or booed, the fighter hit weight, stood and glared at their opponent with their fists up for a photo and then got shooed off stage. The undercard didn’t get a lot of love from the crowd. Matt Brown came out with a glare (his only facial expression judging from the fuck off look he gave me in the casino earlier on) and got a cheer but otherwise it wasn’t until the main card that the crowd got into it.

McCrory vs. McLovin (Hazelett) got the crowd going, particularly Hazelett’s awesome Tanner tribute beard. McCrory looked a lot bigger and like he didn’t have much water left in him. He earned a big cheer for a Macho Man two arm flex. He also started drinking water immediately when he got off the scale. I’m not sure that he’s going to be able to stay at Welterweight for very long.

Maia and Quarry both looked jacked and had a good stare-down, that fight has a ton of potential so long as it’s avoids becoming a Cote/Almeida-style snooze fest. Maia seemed a bit confused about what he was supposed to do when he came out on stage and Dana had to indicate that the scale was waiting for him.

Gonzanga looked massive at 256 pounds and a little soft (though not Werdum soft). I wonder if he’s putting on weight in the hopes of fighting Lesnar if Couture comes through. (He was 242 for the Couture fight). His opponent looked familiar but then I realized it was only because he was on the Countdown show talking shit for Randy about 10 minutes before he came out. Otherwise, I have no idea who that dude is. He looked a little chunky too but had a ton of tats which I assume means he’s a douche. I’m picking Napao early on that one.

Joe Daddy came out with a rocking spiky hairdo and got a big cheer from the crowd. KenFlo came out looking like a greasy homeless man and didn’t get nearly as much love. I think he’s gonna whoop Stevenson but he won’t get any love for doing it.

Brock was greeted with a ton of boos when he came out. I have to hand it to him though; he genuinely didn’t seem to give a shit. He weighed in at the 265 limit and was, without a doubt, the largest (non-Orca-fat) human I’ve ever seen in person. He looked jacked and it’s significantly harder to make fun of his cock-on-chest tattoo when he might overhear and get pissed. He also wasn’t interested in hanging around. He weighed, stared at Randy with his ham-fists raised, dropped some WWE line about how he would see Randy and all of us on Saturday and then fucked off.

Randy came out to a rocking cheer, he was grinning and waving and was clearly really happy to be there. The shocker came when he stepped on the scale and came in at 220. I hear that Stephan Bonner was claiming that this means he’ll be faster and have better cardio on ESPN but damn, that’s a ton of weight. Brock definitely cut weight (you could see that he wasn’t carrying much water) and that means he’ll outweigh Randy by about 70 pounds in the Octagon. That’s a ton; it’s half a Urijah Faber. Ignoring relativity, it’s like Randy fighting BJ Penn (which BJ would be totally down with) and with relative size it’s like Randy against GSP (which GSP would win, Go Canada!)

Rogan tells Randy that his career is like a movie and that if this were a video game Lesnar would be the final boss. Randy laughs. I laughed then I started thinking about how many times I die in every video game before I finally figure out how to beat the boss. Shit. I may be kissing $50 on Randy goodbye.

The highlight of the weigh-ins was leaving the stadium. Every MMA figher and their dog made an appearance. I got a picture with Bruce Buffer earlier in the day which I was happy with but I managed to get pics with Kevin Randleman, Gray Maynard, Martin Kampmann, Karo Parisien, Miguel Torres, Thiago Alves (and Chuck Zito) on the way out the door. It was a star fuckers paradise. I wonder what it’s like to Karo to bump into Thiago randomly, he must really want to punch him in the face, although, considering what happened last time he tried that maybe it’s better just to smile. I can tell you that Karo is a small dude and Thiago is massive but relatively short.

I’ll write again tomorrow night post-fights. One nice thing about seeing the stadium was realizing that the view from our seats won’t be like being in the rafters at an old Pride event. It’s a smallish stadium and there are huge TVs everywhere so seeing should be no problem. More to come tomorrow.