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Let’s make UFC Fight Night 13 a three hour show

Just a quick reminder that the UFC is pulling out all the freaking stops for UFC Fight Night 13. They just officially announced a number of rumored fights, making the card officially the most insane card in SpikeTV history. Check this shit out:

Officially announced bouts for UFC Fight Night 13:
-Kenny Florian vs. Joe Lauzon
-Karo Parisyan vs. Thiago Alves
-Matt Hamill vs. Stephan Bonnar
-Marcus Aurelio vs. Spencer Fisher
-Din Thomas vs. Josh Neer
-Clay Guida vs. Samy Schiavo
-Tommy Speer vs. Anthony Johnson

Rumored bouts, not yet officially announced:
-Frankie Edgar vs. Gray Maynard
-Houston Alexander vs. James Irvin

“Hey Fightlinker” you say. “This does me no goods. Spike TV will only show like 4 fights. That sucks!” Not so, my friend. There’s a chance that we could be seeing more than that:

That [a three hour show] has been kicked around the office. It is up to Spike. We have suggested it,” said Dana White.

So now we have a chance to do something good. Before I urged you all to support the Keith Jardine Techno Viking petition. But deep down in our hearts we all new Keith was too much of a welly to ever go through with it. So now I say we do something that may actually make a difference. Let’s contact Spike and harass them until they agree to make UFC Fight Night 13 a three hour show. Their email is [email protected]

If you’re too lazy to write a real letter, you can copy and paste this one:

Subject: UFC Fight Night 13 on April 2nd

Dear Benevolent Spike TV Executives

How about making UFC Fight Night on April 2nd a three hour show instead of two? I don’t know if you pay attention to stuff like this (you are probably pretty busy finding manswers to all our questions), but the fight card is pretty damn spectacular. I don’t know how ratings work, but I am confident in saying that if you make this show one hour longer, your ratings will quadrouple. Hell, they’ll probably tetracize. This results in more money for you, which you can spend on more James Bond marathons or more golden beds full of hot women. And it will also result in more happiness and joy for us, your loyal MMA watching fan.

So please, make UFC Fight Night on April 2nd a three hour show instead of two. You say that you are a network for men. It is time to prove this claim. Help me Spike TV, you’re my only hope. That was a star wars reference. Sweet.

Sincerely
Insert your name here.

As a side note, they’re actually pretty good at responding to emails they receive. I wrote them a long letter regarding their scaling back of Star Trek shows and they responded quite politely (even though I used the word ‘asshole’ and ‘space-jews’ a lot). They were also nice enough not to add me onto some shitty network email list, which is more than I can say about the UFC’s contact email.

SPREAD THE WORD, PEOPLE. LETS MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

**UPDATE** Xavier has done another great email you can send instead:

Hello Spike peoples,

You are going to show UFC Fight Night 13. You are going to make it three hours long, rather than two hours long. I can speak confidently about you making it three hours long because I have just told you to do so. FN13 is a stacked card. I wish to see all of these fights live. You may wonder why you will do this simply because I told you to.

You will do it because if you do, I will watch all your awful commercials. Yes, even the awful f’n body spray stupid commercials you show, and even the stupid horror movie commercials you show. I’ll even be nice enough to watch your commercials for other shows on your network, like the dumb shows where males go ga-ga about oversized breasts and where animals attack alien warships and crap in the “unstaged” real wilderness home movies.

I will watch all of those commercials over the three hour period and you will show all the fights over that three hours. That will be our devil’s bargain. Otherwise, I will DVR your show and skip your crappy commercials.

This is a fair deal, please signify your acceptance by the end of February.

Thanks,

34 COMMENTS
  • Xavier says:

    Good idea, and done. I’m confident that my email will take care of this matter.
    ——————————
    Hello Spike peoples,

    You are going to show UFC Fight Night 13. You are going to make it three hours long, rather than two hours long. I can speak confidently about you making it three hours long because I have just told you to do so. FN13 is a stacked card. I wish to see all of these fights live. You may wonder why you will do this simply because I told you to.

    You will do it because if you do, I will watch all your awful commercials. Yes, even the awful f’n body spray stupid commericals you show, and even the stupid horror movie commercials you show. I’ll even be nice enough to watch your commercials for other shows on your network, like the dumb shows where males go ga-ga about oversized breasts and where animals attack alien warships and crap in the “unstaged” real wilderness home movies.

    I will watch all of those commercials over the three hour period and you will show all the fights over that three hours. That will be our devil’s bargain. Otherwise, I will DVR your show and skip your crappy commercials.

    This is a fair deal, please signify your acceptance by the end of February.

    Thanks,
    Xavier

  • dandeman says:

    E-Mail Done, Take that Spike… Now I want a Manswer

  • jd says:

    Done and done.

  • spida says:

    copied and sent

  • Dangerfield says:

    Email sent but is any of this going to get past spam blockers? I dont really know anything about them but every time I send people emails it always gets stuck in spam blockers

  • Dangerfield says:

    Plus Joe Lauzon and Kenny Florian look alike.

  • Big D D says:

    Email sent.

  • network spam filters catch people trying to mass mail different email addresses on the same domain at the same time. Since this is all going to one email we should be fine

    Xavier, I’m putting yours up as a possible alternative

  • NickRE says:

    Copied and sent.

  • Dibiase says:

    signed, sealed, and delivered. well signed and delivered anyway. damn seal wax kept jamming up my keys, and god knows i have enough of that problemmmmm…what just happened ?

  • Accomando says:

    Clay Guida = Ratings

  • LETS MAKE IT A RED WHITE AND BLUE SPECIAL AND HAVE CLAY GUIDA FIGHTING TERRY SCHIAVO’S EVIL MURDERER HUSBAND INSTEAD YEAAAH AMERICA WOOOOOO ABORTIONS ARE EVIL

  • ilostmydog says:

    Three hours is too short. Just show all the fights and whatever crappy show Spike has for afterwards can go to hell.

  • Wu Tang says:

    Talk about stacked! This card is lovely!!!

  • haha Wu … ‘lovely’?
    WHY DARLING IT’S LOVELY! POSITIVELY SCRUMPTIOUS. DELICIOUS!

  • shanaconda says:

    Spike Spike hear my Cry
    SaTaN’s love you know why
    Three hours of devastation
    Bequeath to virile nation

  • Accomando says:

    “…CLAY GUIDA FIGHTING TERRY SCHIAVO’S EVIL MURDERER HUSBAND…”

    Did he pull the plug?

  • KillerBootsMan says:

    In your email to Spike, tell them you have a Nielsen Box or keep a Nielsen diary. These keep track of individual TV ratings and would lend our complaints a ton more weight.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nielsen_Ratings

  • frickshun says:

    Copied & sent. You need to get this linked on some other sites. Not that I visit other sites. Okay, sometimes I look but just for gifs. I may have read a few articles but I swear I haven’t posted replies.

  • adc says:

    If they do a 3 hour show, they’re just showing extra one hour of ads :(

  • #1 jackal says:

    3 hours = 1 hour of fights + 2 hours of commercials

    and the bad thing is that they only show about 5 different commercials 100 times.

  • Letter has been sent.

    FL,
    You spelled quadruple the wrong way. Unless their is a different spelling ‘up North.’

  • yeah, octogonize isn’t even a real word either 😉

  • kentyman says:

    Jackal Uncle Sam scares the fuck out of me!

  • makeutapout says:

    It’s in the mail. They better do the smart thing… MMA’s the only reason most of us even watch that damn channel.

  • Atom says:

    How did Frankie Edgar go from the televised portion of PPV’s to the dark matches of a UNF? I know Houston Alexander is exciting, but I think Alexander/Irving should be a dark match (this is assuming Jackal-Nation’s email cries go unheard) The only reason they want to show his fight is if its just like the first two.. in which case it will be the first dark match to be fit in. Edgar’s next fight, assuming a win in this one, should be for #1 contendership anyway.

    This thing REALLY needs to be 3 hours, unless its just their big push for UFC OnDemand.

  • Warhammer says:

    Done and Done…..do we need to address our own political agenda in our post? Cause if we do, I’m for clubbing more baby seals.

  • Oneway23 says:

    To Whom It May Concern,

    It has recently come to my attention that the UFC presentation of “Fight Night”, scheduled to air on April 2nd, has a pre-allotted time slot of 2 hours. As a paying customer and frequent viewer, I feel that an exceptional card of this magnitude being offered on “basic” cable is an unprecedented event and, as such, deserves to have as much of the card shown as is reasonably and financially viable for your network.

    The prior ratings successes of shows like “The Ultimate Fighter”, as well as other prior “Fight Night” events, and the ad revenue they undoubtedly generate, would appear to warrant such a gesture by Spike on behalf of not only the UFC, but also its’ fans, both of whom have contributed greatly to Spike’s success. Fans have become familiar with many of the UFC stars by way of your programming, and to opt not to show said stars (many of whom are on bouts earlier in the card) is a disservice to the contributions they have made to Spike’s fortunes.

    Please seriously consider this beneficial act of good will and elect to make “Fight Night” on April 2nd at least 3 hours, if not longer, and you will reap the benefits of treating this as the “mega-event” it was certainly intended to be.

    Thank you

  • Toelock says:

    Done, and LOL @ Xavier’s second email. I used that one :)

  • Autoguy78 says:

    Done. one from each of my three email addresses.

  • igorpunck says:

    UFC Fight Night 13 Will Be a Three-Hour Broadcast

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