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Lesnar illness fucking with the future

Time traveling is hella dangerous because if you go back in time you might end up making out with your mom, cock blocking your dad, and obliterating yourself from the cosmic timeline. The moral of the story: small actions can have big consequences.

Self-destruction via paradoxical mom fucking aside, this lesson doesn’t just apply to time travel. Good example? That Brock Lesnar shit. Not only is his flu fucking up UFC 106, it’s also fucking up all sorts of other fights in the future that don’t even exist yet like this theoretical Cain Velasquez title shot in Mexico city:

And where might Velasquez’s next fight take place? Earlier this week UFC President Dana White confirmed the company is aiming for an April date in Mexico City. Velasquez-Lesnar or Velasquez-Carwin for the heavyweight title would qualify as a high-profile bout, perhaps even just the kind of fight White promised he would book for the promotion’s planned forays into new markets.

“That would be a dream for me to be there and to fight there,” said a beaming Velasquez, clearly relishing the thought of fighting in the land of his ancestors.

If the Brock / Carwin fight gets moved to January like everyone seems to think it will, then it makes a follow up fight in April a pretty tight affair. Not impossible, mind you. Just tight like a tiger. Would Brock and Shane be willing to go straight back to camp after doing two camps in a row for eachother? This is the part of the post where you’re supposed to look up to the side, scrunch your eyes a little and go “Hmmmmmm.”

Of course this is a theoretical title fight on a theoretical card, so I suppose it could be moved around. Theoretically. Now a time machine would really would come in handy – I could go forward and check out what happened. It would also be pretty cool to get all up in it with your mom and cockblock your dad. What’s your birthday minus nine months?

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