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Kyacey Uscola’s penis has two holes

This hasn’t been the best year in the world for TUF 11 contestant Kyacey Uscola. Sure, it did yield a little Uscola Jr. But no baby – no matter how cute and adorable and all that crap it may be – can make up for losing twice on the Ultimate Fighter AND having your penis mauled by a gang of pitbulls. Seriously. BloodyElbow has the transcript from a recent episode of The Ultimate Fighter aftermath video podcast:

Stephan Bonnar: So Kyacey, after you got off the show you had a pretty interesting fight, and this one was not with humans but rather with a pack of pit bulls. What happened?

Kyacey Uscola: I was walking up to the side of the (TUF) house, along the road, when these dogs sort of ran up on me and cornered me, and um I’m an idiot I didn’t run when I should’ve ran, I squared off with them and sliced my hand punching one in the teeth. Got chunks bitten out of my shoulder, hip, hamstring and the uh money one was that they bit through my urethra and uh I had to have a catheter for two weeks…

SB: The tooth actually pierced through your penis?

KU: Yeah, all the way through.

SB: It bit a hole in it?

KU: Yeah.

SB: Holy shit.

SB: That was a month ago, how’s the recovery? Able to train again?

KU: Getting there, somewhat 10 days ago I got into it.

SB: How about you and the wife?

KU: Just easing in to things.

SB: Maybe start with some blumpkins.

You learn something new every day, and it looks like today you get to learn that a blumpkin is getting head while dropping a tail.

You’re welcome.