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K1 has really fucked up

With all the mishaps going on with the Gracie Fighting Championships this weekend, I’ve been overlooking MMA’s other big disaster event of 2007, K1’s Dynamite USA card. Let’s take a look at some of the wacky things going on with that:

Booking a 70,000 seat stadium: Proof that whoever’s in charge is smoking crack, smack, or some super combination called crasmack. Current North American MMA attendance record is held by the UFC at 19,000. Current North American K1 attendance record : 276 people.

Booking Brock Lesnar: Not that bad of an idea, but might be more successful if this was done 5 years ago when people knew who that was. Also would be better if Brock didn’t have a penis tattoed on his chest. Also not the best case for being taken seriously when your main headliner is a former pro wrestler.

Booking Hong Man Choi: The Hong is a big favorite around the world because he’s like 10 feet tall or something. Unfortunately no one in the US knows this, and they all assume asians are 5 feet tall max.

Booking Royce / Sakuraba 2: I know many media writers like to appear gentrified and say this was the best match in the history of mixed martial arts. But trust me: the average joe would hate this match. And while a always enjoy watching Royce Gracie get pummelled, after 60 minutes I passed out from sheer boredom. Lets ask the magic 8 ball how this 25 minute fight will end: A decision? Stupid magic 8 ball. The correct answer is that this fight won’t even happen because Sakuraba’s brain is a big pile of mush held onto his spinal cord by twist ties.

The undercard sucks: With Gina Carano KO’ed by Thai food, the undercard is stacked with talented but unknown fighters. The best names they have are Jake Shields and Johnny Morton. Which is bad. I’ve seen more star power at fairground brawls. Mind you it’s not every day you see Jake the Snake in a fairground brawl … personally I’ve only seen that twice.

They’re doing this in the US: The irony of all this is that if they did this card in Japan, they would get 30,000+ people easily. Lesnar vs Choi and Gracie vs Sakuraba are huge dream matches in Japan, but here they’re laughed at. Pro wrestlers, genetic freaks, and two former heros past their prime. Things American audiences just don’t go for, but the Japanese eat up.

As it stands, Dana White must be peeing his pants with glee as his competition continue to burn large piles of money trying to get even a quarter of the viewers the UFC does. It’s now a dogged three way race between K1, Bodog, and the IFL to see who can lose the most money the fastest.