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K-1 WTF!! 2008

K-1 Dynamite! has come and gone once again and, once again, we are left with many questions. Where do I get a pair of Aoki tights? Will Fedor vs. Kinniku Mantaro headline Dynamite! 2009? Did I leave the oven on? Would Cro Cop vs. Kongo II consist entirely of kicks to the balls? Why didn’t Alvarez pull the trigger when he had Aoki cornered? Will Sakuraba come out for his next fight on a Jazzy? Where are my pants?

Most importantly, we are left asking how did three MMA fighters not only beat but finish three K-1 kickboxers under K-1 rules? That’s like Helen Keller beating me in a hearing contest, except maybe a little less extreme. Overeem, Mousasi, and Kawajiri’s victories were all spectacular but Overeem in particular stopped a fighter in Badr Hari who is regarded as one of the very best kickboxers on EARTH. Maybe there’s hope for Anderson Silva knocking out Roy Jones Jr.? Nah, I’m just fucking with your fanboy dreams.

Let’s face it: Overeem was supposed to lose. The Japanese love them some Cro Cop and Overeem kneed him in the balls en route to a No Contest. Matching him up with a former K-1 champion could definitely be seen as a punishment of sorts. We knew Overeem hits really hard, but he wasn’t supposed to hang with Hari under kickboxing rules — Hari’s beaten Peter Aerts, Ray Sefo, Peter Graham, and Hong Man Choi. It didn’t matter — Overeem downright embarassed Hari, shrugging off kicks like they were nothing and landing shots with his knees and fists seemingly at will. Alistair Overeem has officially arrived as an elite heavyweight. Cro Cop vs. Overeem II needs to be booked immediately, with the winner receiving an invitation to the Octagon from Zuffa.

This is a goddamn upset if I’ve ever seen one. Between this fight and Mir vs. Nog from UFC 92, it just goes to show how unpredictable this sport really is. Next we’re going to see Melvin Manhoef finish Fedor with a triangle choke and Gina Carano ground and pound Brock Lesnar inside the first round. That reminds me, I’d like to ground and pound Gina, if ya know what I mean! ::winks while girating hips back and forth::