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Jon Jones heads to court

(fake, but still amusing)

Enough steroids junk. Now onto something less depressing: Jon Jones getting arraigned over his DUI arrest.

“Jon is scheduled to appear in court, next Tuesday, May 29, 9 a.m. That’s Binghamton City court. That’s when he will receive his arraignment. That’s when the judge will explain to him what he’s facing here, and also ask him if he can afford a lawyer and all that stuff. If he says yes to everything, if he’s cool with everything that’s presented to him, he will then face a pre-trial. They told me that will happen in a couple months time, around August or September. At the pre-trial, he will receive a plea bargain from the District Attorney, and if he accepts the plea bargain, there will be no trial, he will just accept the penalty that is presented to him. If he doesn’t accept it, then he will have a trial, later on this year. That’s when he faces a maximum penalty of one year in prison and a $1000 fine.”

I am literally on the edge of my seat with concern that Jones will go to jail.. Rich and famous people never get off for stuff like this with a slap on the wrist.

  • Reverend Clint says:

    maybe jail will teach him how to be a real man

  • TheRimReaper says:

    Ryan is gonna wear out the edge of his seat and the ass of his pants before this thrilling saga is over.

  • Giallo says:

    Who’s that quote from? he sounds fucking more retarded then me.

  • agentsmith says:

    He should get Lindsay Lohan’s lawyer, she could kill a hobo on the courthouse steps and they’d give her house arrest.

  • drunkenjunk says:


    or tell her how great a job she is doing rehabilitating her image and not to worry about that silly community service or reporting to probation.

  • kvelertak says:

    also he’s black.

  • drunkenjunk says:

    and he’s from  that dirty cesspool known as western ny.

  • iamphoenix says:

    At least we get to finally have Jon Jones drop a rap album after his stint in the clink.

    It’s called the clink because that’s the sound your asshole makes when it’s brutally violated everyday.

  • frickshun says:

    I thought “clink” was the disgusting half-breed baby of a chink & a latino.