I bet on Jeremy Horn. No, not with any real moneys. But back when I was ripping the MMA Girl for her picks (funny how that turned out, huh?), I tapped Horn to take Marquardt. I figured Horn would be hungry and ready for one more big money run before hanging up the gloves. God knows the guy deserves it … he’s like one of the original MMA journeymen, with over 100 freaking fights under his belt.
Of course, now I know why lots of bettors don’t actually commit to a fighter until they see him at the weigh-ins. Horn’s old nickname was ‘Gumby’, and it was appropriate for all the wrong reasons on Saturday: he was soft and flabby looking. As soon as he took off his shirt at ringside I was like “Aw, shit.”
Hey, I’m not one to believe you have to be a rippling slice o’ man meat to get places in the UFC, but Horn was simply outmuscled by Marquart. Note to Jeremy: All those big muscles and shit do help. While a flabby armed guillotine probably feels like getting your neck stuck in a hydabed (not pleasant, trust me), a guillotine from a musclehead like Nate Marquard is like getting caught in a bear trap. You tap the fuck out before your head pops off. And that’s exactly what happened on Saturday.
So what’s next for Horn? I dunno, but I’d say he needs to meet with a nutritionist, re-introduce himself to the gym, and either cut down to 170 or bulk up so he’s not the bitch of the middleweight division. Oh, and am I the only one who was sad Horn apparently grew some testicles and decided NOT to come out to that 17 year old girl’s cover of Holding on for a Hero? I mean, I’m down with AC/DC and all. But come on. Bonnie Tyler FTW.