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Jack Kerouac is a goddamn idiot

Evan Tanner has a quote from Jack Kerouac up on his blog, which is pretty hilarious because we were talking about him this weekend and saying he was the Jack Kerouac of MMA. For those of you who haven’t graduated up from RL Stine books, Kerouac was basically a beatnik who wrote really impressive sounding books about people who were general wastes of space. They did very little other than travel from place to place, boozing, binging on drugs, and booking it once their welcome was worn out.

I’ve always had an issue with Kerouac because he’s basically trying to sell this fantasy of individuality which is basically just conformity to another set of standards. He says “Be different, think different, march to the beat of your own drum”, but never realizes that some drums don’t deserve to be marched to. People who say things just to be different and interesting are fucking vapid as hell. People who are ruled by their emotions and not any form of rationale are destined to live lives of self-sabotage and misery. They try to justify their destructive tendencies by wrapping it up in the romantic notion of a candle burning fast and bright.

I’m not surprised that Tanner is a fan of Kerouac … his entire journey from the point where he sold everything to ‘head south’ reads just like Kerouac’s book On the Road. And just like On the Road, his story was pretty damn depressing. It’s only been recently where Tanner stepped out of the role of Sal Paradise has there been any positive change. But since his loss to Okami there was a return to the ways of ‘beat’ with his all or nothing week at the blackjack tables, and now this quote is up.

I’m hoping Tanner’s not slipping back into the habits from before, and I’m not talking about drinking. The whole ‘Kerouac’ thing is a crock of shit, and certainly not the kind of lifestyle that’s destined to lead to a happy, normal life.

  • Jemaleddin says:

    Uhhhh…. Boobies? Testicles? You’re throwin me for a loop here with the book report format.

  • You know, I failed english back in high school because I handed in a similar paper saying Kerouac was a fraud. Perhaps this is just me getting that repressed shit out.

    Nah, I just find it unfortunate that Tanner subscribes to that stuff.

  • Ram says:


    Goddamn renaissance man, you is. Ponies, Kerouac and five hundred different ways of calling someone a homo, you’ve got it all down. Tanner’s two-thumbs vibe smelled of that self-centered, individualist bullshit. There are people who are afraid of success and people who find that sabotage is a hell of a way to get people looking your direction. That he outed himself with that cheesy antipop quote from a fraud…

  • DannyP72 says:

    I guess you could do Literacylinker for next April Fools

  • Jemaleddin says:

    Up next on FightLinker: an extended treatise comparing Fedor in M-1 Global to the albatross in “Rime of the Ancient Mariner” with an accompanying parody poem.

    Then an entry titled after masturbation featuring pix of hot chix.

  • kudos for spotting Kerouac ‘s lameness. thought it was only me who didn’t buy into that shit.

    Goddamn proto-hippies

  • RL Dookiefuck says:

    So which fighter is the Bill Buckley of MMA?

    Applicants must meet the following criteria:
    -Incredibly homosexual
    -Firearms enthusiast to the point of obsession
    -Heroin addict
    -Shot and killed estranged wife during a drunken game of “William Tell”

    p.s. Kerouac owns. PEACE OUT

  • garth says:

    if i gotta read a beat it’s going to be Mr. Henry Bukoski and no one else.

  • caspersghost says:

    great stuff! :)

  • RL Dookiefuck says:

    I know you didn’t just call Charles “Henry” Bukowski a beat.

  • Caution, this post contains difficult words such as but not limited to “individuality, conformity, emotions, rationale, self-sabotage, and misery”. Please reduce editorial content standards to appeal to the lowest common denominator or else I cant read this blog anymore. You Canadians are too intellectual! “Kerouac blows” would have sufficed. 😉

  • me says:

    Bill Buckley? I think you were describing William Burroughs.