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“I want to start working on my porn career.”


(“Who likes to party? You like to party?”)

I’ve been a massive Wes Sims fan for a long time. In fact, I went on some pretty big pro-wrestling forums back in the day complaining about his getting cut from WWE’s “Tough Enough” talent pool. Here is my redemption five years later: Sims will be on The Ultimate Fighter. That’s right, we’re gonna have at least 16 weeks of “The Whole Show” to enjoy like we’ve never had the chance to before. Now I know a lot of you just think “Oh, Wes Sims? That crappy guy who stomped on Frank Mir? Whatever.” Big mistake. Sims is one of the greatest characters in the sport and I’m just gonna RELISH the next season of TUF because of his presence. (And that’s saying a lot, because I haven’t watched the show since season eight.)

There are two awesome interviews in promoting TUF 10 with 411 Mania and Heavy, both of which I have highlights of after the jump.

“I just want to make sure because everybody knows I’ve got the largest crotch in the sport.”

“I didn’t put no semen in no one’s food, and no one better have put no semen in my food. If anybody puts semen in my food, I’m pushing their shit in next time, quote me on that. I watch it, and I see somebody did something to something I ate, next time I see ’em, they’re on blast. I’m pushing their shit in…The real thing. Yeah. I ain’t going gay again, but I’ll tell ya, I’m pushing their shit in.”

“I wouldn’t give one fucking penny to Roy Nelson if it had anything to do with food because that fat fuck ate everything he got his hands on. That pig-eating mother-fucker wolfed down, I mean he uprooted a shrub out back and ate it. I ain’t ever seen anything like it. I grew up on a farm, and we didn’t have pigs that hungry… Fat Ass! We call him Fat Ass. That man has a growth over his belt line that at any point could erupt! Have you ever seen Total Recall?… You remember, “AHH! QUAID!” That’s a man! That’s a man under his shirt! There’s another human being in there. Ridiculous fat. Roy, go on a diet.”

“There was no wanking. I tell ya, there was cameras everywhere. There was just no opportunity. I wasn’t doing it unless I was getting paid for it…If you’re gonna wank it, you better got paid for it…It sucks! It sucks, how could it not? Another fact, there ain’t nobody I could look at in that house and wanna go yank it.”

“I flew a chick out there and I started beating the fuck out of her immediately. I had my girl fly out and I fucked the shit out of her in the hotel. I locked us in the hotel; we didn’t get out for an entire day…Oh my God. At first go was horrible for myself because it was just ridiculous. But after that, I about ripped her guts out. I tell ya one thing – if I was someone waiting to get her kidney or something, I’d be dead because her shit’s all bruised up…Oh the shit was fucking — yeah, it was a mess…It makes me sick talking about it.”

On Phil Baroni:

“Man, I just think some of those internet pictures where his pants are hiked down well below his belt line just above his incredibly small penis. And it just makes me sick. I can’t imagine some of the shit he’s done. I can only assume, I can only assume he’s had unprotected gay sex for money. And quote me for that, please.”

On his infamous Powerbomb:

“I fought this guy, he was a last second replacement for my original opponent. He was a lot lighter than my original opponent. I came out punching and I rocked him. He dropped down and grabbed my legs and I thought he was trying to take me down. I wanted to just pick him up and throw him to the side. But when I grabbed him and snatched him up that the dude was out. Oh my God. I always wanted to pick someone up over my head and powerbomb them. It’s just one of those things. It’s like Nascar. You want to see a wreck. I wanted to do it, but I wanted to see it even more. Swooped him up over my head, powerbombed him. I shocked myself.”

“Nobody likes somebody who thinks they’re smarter than everybody else. Those kind of kids in school got the shit kicked out of them on a daily basis. They’re probably rich now, designing the most elegant things in the world. But they’re not very popular.”

“You have to wait and see the show. The cameras were on me 24/7. They might have even gotten a shot of my abnormally large, uncomfortable crotch. Because the camera was on me even when I was in the bathroom. So, you’ll see. If I did anything, you’ll see it.”

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