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I love Luke Cummo

Everyone over at the Luke Cummo forums hate us here at Fightlinker because we say mean things about purging, Dr Jubb, and drinking urine. But the truth of the matter is we don’t ‘hate’ on Luke … in fact, Luke is in my top 10 list of favorite fighters. The fact that he’s a total weirdo just pushes him higher up on the scale. I mean really … who else is gonna tell you about pouring 2 litres of coffee up their anus?

After that I laid on my right side with my feet elevated as my coffee brewed. The next step is the coffee enema. The coffee relaxes the sphincter of Oddi which is the opening of the gallbladder. This allows more stones to be passed. Its 2 liters of coffee held in for 12-15 minutes. I massage in a counter-clockwise motion (looking down at the belly button) to help the coffee get up to the gallbladder. It also helps with any cramping of the intestines.

Needless to say, when the fifteen minutes was up I ran to the bathroom. Wow did it feel great! Imagine one long push and it sounds like urination. I think my intestines were inside out afterward. I pushed them back in with toilet paper and wiped my ass starting from the top of my buttcheeks down to my hamstrings. There may have been some splashing. LOL @ you for reading that!

Doing things differently will always garner you unwanted attention. For example, we here at Fightlinker don’t want the attention of Luke Cummo’s forums calling us assholes and jerks etc. That’s just mean! But they stick to their site and we stick to our ours, and neither of us go out of our way to get in eachother’s faces. They’re free to say whatever they want while sticking ginger roots in their buttholes and we’ll do the same too (minus the ginger root).

But if they don’t want to hear anyone give their opinions about their dumb nutritional ideas, then they shouldn’t have started this two week advertisement on MMA Junkie. I’m just saying.

  • kentyman says:

    I think my intestines were inside out afterward. I pushed them back in with toilet paper and wiped my ass…

    Jesus Christ, rectal prolapse? Where do I sign up?!

  • Swedish guy says:

    I’m NOT gonna link it, but somewhere on the webs there’s the most hideous picture of a weightlifter having a bit (about two or three inchess, I’d say) of a rectal prolapse. I’ve never in my life seen anything as disgusting, afaik.

  • Mr.ThePlague says:

    Damn, I need to get over to his forums. I can’t figure out if piss goes best with red meat or white meat, or what kind of brandy snifter to use.

  • Dan says:

    Luke is one of my favorite fighters and a friend of mine’s favorite fighter. Just because people make fun of you doesn’t mean they don’t like you (see: Evan Tanner). If they expect things like this to happen and be published and people to just nod their heads in agreement they have their heads where the coffee was.

  • Accomando says:

    Imagine one long push and it sounds like urination…..

    “..Pisss, Pisss out my asss…”

  • Mobb Deep says:

    They could get mad, but I don’t give a shit: those people over at that forum are some sick and twisted motherfuckers

  • Lifer says:

    EVERYONE? stop trying to cause a feud! you’re so controversial OMG!!

    aside – coffee enema’s are great. i’ve never been so buzzed off of caffeine in my entire life. it just bypasses your digestive system completely and is taken up the hemorrhoidal artery to the liver and your liver goes woah shit wtf is this and it purges itself of toxins. BAM! you keep sucking down those energy drinks when you should be taking them up your ass for the real buzz.

    the release of the enema is as fantastic as he describes. you really do feel incredible afterwards. he was joking about his anus falling out. i hope. – end aside

  • Jemaleddin says:

    Everybody realizes that there’s no way that liquid is going to get massaged through the colon, large and small intestines to enter the gall bladder, right? I mean, the job of the large intestine is to absorb water – how the fuck is coffee going to sneak past it. And who the fuck believes that you can pass gall stones?

    These fake-ass holistic medicine people are complete idiots.

  • kentyman says:

    Nice. :)

    For those who don’t get the reference:

  • Lifer says:

    jemaleddin – nowhere does it claim that youre trying to get the enema water up into your gallbladder. reading comprehension ftw. you want the coffee to stay in the colon. do you think he invented the coffee enema or something? google motherfucker.

    i believe i can pass gallstones cuz i’ve done it. want pics?

    jubb has a PhD so i dunno where youre getting the fake-ass holistic medicine thing from at all. he has some crazy ideas but his nutritional advice works and is working for many people.

  • Xavier says:

    People are dumb.

  • Lifer says:

    errr sorry … i dunno why luke wrote that massaging is going to help coffee get to the gallbladder. i dunno what he was thinking. maybe he meant caffeine? i’m not sure. anyways i explained how it works in my above post and you can check it out from other resources.

  • Mobb Deep says:

    People with Phds thought that invading Iraq was a good idea too, so you can have a Phd and still be a retard.

  • dulljake says:

    gallstones, if they are present, are removed surgically. In rare cases, a form of Ursodio (an acid that is produced naturally in the body, though in high doses it has been known to adversely effect the immune system) is used,. and BTW, if you want to know how effective the large intestine is at absorbing water, check out the darwin awards. Last year, a guy died of alcohol poisoning that way.
    I already explained how enemas can cause your electrolytes to be unbalanced. Don’t be a retard, and keep things out of your ass

  • Foreskin Face Pete says:

    don’t the chinese eat bear gallstones? how much does a luke cummo gallstone go for on the black market

  • Matt (tapout name shitstain) says:

    I’m sure gallstones will be the next fucking distgusting shit they put in their mouths. I’ll just be unhealthy and happy without giving myself enemas.

  • Dangerfield says:

    Wiki facts ftw

  • riley says:

    I prefer to put coffee in my mouth, has the same laxative effect. As well as enemas being proven to cause electrolyte unbalance lets not even get into the dangers of drinking urine. There is no magic herb, or pill (or body fluid?) to make you healthier. Food is your best medicine. Our 135 pound hunter/gather ancestors were healthier, stronger and probably smarter than all of us, at least smart enough not to pour coffe in their ass, and they didn’t have supplements and ate a local limited diet which didn’t contain the latest wonder plant from the amazon.

  • Lifer says:

    gallstones are present in anyone that consumes protein from flesh, high starch from grains and starchy hybridized vegetables. they are generally waxy and would not show up on an ultrasound.

    any time your bile is forced to break down these substances it becomes waxier and waxier and that is what forms the stones. they are also caused by too much fat/cholesterol being digested and not enough bile to break it down sufficiently and it travels back into your gallbladder where the gallstones form.

    you dont get ‘diagnosed’ with gallstones until there are so many they have calcified. then they will appear on an ultrasound because theyve hardened. this is when they are removed surgically. the gallbladder should never be removed except in extreme circumstances because it is a fundamental part of digestion. if you don’t believe me read horror stories about people not being able to eat what they want again for the rest of their lives simply because they can’t digest it due to lack of a gallbladder and their classically trained doctor never explained this to them.

    i’ve never been diagnosed with gallstones and my first flush produced tons of hard black gallstones. they are generally greenish brown. my 2nd and 3rd flush barely had any black ones so i assume they were closest to the opening.

    i looked up why mine were black and it turns out that it is caused by bilirubin which means at some point in my life the liver was forced to break down red blood cells at a high rate.

    anyways.. i’ve never felt better since experimenting with a bunch of these methods and if it’s a placebo effect i REALLY don’t give a fuck at all. i am down for self-exploration and i’m getting really sick of everyone quoting this expert and that expert because if you look hard enough you can find all kinds of people that will agree with whatever you want be it racism, genocide, diet fads, etc.

  • Mr.ThePlague says:

    This will be great for my next party! Piss in brandy snifters and gallstones on a silver platter with toothpicks through them!

  • jaydog says:

    I’m a fan of Luke Cummo and this stuff just makes me even more intrigued about him. He first won me over when he battled against Joe Stevenson in the TUF2 Finale. The guy has heart in the cage. I haven’t seen his fight since then, but I’m gonna keep an eye out for his fights in the future. Does that mean I’m ready to drink pee? No. But I have done a couple fasts before and it’s true; it enables you to access a source of energy that was buried beneath your old habits. Try it.

  • Matt (tapout name shitstain) says:

    Seriously couldn’t you just inject something if you wanted it to bypass your liver instead of sticking up your ass?

  • hey, it beats airport security

  • wow what kind of creey mfer writes that on their website for the entire world to see?

    not to mention whats with all this about massive gull stones in everyone? if we all have so many of these in us how come they don’t show up in everyones sonograms and MRIs all the time?

  • dulljake says:

    the joy of wiki:

    A regimen called a “gallbladder flush” or “liver flush” is a popular remedy in alternative medicine. In this treatment, often self-administered, the patient drinks four glasses of apple cider and eats five apples per day for five days, then fasts briefly, takes magnesium, and then drinks large quantities of lemon or grapefruit juice mixed with olive oil or other oil before bed; the next morning, they painlessly pass a number of green and brown pebbles purported to be stones flushed from the biliary system. A New Zealand hospital analyzed stones from a typical gallbladder flush and found them to be composed of fatty acids similar to those in olive oil, with no detectable cholesterol or bile salts,[9] demonstrating that they are little more than hardened olive oil. Despite the gallbladder flush, the patient still required surgical removal of multiple true gallstones. The note concluded: “The gallbladder flush may not be entirely worthless, however; there is one case report in which treatment with olive oil and lemon juice resulted in the passage of numerous gallstones, as demonstrated by ultrasound examination (Br J Surg 1992;79:168).”

  • Geoffr0y says:

    Ahhhhhh!!!!! watch out for “24 Marco9690”.
    There are some things in this world you just can’t unsee.

  • fightfan says:

    Thanks post 24……….Instead of coming out my ass I just had everything I ate in the past day vomit out my mouth.

    Thanks agin!!

  • Swedish guy says:

    Hey guys… don’t just click on any available link. And that holds especially true if it says “rectal prolapse” on the line above.

  • Cyrus says:

    lifer: you’re way too annoying to be real. most people on here are standing up for fedor, randy, or, god forbid, ricco rodriguez. You stand up for… coffee enemas. please die. thanks.

  • Matt (tapout name shitstain) says:

    Lifer, shove it up your ass

  • Accomando says:

    “…i believe i can pass gallstones cuz i’ve done it. want pics?…”

    Well, since you brought it up…..

    I for one, think Lifer is hillarious, defending his religion till the day he dies. Your scriptures are just a bunch of stories, Lifer, just a bunch of fairytales. Seriously though, Lifer, keep it up, you show you got stones, gallstones.

  • Wu Tang says:

    I piss out of my ass.. Does anyone have a cup? I have a camcorder…