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“How Bruce Lee Changed the World” Contest Winners!

Here are the winners for the “How Bruce Lee Changed the World” erotic MMA poetry competition! Over the past week jackals have sent in several dozen excellent submissions and we’ve boiled it down to the funniest and the best. Originally we planned on having an actual poetry expert review all the poems and tell us which was most technically sound, but then we decided that ‘Best Erotic MMA poem’ should be the poem that best captures the essence erotique of mixed martial arts. That entry came from WickedKing:

So big so strong
So thick so long
bulging and sweaty
I’m willing and ready
to struggle and strain
feel pleasure and pain
off my back or on top
I will not stop
until the passion has passed
and winded and gassed
I get dressed in the cage
and limply begin the trek backstage

‘Funnest Erotic MMA poem’ was an especially hard winner to chose since you guys are funny mofos. But in the end, Captain’s tender tale of forbidden love between Jorge Gurgel and Rich Franklin won out:

We’re known as fighters
But I’d rather be lovers
I am a master of jiu jitsu
He is the master of my heart
What he calls training
I call heaven
Wrapped in my guard
His body pressing against me
When his eyes lock on mine
And I get caught in his stare
My imagination runs wild
How would it be?
Living together
Loving together
I try to hide it
But my eyes give it away
Yet he does not flee
He never flees!
Despite the rumblings!
Despite the suspicions!
He never flees!
I’m by his side
And he’s by mine
My American Fighter
My Ace

I’d like to thank everyone who took the time to think up some great poems. One thing I’ve learned from this is we need to try and get more prizes because I definitely think we had around 10 poems which all deserved to win. But alas, there can only be two (this time), and those two are Captain and WickedKing, who will be getting their “How Bruce Lee Changed the World” DVDs in the mail sometime next week.